My Life at High School

Feb 20th 2022

It's legit 1:27AM in the UK right now and I'm on my phone right now to write this but I honestly can't keep it in till tomorrow because I barely survived 45 minutes.

I found this pin while I was randomly scrolling through Pinterest, randomly looking for stuff for later. When I read it, I'm overjoyed with the fact that I'm not the friend that walks behind everyone else when there's not room for all 3 of us and the fact I make sure others don't feel excluded either. Whenever not all of us fit together we always adjust it so all of us are included. Friend A and Friend B. Remember them? After lunch we always walk back to form together. Friend B is always up front, I'm in the middle and Friend A is at the back. But Friend B and I tilt our bodies to include Friend A and all three of us talk together.

I'm also happy to have friends who genuinely care about me and share my interests. They support me like I support them and it's nice to know they're there. I have friends who know when to tease me and when they've reached their limit for the day and friends who ask if I'm okay when I'm feeling bad. And it's not the polite type of 'are you okay?' It's the 'You should go to the medical room if you feel bad.' We might not be an official group of friends but we sit together at lunch and I couldn't care less to be honest. Because we might as well be.

When I have problems, I know I can go to my proper close friends. Friend A and Friend B are always there and give me good advice. Remember how I mentioned I have problems in High School? They're like my personal therapists. I go to them before anybody else. And I'm happy I can help them the same way. They put up with me and my annoying self and I love them for it.

However, that doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm bothering them. It's just a feeling I get, even though I know I'm not. Take Friend C, for example. I'm not close friends with her but this year we seemed to get closer. Probably because we're in the same core set. Sometimes I feel like I'm using her and that she feels like she's being used. Though it's not true because if it was true we wouldn't be copying each other's homework and pair up with each other automatically during PE.

And it's not just in school either.

Someone I know likes to write stories too and we sometimes call each on teams so we can screen share each other's work. And sometimes I feel like I'm just being selfish with my work even though its not the case. She just doesn't show me her work often. But recently she's been writing a new story and it has to be the best piece of writing I've read so far and I'm constantly aware that it's her time to shine and I need to give her the same attention to her story like she does mine. And I love reading it and giving her feedback on it.

I'm honestly so damn grateful that I have so many great friends in my life right now. But I'm not stupid. There is a possibility I might lose contact with some friends more than others. I always make and lose friends because of the amount of times I've moved schools. But this group of friends is the group of friends I want to try and keep in contact with. Hell to the naw am I going to lose Friend A and B. Honestly, they're the best friends anybody can ever have.

I'm not going to lie, I wanted to go on my WhatsApp and write this on my status. But now I'm glad I didn't because as of right now, I am at 669 words. I highly doubt that all this is going to fit on my status and I'm not going to waste my time making more and more. That and I know my friends wouldn't appreciate it because they'll know who they are, name or no name.

But yeah. I'm finished with my late night/early morning thanksgiving speech.

I love my friends so damn much, knowing they genuinely care for me and I'm able to return that love and support to them when they need it.

Good night people.