Autumn Leaves Fall and Wither

Chapter X : How Should One Keep a Secret?

He's going to die.

Gorou repeated those words as he waited for Kazuha to reply to his text. His fingers were fidgety and he could feel uneasiness filling his chest as if it was him who was going to die soon. His mind wandered to Tomo, his cocky smile, and his cheerful demeanor. For a person like him to have a fate like this, Gorou couldn't help but feel pity.

He didn't hate Tomo. It was just jealousy, because Tomo could get along with Kazuha and stole Kazuha's attention from him. The only person that Gorou should hate, probably, was himself. He was a coward to begin with, that now Kazuha was bound to have his heart stolen by someone else.

But then again, Saburou could be wrong. Sure, he was a pharmacist and such, but he was still a human. Humans make mistakes. Or maybe, Saburou was just messing with him like usual.

"Hey, Gorou!" Kazuha opened the gate that Gorou was leaning against.
"Oh, hey!" He shifted to face his friend. "Took you so long to open this damn gate."
Kazuha chuckled nervously. "Was too preoccupied with something."
"With what?"
"You'll know when you get inside."
Gorou growled. "Why is everyone giving me that questionable sentence these days?" "C'mon!" Kazuha snatched his hand and dragged him inside.
Kazuha's house was like those rich people's houses Gorou saw in movies. The garden was tidy dan beautiful, with grass-like carpet, colorful flower bushes, and tall palm trees. The garage was even decorated with pillars and railings. Some workers were here and there, tending to the garden.
"My dad's not home," said Kazuha as he guided Gorou into the main building. "We're gonna have so much fun today!"
"Heh. You always sound happy when your dad's not around."
Kazuha only shrugged.
"So, it's only the two of us?" Gorou didn't mean to sound happy, but he might have been that since Kazuha was looking at him with judging eyes now.
"What if it's a 'yes'?"
"Well," he rubbed the back of his head, "nothing."
"I don't understand you sometimes."
"I don't understand myself sometimes, either."

Gorou's head was full of facts he was going to tell Kazuha later. But then, when the words were lined just perfect, a wave of uneasiness washed him over. What if these facts hurt Kazuha in a way that he never thought of before? Kazuha really cared about Tomo, right? Anyone could see that clearly from the way the white-haired young man looked at Tomo and spoke about him. This wasn't a war or something. Gorou wouldn't win anything by telling the facts.

No, no, no! Saburou was just playing sick games with him. Yeah, he was! That guy was untrustworthy! Gorou knew that well! There was one time, a few years ago, Saburou told him that he could eat a beetle raw so he could get taller. If his mother didn't stop him from popping the poor insect into his mouth, maybe Gorou would have an eternal nightmare about a beetle crawling down his throat.
The point is, Saburou is a terrible liar. Gorou would give him an earful when he got home later.

"Ah! Good to see you here, Gorou!"
"Tomo?! You're here? What are you doing here?" Gorou's eyes were as wide as saucers. He was standing on Kazuha's room doorstep, looking at Tomo as if he was looking at someone that shouldn't be here in the first place. This guy is fast. He was at the cafe earlier this morning, and now he's here. Did he teleport or something?

Tomo was sitting on a red beanbag at the corner of Kazuha's room, next to a window. He was clutching a guitar, strumming random tunes as he grinned at Gorou's shocked face.

"Kazuha and I are working on the project!" he said, rather excitedly. "And I am just about to compose the tune."
"He's a great musician. Got an amazing taste for tunes," Kazuha added.
"And I thought you two would never start the project because you had been doing nothing for the past few days," Gorou commented sharply.
Tomo laughed. "But we're working on it now!"
"Yeah, right." Gorou sat on Kazuha's desk. "How's the progress?"
Kazuha picked a book from a nightstand next to his bed. "I've been writing a lot, and we're picking which lines to use. As it will become a song, the lines should have a variety of lengths and figures of speech. Songs aren't always written in literal."
"Argh! Can you speak like a normal person for once?" Gorou scratched his head. "I don't understand any of it!"
Kazuha chuckled. "You can lend a hand to compose the tune if you want."
"Well, I'm not gifted at music and such, but I'll try to be helpful. So, that's what I'm here-not to mention that Saburou is making a scene again at home so I need to escape." Gorou growled.
"Alright." Kazuha put the book on the desk Gorou was sitting on and walked to the door. "I'm getting some drinks for us. You can just relax here." "Thanks!" Tomo answered.
After Kazuha left, Gorou darted his eyes around the room.

He used to play here often when he and Kazuha were younger. As time flew by, they frequently study in this very room together and spoke about the future. They even promised to go to the same campus after graduating high school. To think that the promise had been broken now sent a stab to his heart.

"Who's Saburou?" Tomo suddenly asked.
"My older brother. Loud and bossy. You won't want to be his friend." Gorou's answer was surprisingly honest.
"Oh." Tomo played a tune. "Must be nice to have a sibling who cares a lot about you."
"He only cares when I make mistakes." The younger between them shrugged. "Unlike my other siblings."
"A big family, huh?" Tomo played another tune on his guitar. "Healthy and happy children. Your parents must be the happiest in the world."
"I guess." Gorou looked down at his bare feet. His mind wandered back to Saburou's explanation about the medicine. "Hey, I asked my brother about that meds you had-"
"It's our little secret, remember?"
Tomo's sudden interruption prompted Gorou to look up at him. The man's face was indifferent, but a small smile was plastered on his lips. His eyes were empty, though. Like, he knew what Gorou was going to say next.
"It's not true, isn't it?" He shook his head. "That you are...."
"You two are having fun without me, huh?" Kazuha suddenly opened the door. A few cans and snack bags were in his clutch.
"Ahaha, we were just talking nonsense. Is that Red Soil ?" Tomo stood from his seat and reached a hand toward a canned drink in Kazuha's hands. "My favorite!"
"Here!" The boy handed him a red can. "After taking a break, we can continue!"
"I love working on this project." Tomo popped the can. "Think about all the free snacks courtesy of Kazuha!"
"Hey, you should be the one who provides all this! Not me!"

Gorou forced a laugh. Deep in his heart, he couldn't shake the feeling that Tomo was making all these fake smiles and laughter just to hear Kazuha laugh or to entertain himself. For a person like him, to have a fate like this.... To make it worse, only Gorou knew about this and they weren't even close friends. For the first time since knowing Tomo, Gorou admitted his guilt and defeat.