Hamlet but it's Better

Act Four, Scene One

Location: Council chamber

(Enter CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN)

CLAUDIUS: Something's very wrong with Hamlet. Where is he?

GERTRUDE: Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, go find something useful to do. (Exit GUILDENSTERN and ROSENCRANTZ) There's something you should know.

CLAUDIUS: What now?

GERTRUDE: He's absolutely insane. And...and he killed Polonius last night.

CLAUDIUS: Oh my God! If I'd been there, it would have been me. He's too gone, too evil. He's ready to kill. Now, where is he?!

GERTRUDE: Oh, Claudius. He's truly sorry about it.

CLAUDIUS: Gertrude, he is an amateur actor, and you are a gullible audience member. Guildencrantz! Rosenstern! (Enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN) Hamlet has killed Polonius. I need you to find him and the body before he kills someone else. (Exit ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN) Come, my wife. It's time to make some arrangements. (Exit all)