In misery L.H

Part two:emptiness that consumes

In Luke's point of view as always

I woke up to the soft light cascading through my dark blue curtains.I will my eyes to open not being able to force myself awake I laid there not moving.I fell in and out of sleep more times than Taylor swift falls in and out of love.I opened one eye and then the other looking at the clock on my dark wooden night stand.The numbers 11:23 showing and God I slept in late im surprised my mum hasn't woken me up yet .Swinging my legs over my bed and basically propelling myself up I stretched my limbs and back and then looked down at my shirtless chest ,I wasn't that thin to be honest I looked healthy and I was hungry so maybe I would eat breakfast it just depends I need to go to the store to get some pencils and shit relating to school.

I grabbed a t-shirt and threw that on even though it completely clashed with my basketball shorts and I opened my white bedroom door and walked out walking down the stairs and into my kitchen were my lovely mother and two brothers where sat along side a pack of Marlboro reds and a purple lighter.knowing what was suppose to go down I avoided it like I do best and went to the fridge going to grab some juice then stopped grabbing a bottle of water instead.

Mu could feel their intense stare burning into me and God I wanted them to stop."what?" I asked turning around,jack the middle brother/one closest to my age,giggled slightly until Ben hit his arm

"You know what luke,"my mother snapped.I was slightly pissed by her behavior "oh you found those I've been looking everywhere for them"I said sitting down across from her and snatching the pack before she could react "luke if you keep smoking and skipping meals I'll put you in again you know the deal"she said her undertone laced with concern.The deal was made like two years ago and basically if I get bad again I go into healthcare at the hospital.
"I'm eighteen legally you can't make me do shit,and I get where you're coming from but really back off its ok"I told her pulling a cig out and tapping it on the table my brother Ben who's a nurse looked at the cancer stuck with evident disgust "you're not fine Luke your neurotic half the time and you smoke along with skipping meals God knows how you have straight As and Luke God damn you have one friend who commits felonies"

I was done after he brought Michael into the conversation and all he did was spray paint a good course when he was sixteen.
"You know thank you really" I said standing to my feet"this was inspiring I believe I'll go out into the world and find myself,maybe take up the ukulele, convert to Hinduism and get a pet rabbit I'll name it like aires or some mystic shit" I started walking away my brother finally cracking laughing and my mother started saying something I don't know I just yelled back that I love her.

I went into my room retrieved a pair of black skinny jeans and a green day shirt and a pair of penguin boxers that I'm not ashamed to admit I have and went into my shower.I clicked on to pandora an some good Charlotte song started playing I think it was called little things.yeah it was little things. And turned on the shower and stepped in.The water flowed down my body I turned the heat up so that it slightly burned.I liked to do this as to practice burning in hell.I grabbed the coconut shampoo I use and the matching conditioner and I just know understand why my brothers thought I could possibly be gay and that was why they tried setting my up with their gay friend to.i got out after jack started pounding on the door telling me to hurry up or something like that.i got out and dried off and slipped on my clothes which took at least ten minutes because the skinny jeans take like 5 to put on and by then my hair was dry enough to quiff up and I fumbled with my lip studs and ring trying to figure out which I. Wanted and thought that my normal black ring would be fine I slipped in into the little hole and the lower right corner of my lip.I slid on some deodorant and grabbed my phone and wallet and went downstairs to where my mother was eating pancakes.

"May I take the car please"I asked she liked at me then said
"Where are you going," and I had to fight back the urge to tell her I had to go make a drug run for the mafia and choked out a "to get pencils and some snacks" she looked at me please than slid a plate towards me saying "eat three pancakes then you can go" I nodded and whilst standing up starting eating after about ten minutes I was able to choke all three down.I liked up at her she nodded and then I got the keys and went outside and stepped into my black truck which I think was a suburban I just know it was really big.I put on nirvana lithium and started making my way downtown to the CVS and got my pencils then to whole foods.I don't even know why I came her I rarely come here for anything like ever I just felt come liked to come here,after cutting some pissed off guy off and pulling in I opened my door and got out walking to the front,I walked past the flower area to the the coffee place inside ordered some prissy sounding drink and then left looking down the shelves putting random shit in a black basket .As I was walking down aisle 9 I noticed the Catarina from last night standing their in the middle of the aisle with the black basket on the ground and I watch her as she climbed onto the shelf and tried reaching for a box on the top.Her soft lavender cotton skirt was riding up a little showing more of the tops of her thigh this time wearing white knee socks and a white sweater with a deep scoop neck.She finished this outfit with a pair of dark purple doc martens that I'm fairly certain you could hear coming from a mile away.I just watched her go at it mumbling curse words under her breath and going to step onto the next shelf she looked to her right then left her dark green eyes meeting level to my dull blue ones.

"Luke come here"she said with an almost authorative tone I walked over to her,she removed herself from the shelf and pulled slightly on her whitish creme sweater and looked at me before asking"could you please grab the box of fair trade rice crackers" ever so politely I cracked an almost smile before nodding and looking at the shelf before grabbing them easily and handing them to her.she looked at me besides saying

"Do you now follow me around or is this another coincidence Luke"as we walked to the next aisle.I laughed lightly "don't flatter yourself Catarina it's just a coincidence I was just trying to find some snacks" she nodded and for some God given reason I wanted to talk to the strange girl again "what's fair trade mean?"I asked.She looked at me with a little smile before saying "fair trade is food made without the use of child labor so if you're not a shit person you would probably look for it on food" she said smirking and then she tapped my right arm and I looked down at her and she went left into the next aisle and it was basically all but butters and fruit Jelly's and we stared at a spot until she said "you're fucking me"

"What?" I asked laughing and she pointed to the top where a cashew butter in a purple container was and I grabbed it off the top shelf and threw it into her basket.

"You're a weird person hemmo Catarina said looking at me we where waking towards checkout as I had already gotten what I wanted,"what do you mean?" I asked her she shook her head a little and then started as we reached checkout the person started scanning her items "well half the time you smell like cigarettes the other half you smell like low self-esteem.You have a perfect 4.0 and depression you skip meals and no one even notices it.When Michael Clifford told you that you needed to get better you told him to lower your standards,Luke you're a genuinely confusing person" I was shocked to say the least that wasn't something someone normally said and how the hell did she notice all that it was kinda weird not gonna lie.She pulled out a card and the cashier swiped it and handed it back and began bagging everything up.

"How the hell did you notice all that it's kinda weird"I said handing my basket to the cashier.The older women began scanning the items I got.Cat released an empty laugh"my only friends are people over eighteen I hate everyone at school I'm anti-social and scare people therefore I have no distractions at school so I noticed some shit" I laughed and handed the cashier two twenties and walked out with my bag we were going into the parking and she was still walking next to me "so am I driving you home or?" I asked she looked at me weird before saying "my cars the bright-ass red one" I looked up to see a red triumph spitfire next to mine with the hood down and it was a beautiful car.They where made like 50 years ago and where British sports car with only two seats and fuck she had nice cars jesus.

I saw a man looking around right about then,he looked about nineteen or twenty sitting in the drivers seat he had a black band cutoff tee and a few tattoos on his tanned skin.He turned to us and looked directly at Catarina and started the car nirvana coming from the speakers he had a few blonde strips in the front of his hair he smirked before yelling "Hey cat whose that?" Laughing she said "my long loss brother can't you tell" he laughed we walked to where I would get in and she would to "this is my friend Calum" the guy took off his dark sunglasses showing off dark brown eyes."Hey I'm Calum Hood"he said taking her bag and setting it down.He reached a tattooed hand out to shake mine as Catarina slide into the car."Luke Hemmings"I said shaking his hand.

"See you at school tomorrow "she said as he pulled out of the parking space fairly almost hitting a mother.I got into my car and just sat there smiling stupidly to myself.I got my shit together and drive home eating some stupid vegan cookies and then talked to jack and Ben for a while them telling me about their girlfriends then shoving it into my face that I'm single than jack got pissed when I said his girlfriend,Jamie,was fucking Alex tibeth in my grade so yeah I'm avoiding him for the rest of today and tomorrow .I went into my room sat in my bed and started at the dark blue walls that during my early teens where once covered in band posters.I did my normal routine of self-hate and punk rock and then went to bed after I finished my honors world history course work.God I needed a change fast .