I Broke The Girl I Loved

I Knew It

"You're leaving?" I said, as I moved her hand away from my face.

"Look, your father isn't here anymore. I still have another family," she responded.

I laughed but it was void of humor. "I knew it. I knew you would leave again."

She set her bag down and moved towards me.

"Don't," I said and she stopped. "Don't come in to my life just to leave again. You don't get to keep treating me this way."

"Jayce, you know this isn't that simple," she told me.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was like I was having the whole conversation with my dad again about how "it's not that simple". From the moment she came back I had a gut feeling that she'd leave again but not now, not like this.

"Why now? Why after my dad is dead and the only family I have left is you? Why would you do this to me?" I was getting angrier by the second and Darla must have took note of this as she tried reasoning with me.

"You're 19 Jayce. This house is paid for and you have a job to pay bills and other things. You don't need me," Darla tried to move towards me again but I only back up further from her.

"I needed you. I needed a mom and you were never there. For once I let myself start to think that maybe this would be different but of course it wouldn't be. This is just who you are," I spat out.

"Please understand Jayce," she begged.

"I do," I responded as I walked past her and into the house. "Now get out."

Her expression changed from sympathy to confusion. "What?"

"You heard me."

Darla didn't argue with me and instead picked her bag up and brought it to her car. I assumed Evie was already in the car since I noticed that she wasn't in the kitchen or the living room. The car door slam and I looked back over at it the driveway. Darla was gone before I could blink, just like she had been the first time.
                                       •••
When Darla left it was around 1pm. It had been five hours since then when I started hearing a noise coming from upstairs. During the five hours between now and then I just sat and mindlessly watched tv, trying to avoid thinking at all costs. Aydrian called me six times and sent me ten texts, all of which I ignored. The noise upstairs continue so I grumbled as I got off the couch and walked up the stairs. It was coming from the guest bedroom so I went over to it and opened the door. There, sitting in a ball on the floor with tears pouring out of her eyes, was Evie.

I ran over to her. "Oh my goodness, Evie. What happened?"

She covered her face and said, "mommy left."

"I know. Look at me," I said.

Evie slowly lifted her head up to reveal a red mark across the side of her face. "She hit you," I mumbled to myself.

"Jayce, where did she go?" Evie asked.

I sighed and sat down beside her. "I don't know but she's not coming back."

Evie leaned into my chest and continued to cry. The hatred I have for my mom keeps building and building with every single thing she does. She abandoned me, twice, which makes me hate her but the fact the she abandoned Evie too made me want to throw something across the room and hope that the shattered pieces would become my moms shattered heart. I want the guilt to catch up to her and consume her slowly so that she can feel the pain that I've felt for sixteen years.

The doorbell rang and this only annoyed me more.

"I'll be right back," I told Evie.

"That's what mommy said," Evie whispered.

My heart was breaking listening to her voice crack with every sentence she spoke. I picked her up bridal style and carried her downstairs, laying her on the couch before I went over to the door. The doorbell rang again and I opened the door to see Aydrian standing out there.

"Is it mommy?" Evie asked from the couch.

"No. Stay there," I told her and I stepped outside, closing the front door behind me.

"What's going on Jayce?" Aydrian questioned.

Aydrian just stood there while I contemplated what to tell her and when I didn't say anything she hugged me. Her arms wrapped around my torso and her head rested against my chest. I slowly moved my own arms around her to return the hug. She and I stood like that on my porch, saying nothing, until she broke away from the hug to move towards my door.

"What's that noise?" She asked.

"What noise?" I acted as if I couldn't hear Evie's sobs.

Aydrian looked back at me, "it sounds like cries."

"Wai-" I said but it was already too late. Aydrian had brushed past me and opened the front door.

"Mommy?" Evie questioned from the couch as she lifted her head up. When she saw that it was a stranger rather than her mom she only cried harder.

I went over to Evie and rubbed her back telling her that everything would be okay, as Aydrian stood by the door. Evie wrapped her arms around my neck and told me, "I want to go to bed."

"I'll be right back," I said to Aydrian before I carried Evie up the stairs to her room. She let go of me as I laid her down in bed. I pulled the blanket up to her chin and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Evie. If you need anything my bedroom is right next door," I said. She nodded and rolled on her side to face the wall.

I left the door cracked and walked back downstairs.

"Who is that?" Aydrian asked.

I rubbed the back of my neck as I answered, "Evelyn, my half-sister."

"You have a sister?" She replied.

"Yes."

Aydrian looked hesitant as she questioned, "why is she crying?"

The memories from earlier today flooded into my mind as I tried to answer Aydrian's question.

"My mom left," I answered as a tear streamed down my face.

"Jayce, I'm so sorry," Aydrian said as she put a hand on my arm.

I whipped my eyes and cleared my throat. "Thank you."

She smiled softly at me and I forced myself to smile back. I couldn't help it as my eyes drifted down to her full pink lips and then back up to her forest green eyes. If I left my gaze lingering on her lips a little longer than I wouldn't have noticed that she did the same to me. Her hair fell slightly over the right side of her face so with my left hand I moved it out of the way and tucked it behind her ear, leaving my hand resting there. She looked into my eyes and moved closer to me as I did the same.

Our lips were an inch apart and if either of us moved slightly closer they would be touching. I was about to when Aydrian pulled away.

"I can't. I have to go," she said as she turned around and opened the front door.

"Wait Aydrian," I called out but it was too late as she'd already closed the door.

I put my hand on the door knob to open it and go after her but instead I locked the front door and went to my room. I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes, trying my hardest to block out everything going on in my mind.