♫
do re mi - blackbear
I learned that night at the party just how disgusting jealousy can feel. I'd only known the feeling of little cruel thorns prickling under my chest. But while Eren ignored me and indulged in Jean's party, I sat on the couch feeling like my intercostal muscles were being needled with white hot cactus thorns.
This feeling had disconnected me from the atmosphere, so Sasha and Connie both made effort to get me zoning back in. I felt almost dizzy when I zoned back in. All the white hot prickles sort of melted away, and I could refocus.
I sighed, and Sasha patted me, "My girl, you need to have a few." She said, urging me to drink with them.
I heaved a more dramatic sigh, just to make fun of myself, and finally rose from the couch. Connie clapped his hand on my back to congratulate me on coming back to reality.
"What's the matter, anyways?" He raised his brows, "You get in a fight with Eren?" he asked as we entered Jean's kitchen to have a drink.
The kitchen is where most people dwelled, of course, because of the good food and drink. Sasha was nibbling snack after snack, and at the time I didn't recognize it to be a problem.
I sort of told Connie about the issues Eren and I have been having, but he was such a jester that I realized it was futile to speak seriously with him. My eyes looked around for Armin's head of blond. I needed his rushing tide of good feelings to loosen me up.
Sasha nudged me with a drink, I held it but didn't really drink it, just looked around like a ghost. She seemed uneasy in Connie's presence, but I was so in my own mind that I didn't really recognize this, so I didn't whisk her away.
Instead, I yelled over the music, "I'm going to go look for Armin!" and then left them in the kitchen.
I maneuvered through everyone and entered the gold-lit hallway, my eyes swiveled around in search for Armin. A song that Armin and I enjoyed had just come on, and I had to smile to myself because of it.
I checked my phone, expecting an answer to a text I sent Floch ten minutes ago. I'd asked him when he and his friends were getting here, but he left me on read.
" 'Min!" I gasped out, immediately soothed by the sight of him as he came down the stairs.
He smiled brightly at me, then trotted down the last steps quickly to talk to me.
"I've been looking for you!" He said, and I told him I was doing the same, "Oh, maybe we went in circles looking for each other..." He smirked.
"No, I just started looking for you now. I was having a... moment on the couch for a while." I said, and laughed self-deprecatingly.
"Mmm," He hummed, swaying out of habit. He fixed his eyes on me and only me, and I felt good because of it.
Just when we got to talking, Floch and his friends arrived, so I had to be accommodating to them for a while. I engaged his friends in idle chitchat, but I was itching to get away. I felt bad, you know, because I was the one who invited him to Jean's party in the first place.
When I introduced Floch to Armin, he interrupted immediately, "Ah, God damn, no one calls me that anymore! Just call me Flo." He said. I could smell his spicy cologne; it seems some things about him hadn't changed. In fact, I told what I thought right then.
"Your cologne matches your feeling now." I said, meaning he was spicier than he was before.
It took him a little while to realize what I meant, and then he nudged me. I could see Armin look at our brief contact with a sort of veiled jealousy, which made me blatantly smile.
