𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

3. Four marauders

Maeve's Pov
Dorm room
Sunday, fourth week

What am I supposed to do?
I started pacing around my dorm.

I can't ask regulus for help, I know more about this than he does.
The Marauders are a definite no.
Lily, Marlene and Dorcas would be terrified if the knew what happened.

My breathing starts to speed up, causing up burning sensation in my chest.
The blood pounded in my ears.
Looked down at that hands in front of me as they shook and my feet tingled.
My vision became disfigured, as if I were looking through a fun house mirror.
I had to get away.

I couldn't stay, everything remind me of Remus, I knew his things were scattered throughout my room.
I want to grab all of his shit and throw it in his face, but I couldn't even look at them.
I thought I could just move on with regulus, that I could just ignore my feelings.
I couldn't stay here, there was too much of a risk of someone walking in and trying to talk me, trying to make me feel.

I couldn't just run out the door aimlessly, that's how I got in the second half of this mess.
My body pressed it's back to the wall as my legs gave out, as my bottom half hit the floor I pull my knees up to my chest. My jagged breathing turned into gasps, I felt my chest get heavy, as if I was breathing in stones.
I cross my arms across my chest, grabbing ahold of of my shoulders.
My self-hug was accompanied by a sharp pain in my upper back.

I pulled my hands away to see the crimson that was painted over them, and the monstrous claws that replaced my nails.
That confirmed it, I've turned.
I tried to let out a sob but my stomach convulsed from my vigorous breathing.

Why did this have to happen?
Everything was perfect.
I had friends, practically a family. I had a boyfriend, I was in love. I was finally starting to get over Clara's death and the loss of my family.
But now I got thrown off the wagon, my guilt is worse than ever.
If I could kill my best friend for being like this, why do I deserve to live?
I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure.

Finally I let out a sob, as I caught ahold of my breath.
It wasn't fair, none of it was.
I just want them back Clara and my sister,
I loved Clara, and she loved me, we were perfect,
but I never really loved Jane, I think the feeling was mutual though.
Our whole lives she was a burden to me, and I had to constantly be in her space.
But either way, we needed each other.
When dad came home drunk after a mission we'd hide under Janes bed and she'd read to me until I feel asleep.
When my mum was pestering Jane to find a husband, I stood up for her and reminded our mother that we're still kids.
Obviously there were more occasions, but those stood out the most to me.

♡

"I know what I am. I'm a werecoyote." My voice was strong, even though I hated myself for letting this happen. I had excepted that this is my life now.

Madam pomfrey let out a sympathetic sigh with her back turned to me.

"I got this for you." She turned around holding a small vial filled with a shiny black liquid."

"Is it some kind of wolfsbane?" I asked tilting my head to the side.

"No, it will help with your anxiety." She pulled my hands and closed them around the vial, so my hands are in hers.

"To drops under the tongue when you feel stressed, it's not a cure, but it will calm you down-"

"Thank you, but I don't have anxiety." I interrupted.

she just gave me a knowing smile.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. Growing up in that environment- you experienced trauma, and has taken more affect on you than you my realise.
You need to talk to someone, it could be me or a friend. When your ready, maybe it'll be good to let someone in."

She let go of my hands and walked over to another student.

I kept my eyes on my shoes as I walked out of the room.
For a moment I wanted to go up to the astronomy tower to find crooksanks but then I remembered the he was regulus, I only realised how creepy that is now for some reason.

"Maeve!" A dreaded voice called out.

"What do you want Barty?" I rolled my eyes as I turned to face him.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but.." he paused taking a deep breath. "If you didn't have anyone to hang out with, you could hang out with my friends. I promise they'll be nice." He smiled awkwardly.

"I think about it." I returned the smile.

It was weird, well, Barty was weird. He would be nice to me one minute, then he'd be all up in my business the next.
I knew that deep down he was a nice person, I see the way he treats the people close to him, he really cares. He's just misguided, but that doesn't make up for being an arse.

After a moment of awkward silence my feet carried me away, back up to my dorm, only to hear inhumane gaging noise.

"Oh my Merlin! Lily are you okay." I pulled back her hair as she lent over the toilet.

"I'm fine." Her hands shaking. "I just got really sick all of a sudden." She flushed away the vomit and over to brush her teeth.

"Lily, that the third time this week I caught you vomiting." I gave her a sympathetic look.
"Your not fine, you need to get help."

"I'm just really stressed, I already went to madam pomfrey." I already knew she was lying, But just to be sure I focused my hearing, and her heart gave her away.

"Lily, you can tell me the truth-"

"Maeve, thanks for the concern, but I don't want to talk to you. I'm really upset about James and I, and it's your fault." She said, looking at me through the mirror.

"But you kissed me? It's not my fault. Besides you know that I was literally cheated on two nights ago." I slammed the door shut behind me and headed straight for Remus's dorm.

"Remus." I nocked on the door, overlapping whispers and shuffling went in behind it.

"Heyyyy." He replied as he opened the door just enough for his head to poke out. I kept my gaze on my feet, I couldn't bare to look at him.

"I just wanted to say it wasn't you that attacked me and..." my voice cut off as I noticed Sirius in the background. "Can I talk to you please, alone."

He nodded letting the door creak shut behind him as he walked out into the corridor with me.

"I got bit by a werecoyote." Tears lined my eyes. "I turned, and I need help." I blurted out the words in a whisper, finally I looked up at him, but his caramel eyes weren't filled with love anymore, when he looked at me it was like he was staring straight through me.

"Maeve, if your a werecoyote, I'm not the person you should talk to, I'm different, I can't help you." He started to turn to walk away but grabbed his wrist.

"Can't or won't?" My gaze stayed on him as he kept his on the ground.

"Won't." His tone was blunt as he pulled his arm free. I guess he only talked to me because he felt guilty.

I just stood there in the empty corridor, that was it, Sirius was gone, James was gone. Now remus, the boy who was always there for me, has left me.

I guess I still had Peter but the second he realises the others left me, he's sure to join them.

It's official, there are now only four Marauders.

And I am not one of them, not anymore.

A/n

I kinda really hate this chapter but I wanted to update it anyway.
I changed Amara from a Ravenclaw to a Slytherin I while back but I forgot to tell you.

I can't update as much because I've got heaps of school work, but I'll try my best. Thanks for reading.