Hamlet but it's Better

Act Two, Scene Two

Location: a hall in the castle

(Enter CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and attendants)

CLAUDIUS: Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, welcome! Now, not that we don't miss your company, we have an actual reason to have you here. You see, my dear nephew...son, Hamlet, he's not well. His father's death has transformed him into a shell of himself. I hope that you two, who know him better than anyone else, will be able to stay here in court and...fix him. Or at least figure out what the problem is.

GERTRUDE: Hamlet talks about you all the time, I think you two may be the closest people he has left. I do hope you'll stay with us. For Hamlet's sake...and the compensation isn't bad either.

ROSENCRANTZ: Oh, phew. I thought it was going to be something hard. Seeing that you're...you know...the king of Denmark. And the queen, gotta remember the ladies, am I right?

GUILDENSTERN: What my associate means is that we gladly agree to be in your service.

CLAUDIUS: Of course. Thank you Rosencrantz and Sir Guildenstern.

GERTRUDE: Guildenstern and Sir Rosencrantz, that's what he means. Now, go find Hamlet.

GUILDENSTERN: I do hope we can help.

GERTRUDE: I have no doubt in my mind that you'll help. (exit ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and some attendants. Enter POLONIUS)

POLONIUS: Your ambassadors are back from Norway.

CLAUDIUS: Ah, Polonius. You always bring good news.

POLONIUS: Oh, I'm not so sure that may be the case this time. You see, I have firm, solid evidence of the cause of Hamlet's behavior.

CLAUDIUS: Do tell.

POLONIUS: But first, for the sheer purpose of building drama, let us bring in the messengers.

CLAUDIUS: Great.

GERTRUDE: Could it be? A cause for Hamlet's ailment?

CLAUDIUS: Don't fret, my dear. We'll get to the bottom of it. (enter VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS) Well? What is the news from Norway?

VOLTIMAND: The uncle of Fortinbras has been informed of his nephew's behavior. He has been forced to swear not to raise so much as a finger against our country to his uncle. Our guard is down.

CLAUDIUS: Excellent! Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. Now, go and rest. (Exit VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS)

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