When The Flower Falls (Fitzmael 7)

22: Storm Of Emotions

"Can I carry you?" tanong ko sa kanya matapos ang ilang minutong katahimikan. Parehas kaming pagod dahil katatapos lang namin sa pag-iyak. Ayokong umalis dito sa Karao dahil nandito siya pero alam kong hindi ko mapapatunayan sa kanya—sa kanila, na kaya kong magbago... I would be lying if I'd told her that I love her because I never planned any of this... I wasn't supposed to be here—to be alive. I had to go back and figure things out.

I need to talk to Elimae for the last time. Because all I think about right now is Jealrain.

She nodded. "Tutulungan kita sa pag-i-impake." Binuksan niya ang kanyang bisig at pilit na ngumiti sa 'kin.

Dahan-dahan ko siyang binuhat. Nagsimula akong maglakad sa dalampasigan habang niyayakap kami ng malakas na hangin. Napangiti ako nang makita ang sunset. Napahinto ako at napatingin kay Rain. Nakatingin din siya sa sunset at malakas na bumuntong-hininga. Wala kaming imik sa isa't-isa hanggang sa nakarating kami sa 'king kwarto. Dahan-dahan ko siyang nilapag sa couch. Nakaupo siya habang nakaluhod ako sa kanyang harapan.

Kinuha ko ang aking maleta at nagsimulang mag-impake. Nakasunod lang siya sa 'kin. Isa-isa niyang kinuha ang aking mga damit sa closet. Napaupo ako sa aking kama habang hinihilamos ang aking palad sa 'king mukha. "M-My chest hurts..." I broke down in tears. "Hahanap-hanapin kita, Rain."

"You can call me anytime," she replied. Nilapag niya sa maleta ang mga damit ko saka niya ako nilapitan at hinalikan sa noo. "Simula pa noon, sinasabi ko na sa 'yo, kung kailangan mo ako, nandito lang ako palagi."

"I will do everything to deserve you, Rain. I will give you the whole world when I come back. I promise you that. I will make you happy to the point where you no longer think of what happened to your past. I won't give you any doubts. When I told you that I want to work this out, I really do mean it."

After a couple of hours of packing and crying, we were finally done. Mabagal kaming naglakad palabas ng resort.

"Huwag kang uminom, ah?" Paalala niya sa 'kin. "Wala ako sa tabi mo para alagaan ka, eh."

I slowly nodded. "Sige."

"Kapag malungkot ka, tawagan mo ako, okay?"

"I will."

"Ren..."

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad saka ko siya hinarap. "Rain," I uttered.

"Baka ito na ang huling pagkakataong magagawa ko 'to..." She looked at me, with her teary eyes. "Possibleng hindi ka na makabalik dito sa Karao—" her voice trailed off. Dahan-dahan niyang hinawakan ang aking kamay. "Let me hold your hand before you go," she said. "And let me kiss you for the last time." She took a step towards me. Her soft lips pressed to mine. "I love you, Ren... But we can't be together."

"Not yet..."

She scoffed. "Hindi ako sanay na ganyan ka."

I kissed her back. "Huwag mong iisiping pipiliin ko siya," I began. "I don't want to go back to the things that made me miserable. And if I were to choose, I'd choose myself... I will always choose myself, so I can be the best man for you."

"Kahit anong desisyon mo, susuportahan kita palagi." She smiled. "Let's go? I'm pretty sure your family misses you." Marahan niya akong hinila papunta sa parking lot.

Nakita ko ang aking kotse sa may 'di kalayuan. Mapakla akong napangiti. I used to love driving, but when I got here in Karao, I never thought about it. I never thought of the city that I used to adore. I didn't even use my cellphone for a long time. It was just me, Jealrain, her family and the beach of Karao. I was contented with that.

"Goodbye, Ren..."

"No..." I looked at her. "This isn't a goodbye, Jealrain."

"But—"