I can't tell you why I'm alone when I wake up,or why Ashton's flipping his shit,Or why he has a bottle of antidepressants or why Calum left as soon as ashton couldn't find cat.Its six am why the hell did she leave at six in the morning and why the hell is ashton calling people and why the hell does everyone know something I don't.I guess something's seriously wrong as she left her phone.I want to know.
"shit.Shit.SHit.SHIt.SHIT!" Ashton says pacing around throwing on a shirt I'm in the kitchen.
"Fucking hell Ashton calm down she'll be ok" and right at those words left my mouth I knew I had fucked up.He stopped pacing and the dim early morning light somehow filtered into the kitchen.You could see the dust through it.twisting and turning.He stopped pacing an running around and looked at me oddly calmly.He curls fell into his eyes as his set the obnoxious Orange pill bottle on the counter pulled out the chair opposite of me and sat down
In the metal chair.He leaned back crossing his arms the muscles tense and his jaw set hard.He looked at me and in this moment I now realized how scary he was and why he was in the mafia.
"Luke I don't think you understand th-" I cut him off saying
"Of course I don't no one will tell me anything" He stared into my soul his usually light hazel eyes turning Into a dark green like Cats."Do not interrupt me kid" he bit back and I quieted town. "There's a lot of things you don't know about her and I refuse to tell you as its her story not mine but I will tell you that when she disappears like this i consider it a serious issue.This is the first time she hasn't brought her phone or told me she was leaving.And knowing her I'll consider this a suicide warning" she say starting to sound aggressive I was caught off guard with the suicide warning part and he looked at me and said "get dressed and go home,I don't want you talking to her I don't want you trying to even go near her you will not have any contact direct or indirect ever again do I make myself clear?" He asked I was confused why was he pissed at me "why?" I asked my voice coming out softer than I would have liked "she was doing fine until you came along and she doesn't need someone like you in her life right now,You have 15 minutes to leave kid"and with that he stood up and left the house I could hear him walk into his office he was cursing and throwing shit and then a loud boom and hell it got completely quiet.I stood up and numbly made my way upstairs to her room and out my other clothes on and sat on her bed staring at the walls I have 8 minutes left and I wanted to spend them here.
It made no sense to have any connection to this place or the inhabitants.I never had many friends and i never had a good home life my parents always arguing then my dad ended up fucking my 8 grade science teacher then got her pregnant which helped set off the divorce.His dad was always late on the child support payment even when everyone knew he had more than enough money to pay it.My brothers always brought home girls and awards and 4.0 GPAs and well I wasn't anything they where and hell it hurt him.
"Hey kid" he heard a raspy voice like he was crying or heavily stressed maybe yelling.I heard more bangs and Aliah yelling at ashton to calm down or something .
"I looked up to Calum bloodshot eyes,like he had been crying for her loss of existence, he had been out for like an hour or so driving around trying to find her."Hey" I said standing up I had three minutes to leave,I started walking into the hallway to the elevator he followed and stoked inside with me and he just sat there staring into me like I was transparent ."kid I know Ashton's tough but Cats really different from what you're probably use to and she needs to have someone watching after her and that's Ashton's job so when she starts to be okay and then crashes it looks bad on you,I know it's not you fault she's been off all week not taking her pills or calling me everyday like she normally does.I get you but please don't stay away she needs the help" and with that he stepped off at the floor and walked away and I went to the front door which was open and into my car ashton was standing there watching. Me pull out of the driveway.God did it hurt it was like 9 or ten on the morning and I was just driving around not wanting to go home yet .I stopped at the red light and just let my head slam into my steering column and my horn blares Loud.
"Fuck"
"Fuck"
"Fuck"
"Fuck its only 12:46 and I already feel like killing myself"thats a new record for me and that's depressing Ohhh God
I reach my right hand down to where my scars are and start scratching I'll usually do it until they bleed and and then I'll clean it up.I haven't eaten since yesterday for dinner and I don't plan on it anytime soon God I feel dread in my stomach why did he have antidepressants what's wrong with her jesus I don't know what's happenin-
Blaring car horns consume my hearing everyone behind me is waiting for me to go I need to pull over and sleep or something Jesus Christ.I pull into a Sunoco parking lot say a pray and fall asleep.
Six fucking hours.I was asleep for six hours and the Suns starting to go down and they haven't found her yet ash is waiting until 8 to call a police search for her.Calum has been sending updates they checked the bridges and shut but she's not there basically they're waiting to call the search.I open my car door and walk into the store going to the soda area I look around and grab a coke,my stomach was hurting from not eating and I grabbed another one to.I really liked soda.
I had the cashier a five and leave the gas station and start driving.I drove past a park and made a quick left into it and parked.I don't know why I'm here I felt drawn to it.Or maybe I didn't want to refill my gas tank and I have no friends at the moment as Michael is at his grandmothers this week and I don't want to go home because that's where everyone expects shit from me and I can never be enough.Fuck I need a cigarette.I get out with the coke bottles and start walking to the play ground where a few kids are left and I fucking see her sitting at the shitty broken down wooden swings.She looks like hell.Her knee socks are down in one leg and ripped on the other shes wearing black leggings with rips her sweaters all disheveled and her Baird out into a ratty ponytail.As I get closer I notice the shaking and the shirt breaths like she's going into or out of a panic attack.god she looked rough her long black nails Pulling at her lips and the other arm wrapped around her waist and she just stopped and u took this opportunity to talk to her
"Jesus cat" I said and she suddenly turned around and I noticed the cut on her cheek and the dark circles under her eyes.She stood up fast and tried to jog away but it was pathetically slow I then realized how tired she must be.
She then stops and looks at me with theese eyes that's just radiate fucking sadness and I just grab her hand avoiding the bruises and cuts all over and put one if the coke bottles in her other and hell yeah a few people are staring I would to.she just follows me to my car where we sit drinking.Neither of us have said a word yet and I text Calum saying I found her and turned off the phone not wanting a distraction.
"Being heartless was easier" she said and hell I felt like I should understand the entire universe from that one vague bullshit statement.
"Was it?"I asked you could hear my legitiment questioning time.She nodded and said
"A lot of things use to be easier" and I left her at that because she stopped replying to me and I brought her home you know I did.And I walked her to her door and I let her hug me and thank me Infront of ashton and I told him I would stay away from her when she went inside and I promised not to tell her why .And I did really think I could get better and I did really think I would be here 14 days later not having eaten in two days straight chain smoking my 13 cigarette in front of the school and I didn't think I would agree to date the school slut just because she said she would get me cigarettes but she was hot and I wanted someone to love and God did I fall hard but hell she (the school slut)fucked my brother.
YOU ARE READING
In misery L.H
Fanfiction"She loved him and he loved her but it wasn't that simple" Or Luke has more issues then vogue and Catarina could help,or break him
