Daunting Fires (Completed)

7- Number Five

Eric stares at me, obviously amused, expecting me to explain my crazy self. "I... didn't know this wa-was the males' room. Excuse me." I blush a darker shade as I exit the washroom. I hate feeling embarrassed and weak. I hate stuttering. I hate accidentally walking into male washrooms.

I walk shamefully to the cafeteria. On my way to the table, I grab a water bottle. I give the water to Cecelia when I sit. "Did you...cry? Where'd you go?" I wish Jared wouldn't ask me because then I wouldn't lie and lie horribly. "I didn't cry, I just went to get fresh air. Wind blew in my eyes." They nod but Cecelia's lips are pursed.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
I later found out that breakfast always lasts for only 30 minutes. It felt like and hour. When lunch was over, Four and Eric gathered all the initiates into the training room. They talked about how training was a major factor in our initiation, how we could end up factionless if we don't take training seriously, and a bunch of other stuff I didn't tune in for. I couldn't focus for whatever reason.

They finally finish talking and we get to work. There's a platform for fighting, there are targets for knives, a row of punching bags, and a bunch of heavy weight objects. I walk towards the punching bags with the other initiates and I realize how tiny and fragile I look. I'm a bit taller than Cece, about two inches. I'm average weight for my height, age and old faction so Cece looks malnourished compared to me. I guiltily find comfort in this.

"We want to see how far everyone is when it comes to physical work. If any of you have forgotten, Dauntless are all about strength and braveness, both mentally and physically," Four says.

Eric rolls his eyes, not trying to conceal his impatience. "Ok, no speeches. Dauntless born to the platform and transfers to the bags." I'm next to Cece, who has Jared to her other side. I feel so awkward with the punching bag. I look around at how aggressively people are punching. I start punching the bag with my fists, noticing what an imbecile I am. The pain is ridiculous so I use the sides of my hands and my wrists.

"No. You're already doing it wrong." Eric has his arms crossed and smirk shown. I get the roller coaster feeling in the pit of my stomach. Trying hard to forget the washroom incident, I punch with my fists and expect a comment. Eric just shakes his head, still slightly smirking. I take a break from punching and rub my knuckles. "What? Do you need a bathroom break? Don't stop punching," he says serious. I obey, embarrassed, and then he still shakes his head disapprovingly. Why doesn't he just walk around if he's not going to help me?

"Well, then mind telling me what the heck I'm doing wrong?" I sounded more annoyed and rude than I intended. Eric's eyebrows knot into a frown and I think he might end me right now. Instead, he intimidates me by coming close and whispering, "don't you forget who's in charge." I can't help but notice ink on his skin, right near his heart. I can't fully see what the tattoo says; I only see the tops of the letters. Eric sees me observing and suddenly shoves me. His eyes are dark and I feel tiny and shy and stupid. I feel even more stupid when he tells me to do 50 push-ups and everyone looks my way.
---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---
I take a short pause at 20 push-ups and realize that Eric was at the platform, watching Dauntless borns beating each other to pulps. How relaxing. I roll my eyes and Four's voice sounds," I'd be much more careful if I were you. Change your attitude." Today's embarrassment won't stop piling up.
"Ten more." Four saves the day again, letting me forget about 20 push-ups.

I do my last ten push-ups and wipe my brow. The yelling of the fighting initiates is gruesome. I hear groans of pain and screaming but I don't want to see the bloody beat up Dauntless born. I get back to my punching bag, idiotically punching the bag in an obviously incorrect manner. "One arm by your face and one by your stomach." I spin towards Eric. "What?"

He sighs, annoyed. "I said, one arm by your face and one by your stomach." He takes my right arm, putting it almost parallel to the ground. "Are you a left handed person?" he asks me. I nod and try to make false eye contact. "Then your left goes here," he moves my slightly slanted left arm to my face with his cold fingers, "and your right goes here." He forcefully grabs my right arm and puts it slanted and near my stomach. "Stop looking so tense. It makes you look nervous." I swallow.

For a second, I look in Eric's gray eyes. He stares back hard. How do I seem to him?

"Now punch the bag and bend your knees a bit when you do that. Tight stomach." I nod, out of breath. I must've stopped breathing.

I punch the bag and get Eric's approval. "Thanks," I say. He just nods and scoffs. Am I really the one with the attitude? Why is he put to help if he doesn't want to?

I keep punching the bag, feeling sore and exhausted already. I think it's been and hour or so because Eric announces, "ok, transfers. Your turn to fight." There had already been 6 fights because there are 12 Dauntless born initiates. I'm not sure how many may have, but I know one of then bled a lot. They left blood stains on the floor. So, the faster you bash someone's brain in, the smoother the time passes. I walk to Cecelia, who's looking at the blood stain as well. She catches her breath and says, "exhausted and in no way ready to fight." I nod and sigh, feeling like we punched the bags only to get ourselves tired and weak for the fights.

"Over here, kids," Eric says, even though he's a year older than us. We all gather around the platform, sweaty, tired and anxious. "I hope I don't fight you," Cecelia whispers. I turn to face her but she's looking straight forward. I'm not sure if she insulted me or complimented me. But I realize she meant that she doesn't want to be forced to hurt me. Only then do I realize how sick all of this is. Fighting each other for what? Pride? What bull.

"First jumper, last jumper on the platform," Eric says. Jared walks toward the platform, looking for the last jumper. A red haired girl walks toward the platform, obviously nervous. She wipes her hands on her thighs and takes in a deep breathe. Jared gets into fight form, which we only spent 60 short minutes to learn.

"Get into fight form, Ledra," Four says. Jared looks scared, like he definitely doesn't want to through the first punch or the last punch. When he jumped down stories high in a hole in the street concrete, Jared looked less perturbed and more comfortable. I think it's because he has to fight a girl now.

After a while of dancing around and shifting their feet, Jared throws the first punch, hitting Ledra square in the jaw. She steps back a few steps, making Jared follow her. "Someone dominate. Hurry up," Eric says. Ledra tries to throw a punch in Jared's nose but is intercepted and punched in the stomach. Jared then trips her and punches her eye. Ledra's light brown eyes are filled with tears and consternation, anxiety at Jared's unexpected move.

Ledra is pinned down by Jared and he punches her in the nose, making it rain blood. But suddenly, Jared stops and whispers, "I sincerely apologize." I look at Eric, hoping he did not hear that. Eric purses his lips.

For a millisecond and a half, it seems like he surrenders. Then, Jared punches Ledra in the side, making her scream in pain. Next, he punches her on the cheek and Ledra groans, unable to move. Her eyes are shut and she cries softly. She receives empathetic stares from no one but Jared. Everyone else is shocked.

"Ledra? You ok? I'm really sorry. I really am... I- they told me to", Jared whispers in Ledra's ear. He says it so softly, I'm not sure who else hears.

"Nice fight, Jared," Eric compliments. Jared shakes his head in a general direction, obviously outraged. He then takes Ledra from under the legs and follow Four's instruction to take her to the infirmary to Mara.

"Next initiates: jumper number two and...," Eric points to Damian. "Number five."