Mar 13th 2022 - Hating on my sensei

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Yes.

I know I'm late but I have a reasonable excuse.

-ish.

I had tutoring and then was just sitting and reading right after and no, I didn't forget about this, I had it in my head just as I had my friend's birthday in my head.

He just had 30 second call with me right after I finished writing 'reasonable'. He's upset I didn't come but I told him it was his fault because I said he should've told the driver aka my mom.

Next time.

His words not mine.

He's going to eat now so he had to drop the call.

Tomorrow is another friend's birthday and I swear someone's birthday is on March 17th. I thought it was my friend from today, but apparently not. March 17th seems important but I don't know why.

My legs hurt from yesterday, where my legs join my pelvis. My fricking head sensei decided to push me too far when I was stretching. Dude could see I was in pain but he went with it. Probably because I wasn't complaining. I never complain about pain unless I couldn't careless. But at least it doesn't hurt as much as it did yesterday

Top tip: Never trust me when it comes to myself. I'm blunt, sure, but I'll probably hide the fact that I'm in pain unless I'm bothered and/or I'm with Friend A and B.

I was mad again at my head sensei for complaining. He apparently complained that I didn't come to Karate for a bit and if I didn't then I couldn't learn anything. Saying I was angry was an understatement.

MOTHERFUCKER, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN. YOU'RE THE FUCKING TEACHER. YOU DEAL WITH IT. YOU CAN PLAN WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO TEACH ME. IF IT WAS ME COMPLAINING, THEN THAT WAS A DIFFERENT STORY. BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME COMPLAINING SO NOR SHOULD YOU. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE TEACHING. YOU'RE SAYING I CAN'T LEARN THE KARTAS IF I'M NOT THERE. ASSHOLE YOU'RE THE ONE TEACHING ME! YOU DECIDE WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE PURPOSEFULLY NOT TEACHING ME THE KARTA'S AND THEN GO COMPLAINING BEHIND MY BACK. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

That is what I told my mom in a few sentences. But I kid you not when I say that I was raging through out the entire 45 minute journey yesterday, making my mom's headache even worse. My mom said she was going to say all this to him next week and I wish her good luck to turn 45 minutes of a rant into a 5 minute complaint.

This isn't even the first time I got mad at him. The last time I got mad at him I sent a 495 word worth of pure anger to him. I would have honestly written more but I was too angry and missed a lot of shit out and couldn't be asked to write more. And I know it's 495 words because I put it into a google doc and saw the word count.

If you don't want to see my wrath skip the italic.

Sorry for the passive aggressiveness but this is getting out of hand and you need to see from my perspective.

I live an hour away, you know that. You can't just expect me to drop everything to come to karate. There are things out of my control like the weather, the time, my family. I can't just go if a family is sick or there's a storm outside, now can I? I have trouble getting to karate but I still try to go there every week. I try to learn what I can but of course I miss things, which is why I asked for the reference videos. The fact I'm even trying at the moment is impressive. I'm probably the most dedicated student you have. I live an hour away and yet here I am driving that hour to get there and when I can't go there, I ask for reference videos so I can learn at home. I can't always come to class but I can try at home. Did you not ask me just last week to practice at home like I normally do? How can I do that without knowing the next karta?

You said I should come to class to learn the karta but what's the point? What's the point of dedication if I only go there for fitness? I don't learn anything there. You're teaching Jinan the third karta, which is fine because the other Senseis did that to me when I was white belt. But you're teaching her the third karta for the sake of it when you're not teaching the eighth karta when I need it. She doesn't need the third karta for her next exam but I need the eighth one for mine. I'm already stressing that I failed my blue belt exam because I was under too much pressure and made mistakes that nobody ever told me about. So, at the moment, going to class is as useless as staying home. Go ahead and teach her the third karta but you can't blame me for not knowing the eighth karta when I haven't even touched it yet. The best way of me learning is now doing the eighth karta is learning at home on my own a few steps at a time and you correcting me during the lesson. Yes, I'll miss lessons for things out of my control. I have school homework that I'm struggling with, I have upcoming mocks and then my GCSE's in 2023. There are several things that are stopping me from going and is exactly why Taxia stopped coming. But I'm still here coming trying to learn the kartas to get to the next level. At least give me points for commitment. In places where others would drop out, I'm still here. Yet I can't get few simple videos to help me learn at home. Its unfair on me and you because then you'll waste precious time teaching me alone.

And I know that I have a lot of mistakes in there but when you're in a rage you don't always happen to think straight. This time, as usual, I was. Did I let that stop me from unleashing my wrath on him? No. I had enough of this so I ranted out to him.

Less than 12 hours later, I got what I wanted. That has to be the most stupidest thing I've done and it worked. Even my mom agreed.

Some people laughed at my rant but what do you expect? I was pissed and it was reasonable.

It's 4:20 right now and I was supposed to go somewhere at 4. I'm in my room lonely because the teen of the other family is not here. Her 2 siblings are here but she herself isn't.

I was originally going to write one of my stories. Roses to be specific but then remembered about this so I came here.

My rage has now left me empty. I have nothing to write about.

Bye Bye.

PS. Happy Birthday Tomorrow ORIGINALS_XOXO

If none of you have noticed yet, we're pretty close and that is why she is legit tagged on almost all my chapters.

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