My Bucky

Chapter 48

PJ pulls up the the Avengers Campus to drop me off. "Thank you for tonight." I smile at him.

"Anytime." He yawns.

"PJ where do you sleep?" I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders. "There used to be two offices at the shelter but May let me have one to live in." He tells me.

"I'm sure Tony would let you sleep here. He's got a million bedrooms." I offer.

PJ shakes his head lightly. "I've been staying under their radar for four years now. I can't exactly walk into their club house and announce myself."

I nod. "You being Spider-Man isn't what killed Gwen Pete. Besides, the world could use as many heroes as it can get." I step out of the car and make my way up the concrete path to the front door.

Upon entry Steve is sitting on the couch. "You're back already?" I question him.

He turns to face me and I immediately notice the dark bruise covering his right eye. "Did Bucky do that?" I gasp.

Steve shakes his head. "Apparently Sam thought that pulling out the wings while standing beside me to show off to some Wakandan girls was a great idea. I didn't even get the chance to speak to Bucky. I saw him though. Through one way glass. Sam knocked me out before I was any use to Bucky's treatment so they sent me back here." He explains.

"Is Sam back as well?" I ask.

"Yeah he's around here somewhere." Steve yawns.

I sit down next to him and sigh. "I have to go see him Steve."

He turns his attention to me completely. "I go back in three days. You're welcome to come."

"Tony can't know." I whisper. "He doesn't want me going to Wakanda. He thinks I'll just get hurt."

Steve's eyebrows push together. "Where did you go today?" He changes the subject.

"A restaurant with Peter and a few of his friends." I respond.

Steve shows me a photo of Peter, MJ, Ned, and the blonde girl sitting at a table that Peter posted on Instagram. "Where did you really go?" He presses.

"I can't tell you." I sigh. "But I promise there was no drinking."

"I know that. I'd smell it on you when you came in if there had been drinking. I told Bucky I'd watch over you and the second I leave you disappear and won't tell me what you were doing. So I'll ask again. Where did you go today Rebecca?" He presses.

"I hung out with May's business partner. When I was there we sort of became friends." I tell half the truth. I cannot let it slip that PJ's got Spider-Man powers.

"Do you like him?" Steve asks seriously.

I roll my eyes. "No I decided I was going to finally get outside and thought spending it with someone I cannot stand seemed like a great idea." I say sarcastically.

He shakes his head. "Hey dipshit I meant romantically."

The sarcasm completely leaves my mind. "No he's just a friend." I say truthfully.

"If you like him more than a friend you can tell me. Bucky wants you to be happy." He says softly, a small frown playing at his mouth.

"Steve this is ridiculous. I just told you I needed to see Bucky not PJ. Hell I didn't even talk to you about my day until you brought it up." I dramatically pull my letter out of my pocket and hand it to him. "This changes everything. Every doubt I had is gone and I want nothing more than to see him and ask if he still feels the same as he did when he wrote this. Because I still love him and that's not going to change."

I walk off to my room without the letter. I know Steve will return it when I've cooled down. I can't bare to look at him right now.

I need Bucky...

~~~~

Bucky's POV 2 months ago

"Go again." I say between my breaths. The woman I've come to know as Shuri looks at me with sad eyes before speaking the dreaded words again.

I feel the winter soldier take control. He strains against the metal cuff holding me to this chair but the single cuff is stronger than he could ever be.

Get out of here. I think to myself.

We have a mission to finish. He responds in my own voice.

You won't hurt her. As the words come out I feel myself slipping back into control.

"Who?" Shuri asks.

When I look up at her I notice the window behind her is now dark. When I went under I could see the sunlight shining through. That tells me all I need to know. I'm not regaining control fast enough. If I were to do this with Becca here he would've killed her already.

"Go again." I demand.

"Mr. Barnes you might do better after a good nights sleep." Shuri says to me softly.

"I don't need sleep. I need to get rid of this monster and if you're not going to help me I want to speak with T'Challa." I say with as much anger as I can muster without triggering the soldier.

"I have been here the entire time." T'Challa steps into my line of view.

"Trigger him." I demand.

"You have been at this for four days straight. You need a break." T'Challa tells me. "I've arranged a hut for you on the edge of the city. There is a bed and an ice box stocked with food. Eat. Relax. And we will continue your treatment in two days." He nods to Shuri before leaving the room.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Mr. Barnes?" She asks as she unlocks the cuff.

"For her." I choke.

"Do you have a wife back home?" She's asks.

A dry laugh escapes my throat before I can stop it. "If Becca knew what was good for her I'd go back to the US and be alone."

Shuri motions for me to follow her out of the building and I do. "Do you love her? Becca I mean?" She asks.

"Yeah." I say honestly. "But I told her I don't because I didn't want to hurt her again."

We walk through a game that some children are playing and I'm at the hut. Shuri holds the cloth door open but after I step inside she disappears. There's a cot to the left with a single pillow and a thin blanket on it. To the right there is a cooler. Inside there's several water bottles and some packages of mystery meals.

I take a seat on the edge of the cot and take a sip of water. I miss Becca. If she were here right now she'd tell me I could fight off the winter soldier in time. She'd run her fingers up and down my arm and rest her head on my shoulder and in that moment I would know that everything would be okay.

But she's not here. I'm alone just like I was always meant to be.