The Tower: Happily Ever After

The Stone Door

For the next three weeks, I really struggled. I was as good as my word though and each day I would force myself up out of bed for at least one meal and to take a walk outside. I still felt like I was in a fog, and there were times I couldn't seem to stop crying, but I was trying to get better.

Thor found a healer among the seidr that was known to help people with emotional distress. She came in twice a week and would speak with me. It was different from therapy with Jax, but she was a good listener and had a lot of very good meditation and centering techniques that helped to at least distract me when I was spiraling on negative thoughts. She would also brew potions that helped to even out my moods, though they tended to make that numbness feel worse.

My milk started coming in properly when the twins were three weeks old, so they became more reliant on me. We were still supplementing with bottles - feeding twins was hard regardless of your energy levels - but for the most part, it was me that fed them. I was glad that it had come in, but them being more reliant on me didn't do much for my levels of exhaustion.

Then when the babies were five weeks old, my postpartum bleeding stopped. With the bleeding over, I started to feel more energetic. Not that I was out doing cartwheels or anything, but when I slept I'd wake up relatively well-rested. If I napped regularly, I could maintain that feeling for the whole day. I started feeling less foggy which meant I wasn't as numb as I had been. That didn't mean I was always happy or even mostly happy, but it did mean I felt things, which felt like a step in the right direction. Especially considering feeling sad meant the techniques and potions the seidr gave me were actually useful.

Some days were worse than others, and on one day I was particularly struggling. Thour and Nova were taking turns being awake and being particularly fussy when they were. I was starting to feel like I had no autonomy over my own body and that all I was there for was to be some kind of automatic drink dispenser. I was getting impatient and frustrated and everyone could tell. When I wasn't feeding them, the babies were being whisked away from me and I was being reassured it was fine and told to relax, which only made me more angry and frustrated.

"Alright, you," Sam said, holding out his hand to me. "Come on, we're going to get some air."

"But Nova is going to wake up soon," I argued.

"There are currently six other people in this room who are perfectly capable of getting Nova when he wakes up," Sam said. "He can have a bottle. They both can if Thour needs another. You need a break."

"Go on, El," Natasha said. "We can handle it."

I followed Sam out onto the balcony, unsure about what was going on. The balcony wasn't exactly far enough away from the babies to call it a break and while I could get sun and fresh air out there, it wasn't great for exercise either. "You've got Synergy on you, right?"

I shook my head, slightly startled. I hadn't used Synergy in almost a year, but I always wore the earrings that housed her. "Yes."

"Suit up," Sam said and large wings made of solid light burst out of his back.

I tapped my earring and the iron suit that was housed within bled out of it, encasing me within.

"Hello, Doctor Cooper," my suit's AI said as the head-up display came online. "It's been a long time."

"I've been pregnant," I said.

"I know. Twins. Congratulations," she replied. "It's good to see you getting back out again."

"Thank you," I said. Sam took off beside me and swooped up, curving to the left. "We're following Sam."

"You've got it," Synergy replied and engaged the thrusters.