33. Shaffer's School for Unfortunate Children

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"She wouldn't stop trying to make Sarah cry," explained a nervous Clementine as Gene looked at her. "She was saying all these horrible things to her, like her dad was dead, and—"

"All right, enough." Gene turned to Bridget. "Bridget, if you don't want people calling you a cunt, then don't act like one."

"What!" Matt started laughing out loud while Bridget sat dumbfounded by Gene's suggestion. Clem felt a little relieved, figuring she wouldn't have to stop eating because of what she said.

"She's from the pen," reasoned Bridget. "She can't—"

"Bridget, in my classroom you're not getting any special treatment just because you're my only student not from the pen."

"Oh yeah, well my mom—"

"I just finished talking to your mother," said Gene. "She feels the same way."

"No way." Bridget pulled the radio off her waistband and held the talk button down. "Mom!"

"What is it dear?" answered an older woman in a weary voice.

"Gene says that you said—"

"Bridget, if you're going to insist on joining Bill's crew one day, then you need to stop calling me about every little thing that happens," said Bridget's mom. "Now, if you want to come home, then—"

"Oh, I get it," snapped Bridget. "This is just another way to trick me into thinking that joining the crew is a bad idea."

"No, Bridget—" Bridget turned the radio off and slammed it down on the desk.

"Well, now that we've settled that, let's get started," suggested Gene.

"With what?" asked Mick. "What the hell are we doing here?"

"We're at school you idiot," informed Bridget.

"Bridget, enough. And yes, this is a school, and I'm your teacher, Eugene Spiegel, but you can just call me Gene to save time." Gene smiled at his class. "Now, why don't we start by going around the room and getting acquainted." Gene turned to Mick. "What's your name?"

Mick smirked. "I'm Butt-head and this is my brother Beavis." Matt giggled.

"Really? Interesting names. Bit hard to remember though. How bout I just call you Mick and Matt for short?" Mick glowered in response. "And how old are you?"

"I'm sixteen, he's fourteen," informed Mick.

"And you?" Gene turned to Sarah.

"I'm Sarah and I'm thirteen."

"My name is Clementine. I'm nine."

"You know who I am." Gene stared at Bridget until she groaned. "Bridget, seventeen."

"And you son?" Gene turned to the one-eyed boy, who didn't respond. "Come on. We talked
about this. Tell me your name."

"Ad... Adam?" The boy sounded like he wasn't sure if that actually was his name or not.

"And, how old are you?"

"Ten?" he answered without looking up.

"All right, now are there any questions before we get started?"

Sarah raised her hand. "Um, what are we going to be learning at this school?" she asked.

"Good question," said Gene. "Obviously we're not going to have a typical curriculum, seeing as these are atypical times. For most of the morning we're going to do pretty basic school work, albeit work tailored to better fit with our current circumstances. After that we'll have one of the members of the crew teaching you useful skills relating to survival. Today however I'm just going to teach you everything we know about lurkers, since they've become a big part of our day to day life.

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