Slave Or King (A Twisted Fairytale)

Chapter 40: Broken Illussion

Tiara's POV

I looked at him after finally telling him all the truth. All the things that passed between us. He finally knows and I'd be lying if I say I'm not afraid of his reaction. I looked into his eyes. The beautiful blue eyes that always shone like jades were like a bottomless pit right now.

"Haha." Suddenly he burst into laughter loudly and the hair on my skin stood in fright. The angry Alexander was frightening. The calm Alexander promises you a painful death but when he laughs like this, it means he has gone crazy again. Even when we were children the thing I was most afraid of about him was this kind of laughter.

He stopped laughing and looked at me, his eyes softened for a brief second making me wonder if it was just an illusion.

"In the end who am I?"

"Alex..."

"Alex? No, that's not me. I have never been Alex. I tried to be the sweet Alex for you but that was never me. I was a sadistic bastard from the start. I tried to shield you from it but that wasn't enough. Every day even when you smiled at me, even when you were sweet to me, even with our child in your womb, I was itching to hurt you to monopolize you. Leave my marks on you and chain you somewhere that no one can find but I tried to calm myself with your kindness. I told myself she is here. She wants to be with me now. We have our child now. She won't go anywhere anymore but it seems all of this was an illusion. From the very begging everything I did was forcing you. You know when you freed me, I sometimes lost control. At that moment no matter who was beside me I would kill every single person, but soon I find out that if I want to become a king I should control myself. You know what I did to keep myself in check. I told myself that even if she didn't love me, she wanted me that's why she bought me from the start. She was interested in me that's why she chose me as her slave. I said she was just scared that's why she let me go. Isn't it pathetic? I, the crown prince of the most powerful kingdom was happy to be chosen as a slave. It didn't matter. I would be your slave if it means you will be with me but..."

He stopped here and laughed. It was filled with anger, madness, and sadness. It was the most depressing laughter I have ever heard from him. It was like I shatter something that can never be fixed.

"But I was just a substitute and a tool for revenge from the start." He completed.

"No. No." I didn't know what to say. How to fix it. Fix this. Fix us.

Fix it.
Fix yourself.
Fix him.

These thoughts are playing in my mind but I'm frozen. I can't. It's too late. All shattered. Nothing is left. Nothing.

"Were you angry that I snatched a position that was going to belong to you or you were angry that you couldn't be with your dream man?"

"N-no." I choked out. It wasn't like that. Yes, I always told myself that I saved him because of the late king. Because I'm indebted to him. Because he was the one who found a father for me even if he didn't become my father himself. He found me a loving and strong mother that taught me to be a strong woman. He found a loving and kind family for me. He found me a home that I've always wanted. I told myself it was because of those debts that I'm saving Alexander but in reality, I just wanted my friend back. I wanted my Samael back.

Until that night ruined us both.

"So Tiara tell me who am I?"

"You are you. Samael or Alexander, it doesn't matter. They are just names. You are you. My Alex."

He smiled. Seemingly calmed down but his next words made me freeze.

"Yes, it doesn't matter. I don't care anyway. I didn't ask for a name. I asked who am I to you. A broken boy who forced you to be his friend or a broken slave that forced his love on you or the broken king that forced you to be his wife?
She was right after all. There was never a choice involved in our relationship. Not for you and not even for me. That choice was all an illusion that I created to make myself believe you can be mine willingly. The moment I fell in love with you at that dungeon, I already lost everything. My pride, my identity, and my heart, and most importantly the little humanity that was hidden in my soul."