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"𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮." 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭.
"𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞?"
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When a stubborn, unmotivated twenty-year-old living a difficult life is in desperate need of another job to cover bills for her and...
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Do you ever get that gut feeling inside of you when you stare at yourself for too long in the mirror and begin questioning why you look like this and not like some superstar model?
I guess you could say I felt like that.
Wait. Scratch that.
I definitely felt like that.
I was 16 when the dreadful time of my life came to a start. I was not your average looking teenager, no. In fact, I was quite rather overweight and wore thick glasses definitely too big for my face and the absolute bane of my existence; the braces.
They made me look ten times worse than I already did. I blame my dad for giving me his crooked teeth.
It was the beginning of the school year and the same four girls would just endlessly pick on me as if I was nothing but a toy for them to play with any chance they got.
High school life really sucked.
Anyway, my disorder started as soon as their vile words hit me right in the chest and I came to the sudden realisation 'I really am not good enough, am I?'
Their words felt like huge boulders, travelling down from a tall cliff, damaging the ground on its way down as it finally collapses completely when it hits the flat earth at the end leaving a large dent or 'wound' in this case.
It was like this everyday. I would usually skip breakfast, perhaps having water on the way out but nothing more. Then have an extremely small portion of salad that they would serve at the canteens and not eat when I got home. I remember telling my mother I would take my plate upstairs but instead, ended up throwing away the whole thing.
Look, I know what you're going to say. Nailea why did you throw away your food? It's all wasted!!
Obviously at that time my mind didn't exactly care for the food, I was only focused on trying to lose weight.
But I'm not like that now.
I'm not exactly back to normal but I do eat a lot more than when everything started so I think that's improvement.
I'm not the same kid I was 4 years ago.
I stare at myself in the mirror and take a deep breath as I take myself in.
My figure isn't as bad now, you can just ever so slightly see my ribs but I know I will get fitter. My collarbone is also still quite hollow and my arms are very thin.
My boobs are barely there, just hardly at a B cup. Although, I have been blessed with a nicely shaped arse.
I'm also not short which is a plus for me. I stand tall at around 5'7, with long wavy almost dirty blonde hair and brown eyes.
