kat's hands shook, not because she was nervous but because she was excited. her boyfriend—something she was still reveling in (though it's been around a month)—was about to perform, and not only just some regular old songs, but one she took part in writing.
she fidgeted slightly, her hand being grasped by her sister, who was forcefully sat next to her; but kat didn't want to be alone.
the pair sat on the balcony as the fans were below, with their light sticks and voices ready to chant and shout for the seven.
kat shifted again, looking eagerly down the stage. she wanted them to come out now, but she knew it was still too early.
soon, she kept assuring herself, it would start soon. she was always antsy, but something about this was different. she really wanted the fans reaction. she really wanted them to like it.
at this point, there was enough people she cared about who liked what she made, to believe them. but when it comes from people who don't have loyalties to you, it feels different. like a compliment from a stranger on a random street you'll never go on again.
it's why strangers opinions hit so different—because they don't care for you. does that make them honest? but does it really matter either way?
soon enough the boys came out, and soon enough, her breath died away. kat was terrified, just awaiting the moment the place goes silent and nobody cares.
that would suck, she thought, it would really suck.
in honesty, she wouldn't know what to do if that happened. cry? scream? run out? every possibility ran through her head for no reason as the crowd cheered loud, a familiar melody filling her ears. mars was grinning, bumping the girl lightly to show her it was okay.
kat let out a long awaited breath, slowly letting the life fill her back up.
mars looked to her, tears brimming the older's eyes. she was proud of her little sister—something she does feel often. mars knew kat was spectacular, kat just didn't see it that way. mars would give anything for kat to just feel secure in something, anything; she loved her little sister to pieces, more than life, more than the whole galaxy itself. it was hard to admit, because neither one of the girls normalized expressing their feelings to each other (seriously, that is.) but without a doubt, mars knew that kat was special.
kat stared, in an outstanding shock. she heard the crowd cheer some more, and tried to focus on what was actually going on before it was too late, and it was over. she knew she'd ask jay to dance it again, though she's seen it a million times at least. she just knew she wouldn't get enough of it. of him.
the chorus rang out, kat finally coming down form whatever numbness she was feeling. she found jay within the boys, and followed him throughout the rest of the song. she didn't even care about the center position, it was like she was watching a fancam.
there was bubbly feeling in her, bouncing her body lightly. was she proud of herself? well, she didn't know. but she liked hearing something she put effort into—even if she's done it before.she liked the way it sounded from people she actually cared for, even if she didn't know that would be the outcome. she liked that the crowd liked it. she liked that choreographers liked it enough to make a whole dance to it. she liked that the boys liked it, even if just for now. she liked that it was liked; because all she's ever wanted was to be liked, authentically.
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