365 Days

350

350

I wake up on Sunday morning with the rain drops pelting on the roof, but with the sight of two paper cranes on my bedside table. Another thing to tick off my list, and it is all thanks to Alex. I can possibly see us becoming friends in the future, but there is the matter of him constantly trying to sleep with me which is an issue. If he can just get past that I'm sure we could be great friends.

Like every other day I have to go to the doctors, Dad takes Quentin and Mum and I go have breakfast beforehand. Today we decide to go to the local bakery on Palais Street, sitting in the cute little garden out back.

"How was your day with Alexander?" Mum asks once we sit down. It's not raining today but it's still chilly, so we took the table beside the heaters.

"Good. We watched movies and then he taught me how to fold a paper crane. It was fun." I glance down at the menu and scan it through, deciding on what I'm going to eat.

"That's good. I think you two would be really good together," she comments, gazing into the distance as if she is imagining it.

"Mum." My voice is serious and I'm half glaring, but not really because I could never do that to my mother.

"Sorry. I'm just saying," she defends herself, hands up in the universal sign of surrender.

"And I'm just saying-"

"Are you ready to order?" The twenty-something year old waiter interrupts us, notepad in his hand.

Mum nods at me to order first. "Can I please get a skinny latte and the smashed avocado on sourdough?"

"No problem. Would you like your coffee in a glass or a mug?" He asks, scribbling on his notepad.

"A mug, please."

"Sure," he turns to Mum. "And you, ma'am?"

"I'll have the hummus and bruschetta toast," she orders with a smile.

"Will that be all?" He asks, collecting our menus.

"Yes thank you," I say and he leaves.

"You were saying?" Mum asks, rewrapping her scarf around her neck.

"I was saying that I don't want a relationship, Mum. There's no point."

A sad smile turns up her lips. "Honey. You still deserve to be happy and if dating someone will help then that is what you deserve. No matter who it is."

I shake my head, staying quiet while the waiter brings out my coffee. When he leaves again I open my mouth.

"I couldn't do that to someone, to anyone," I tell her. "I'm not going to be responsible for putting someone through the pain of losing the one they love. Even if I did want to date anyone, I just couldn't."

A tear escapes the corner of Mum's eye and she wipes it away as quick as it appeared. "That is so kind of you. I'm so proud of the young woman you've grown up to be," she says, trying to flash a smile that breaks my heart. "But if you wanted to, the guy who you end up with will understand. Sometimes love is worth the heartbreak."

"Even when the heartbreak is inevitable?" I ask, trying to hold in my tears.

"Even when it's inevitable," Mum confirms, placing her warm hand on top of mine. "You need to do whatever it is that makes you happy."

I have a lump stuck in my throat that won't swallow, so I simply nod and smile. Mum squeezes my hand before letting it go and putting on a real smile.