What Has Fallen

25. Charlette: Drowning

November 3

12 PM

Hermann paced our bedroom folding his shirt, "I'm going to stay with Val for a while. I think it'll..."

"Hermann, you do not have to do that," I stated.

"Charlette, it's for the..."

"No..."

"Charlette, I'm not fighting with you."

Calmly I said, "No one is fighting."

"You aren't even letting m..."

"Hermann," I stood and flattened my dress, "dear," I made my way to stand in front of him, "I understand you are upset. I would be too." Hermann went to speak and I held up one finger, "Please, let me finish." He turned from me and grabbed his other folded shirts. "I got mixed up in a bad thing and did what I had to for the family."

He suddenly snapped at me, "No! No, you didn't Charlette!"

"DO NOT raise your voice with me!"

"Damn you Charlette." He slammed his suit case shut and turned to me, "I heard the whole thing between you and..."

"Do not say..."

"Alice." His face turned to stone. My look cut him sharp.

I shook my head, "You just could never understand..."

"Understand what?" He threw his arms out to the side.

"My family!"

He scuffed, "Your family is suppose to be my family too Charlette, or did you forget that?"

"You have to stop," I shoved passed him and reopened his bag. I heard him huff and I continued unpacking his suitcase. "Listen to me, things are just complicated right now. Alice does not get it."

Gently Hermann took my arm in his big hands to stop me. I looked up at him and he sighed, "No, Char, you don't get it." I went to speak and Hermann said heartbroken, "You cheated on me, really cheated on me. You betrayed your sisters. You wanted to see Alice suffer." He put his clothes back in his bag, zipped the case and turned to me. "I married a strong, independent, driven, family oriented woman; not a two-faced liar." My heart skipped a beat. For the first time, since I've known Hermann, his eyes teared up. "Charlette, I have to go. I need to think."

With that Hermann left our home.

1 PM

Deep breaths. "One..." I sighed. "Don't think about it," I continued to repeat to myself. I scratched at my head as my bun continued to loosen, pieces of waved hair bounced on my neck.

"Two..." I took another breath. The house sounded too quiet. I stretched at the back of my neck.

"Three..." I couldn't believe Hermann left. After four vehement years, as much exploration in our carnal needs as possible, and one fight ever; he's up and left. He didn't let me explain the whole situation.

"Four..." But even if I truly tried, what would I have said.

"Five..." I grit my teeth and clutched my chest.

"Six..." He left because I betrayed my family. I could get being angry with undiscussed cheating. But he didn't even get angry. He was sad and Hermann doesn't get sad.

"Seven..." I took a dense breath. I think Hermann's anger showed more toward the double-cross of my family. Not even my whole family, just Alice... mainly Alice.

"Eight..." I felt my body tense and shake.

"Nine..."

I felt my hair itch the back of my neck and I snapped, "AHHHHH!" I tossed a vase across the room. I tore the cushions off the couch. I flung the pillows at the photos of Hermann and me. I took the portraits of myself and ripped them from the walls. In my haze I shredded myself to bits. I flipped the coffee table and smashed a lamp. I screamed some more than dropped to the floor in tears.