My boyfriend Michael got up from his seat, luggage in hand. I did the same but lacked the luggage. We stood face to face. His usually joyful, beautiful brown eyes now looked gloomy and full of remorse.
My stomach churned with sorrow, my heart was nearly beating out of my chest from nerves, my throat was dry, leaving me not able to speak, and pretty much my whole body was covered in a cold sweat. An announcement just went off letting everyone know that a flight was soon to take off in 15 minutes, that flight belonging to Michael and his brothers, their stage name being The Jacksons, who were embarking on yet another tour. Departures from Michael were always so hard for me. Every time the next one happens I tell myself not to get so upset because I should be used to this, right? Yet, every time he's about to get on that plane, I'm a weeping mess.
It sounds almost silly to say, but when Michael leaves for long periods of time due to his career, and due to my sensitive personality, it feels as though a part of me gets taken away, and is missing when he leaves. It gets better over time while he's gone, but it just hurts the worst in the beginning.
I tell Michael I'll be right back, in the most normal, non-sad, voice I could muster up. I wanted to say goodbye to his brothers before I most likely would break down in tears. I shared hugs and bid farewell, for now, to Jackie, Tito, Marlon, and Randy, and off they went onto the plane. My heartstrings felt like something tugged at them as I watched them walk off, they were like family to me, so I would miss them a great deal as well. Joseph stood near the plane entrance with a watchful eye letting me know I needed to speed things up, before walking onto the plane too.
I went back to Michael. That same sick feeling from earlier never fully went away, but finally having to say goodbye to Michael made it return with more force. A sad silence was shared between us. Glossy, doe eyes stared down at me. I was biting the inside of my cheek, attempting to keep from shedding tears.
Michael dropped his bags and pulled me into a tight hug. That was my final straw. His embrace sent me over the edge and unfortunately brought me to a state of vulnerability. All the misery and despair from the moment I found out they were going on tour, which was from a while ago, added onto the pressure of today was too much to keep in anymore.
I let out an ugly sob and buried my face into Michael's shoulder. My body shook uncontrollably. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn't hold myself together at least this one time, but the heartache just took over. Michael held onto me even tighter, as did I. Neither one of us wanted to let go and say goodbye. But we had to in the next 10 minutes.
We finally ended the hug, but still joined hands. "Be strong for me, my love. I promise you that the time will fly by," Michael tried to encourage me. I held back my sobs and took large, deep breaths. I tilted my head downwards, not wanting Michael to see my face and having that depressing sight as the last he sees of me for half a year. "Let me see your pretty face," he requested softly.
I hesitated at first but obliged. Michael's face softened, his frown being replaced with a loving smile. "There we go," he cooed as he wiped fallen tears from my cheeks. "Michael," I managed to get out. "I'm going to miss you so much," I cried. He cupped my damp face in his hands. "I am too! You don't know how lonely I feel on tour without you by my side," he admitted.
"Sure, I have my brothers, but it's...it's not the same as having you with me. But hey, we'll call each other every night like we promised, 'kay?" I nodded and wiped more tears from my face. Michael's gaze was gentle.
He leaned down and kissed my lips slowly. I closed my eyes, a sensation of bliss overcoming me. He broke the kiss but went in for another. I deepened it by leaning in further. He put his hands on my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips felt soft and warm against mine. The intimate yet bittersweet moment relaxed me, and for a moment, a brief, short moment, I felt alright. We ended the kiss but still held each other.
"The plane will be leaving soon.." I mumbled. Michael looked at me, then looked down, staying silent. He then reverted his eyes back to me. "I love you," he said softly. "I love you more," I replied, my heart fluttering. He gave me one last kiss on my lips, before picking up his bags and started to walk off.
Tears welled up again in my eyes, making my vision blurry. I quickly blinked them away. Michael oddly stopped dead in his tracks, and looked like he was fighting himself internally as if he considered actually staying, and ditching his brothers and father on that plane, but he couldn't. As much as he probably would like to, Michael wouldn't do that.
He dropped his luggage once again, turned around, and ran into my arms for one last hug. "Au revoir, Y/N, until we meet again," he whispered in my ear. I held onto him for as long as I could, until he slipped away from my grasp. Michael retrieved his fallen bags from the floor and was off. He was right at the entrance when he turned around and waved. I waved back. And we kept waving until we were out of sight of each other.
Fresh tears poured down my face like rain on a windowpane.
Until we meet again, Michael.
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