I Broke The Girl I Loved

Mr. Maxton

Sunday was as unproductive as any day could have been. If it weren't for Evie needing me to make her food then I wouldn't have left the comfort of the grey silk sheets on my bed. When night fell I once again abandoned the security of my blankets in order to make dinner before eating and returning to them once again. I sent Evie off to bed early since I wasn't feeling up for entertaining her; all I could think about was my parents.

My dad left the world with no warning and I suppose that is what made the reality of it worse. Everyone always just assume that something like this couldn't happen to their family, but here I am, previously having had the same assumption, with a now dead father. Then there was my mom who abandoned me, twice. It is different when someone, who was once a stranger to you, walks out of your life when their done, but when the person who was supposed to help you grow and watch you succeed just decides to leave out of the blue; that is what really hurts.

As I wracked my brain trying to make sense of it all, the anger inside of me started boiling and I was fuming. Without thinking I grabbed the empty water glass on my bedside table and threw with all the force I had. I watched as it came in contact with the wall next to my bathroom and shattered into a million pieces that scattered across the floor of my room. Hot liquid trailed down my cheeks and before I knew it. I was curled up in a ball, sobbing until there was no more water in my eyes.

•••

My body ached as I uncurled from the position I was in and sat up. I stretched my limbs and let my gaze drift towards the clock which read 5:50am. I hadn't slept a wink last night and that was evident when I pulled up the camera on my phone to view my current state. There was still glass scattered across the floor of my room as I hadn't cleaned it last night. I walked into the hallway to find that Evie's bedroom door was closed, indicating she was still asleep, so I quietly made my way downstairs to the closet that contained all the cleaning supplies. I grabbed the broom and vacuum and brought both upstairs with me.

There was glass everywhere. I heavily sighed, mentally slapping myself for being so reckless, and grabbed the broom. I started from the corner I was standing at and worked my way around the outer edges and in towards the wall where I'd thrown the glass. All the while, I could feel fresh tears slipping past the barricades of my eyes. I couldn't stop them or maybe I didn't want to because it felt nice to release the emotions, even if I was sure that I had cried as much as possible last night. When I finished sweeping and discarded of the glass into my bathroom trash, I did a quick vacuuming of my floors just to make sure every shard of broken glass was collected.

"Jayce, what are you doing?" A tired voice asked from behind me.

I stopped vacuuming and wiped my cheeks. "Evie. I'm sorry, did I wake you? I was just tidying up a bit," I replied, my back still facing her.

"This early?" She questioned.

"Figured I'd get some cleaning in now since I work after school today."

Evie didn't reply so I turned around to face her. We locked eyes and she nodded in understanding before turning on her heels to leave.

"I love you Jayce," she said softly before walking out.

"I love you too."

                                      •••

The halls of the school felt smaller once I stepped inside and all heads turned towards me. People were whispering and pointing as I made my way to my locker. They were probably expecting me to crack again like I had last Thursday and I knew I couldn't give them that sort of satisfaction so I faked a smile and grabbed my things, making my way to first period.

"Mr. Maxton," Mr. West said as I entered the class. I winced upon hearing my dads' last name.

"Yes?"

"You missed the test on Friday but you're able to make it up during break today if you'd like," he told me as he shuffled through the papers on his desk.

I smiled and replied, "That would be perfect."

"Great, then I will see you after second," Mr. West said and I made my way to my seat.

Class started shortly after the second bell rang. Mr. West began a lecture but I zoned out, only hearing bits and pieces of what he was rambling on about. I was staring intensely at the surface of my desk, as if it were the most fascinating thing I had ever laid my eyes upon, until I felt a tap on my foot.

"Hey," Aydrian whispered, a hint of raspiness present as if she hadn't spoken in a while. I lifted my head to look at her but her gaze was focused ahead of her.

"Hey," I responded.

Aydrian relaxed, her shoulders easing a bit as she let out a breath I didn't know she was holding. She had her hair thrown into a messy bun and was wearing a midnight blue hoodie with light grey jeans. Her left hand fingers were wrapped tightly around the opening of her sleeve and with her right hand she was messing with the fabric. She tilted her head to face me, her doe like forest eyes staring deeply into my oceanic ones. I felt a blush creep up my neck as I remained still, eyes locked with Aydrian's. It was as if she was willing me to be the first to look away because if I did, it would be confirmed to her that something was up.

I shifted a little in my seat and Aydrian took notice of this without letting her gaze drift from mine. She was getting to me and I was going to crack soon, one way or another. Giving in to my inevitable defeat, I looked away. Without pressing me for questions, she faced forward once again.

                                        ***

That was the only time we spoke during school hours. I took the English test during break and was surprised to find that it was actually quite difficult, but I feel at least somewhat confident that I didn't completely fail. Throughout my other classes and the remainder of the school day I could tell Aydrian wanted to know what was bugging me but wouldn't ask. The way her body was directed towards me during class and how I would catch her staring at me made me aware the she was curious as to how'd I'd been.

Seeing her care so much for me was odd to say the least. I was new to her just as she was new to me, yet she checked up on me more than that of the people I've known for years ever would. It was nice to know that my name resided somewhere in her brain, reminding her to set aside time to make sure I was okay. Having another person, who thinks and acts completely different from you, show that they care is such a relieving feeling.

Having her as that person for me made it even better.