365 Days

84

84

I've been thinking and doing not a lot else. My days are dwindling and I've come to the conclusion that I want to spend them with Alex.

Because I love him. And even though he broke my heart, I broke his too. I think this makes us even.

Then again, I'm dying and he will have to live with the aftermath of that. So maybe we're not even, or at least, we won't be soon.

My hand is shaking so much that I think my phone will fall out of it. I don't know what he will say, but I'm hoping he won't hang up on me.

I dial. Well, I dial four times because I keep pressing the wrong name.

Stupid nerves.

Calm down.

I take a breath and in the space between exhale and inhale, I press Alex, and lift the phone to my ear.

It rings once.

It rings twice.

It rings thr-

"Hello?"

This is where you speak. "Hey."

The line is quiet for a moment, my heart pounding is the only thing that I can hear.

"Dakota. What's up?" He doesn't sound happy. He doesn't sound sad, either. I don't know what he sounds like, but there is a bit of a shake in his voice. Nervous, maybe?

"Um. Well." Spit it out. "I need to speak with you and am wondering if a) you are up for it and b) what day suits you."

After a beat, laughter comes through my phone. It's short-lived and kind of breathy, but it's something. "Do I have a choice?"

I can imagine his smirk on the other side of the phone. There's the Alex I know.

"Not really, no." I can't help my smile. "When are you free?"

"I'm in Tasmania right now, actually, until a few days before I start Uni. I get back on the twenty eighth of Feb."

I look at the calendar on my wall and find the 28th. It's a Tuesday.

"How about Friday? The third of March?" I ask, flicking the calendar to the next month.

"No." Oh. Um. "The first. Wednesday. Is that okay with you?"

"That's the day after you get back," I inform him. "Won't you want a bit of time to relax or something?"

"Technically it's the day I get back. My flight gets in at midnight and I really need to talk to you too. How about you come to mine in the morning? Around eleven because I know you'll want to sleep in."

Uh. I'm confused. The last time I saw him, well, the second last time now, he was beyond mad. It was pretty clear that he didn't want anything to do with me. Now he wants to see me as soon as he can? It doesn't make sense. He should be mad at me still. He shouldn't want to spend time with me. I don't understand.

"Um, okay?"

He laughs again, and then there is some yelling in the background. I think I recognize Fletcher and Samuel's voices. "Sounds good. Anyway I have to go sort out the twins. I'll see you in a week and a half?"

"Yeah."

It's quiet but the he's still there. I can hear his steady breathing and then his serious voice. "I've missed you, Koda."

My heart flutters and I smile. "I missed you too," I say, but he's hung up.

I throw my phone on my bed and grab a pen from my desk and return to the calendar. In the March 1 square I write:

Alex. 11am. Talk.

I'm excited, but nervous. Scared, even. I need to talk to him but he said he needs to talk to me too. I don't know what that is about and it hurts my brain trying to figure it out.

Another thing contributing to my forming headache is why he was back to his normal self. Almost. He didn't sound angry or annoyed or upset like he should be.

The question that's bugging me is, why not?