Taming A Predator

Chapter 42

Doe's POV:

I tugged this blanket tighter around myself, letting the raging wind against the city below drown out my spiraling thoughts.

I didn't know what to do after Xander left, I was just... stunned.

Hurt and... angry and frustrated and devastated.

It was the final action that pushed me over the edge and fell over into sadness.

Into that mess of doubts and worries I'd somehow managed to keep my distance from until now.

I wanted to chase after him, but knew that to be nothing more than a lost cause.

To drag him back by the collar of his shirt and demand that he explain himself.

But the cutthroat silence in that room after he left was too much for me to bear, and so I took myself out here.

Sitting criss-crossed on the edge of the weird long couch thing, huddled in a blanket to replicate something I couldn't seem to get much of lately.

Wiping away the few traitorous tears that fell from my eyes despite my wishes.

Why did he just leave again?

It was clear that he was having a problem of some sort, but how did that equate to him bolting from me the way that he did.

A heavy weight sat unwavering in my chest as the seconds passed into minutes.

He had to be coming back at some point right? There's no way he'd just leave me for the night.

It'd already been nearly a half hour.

The wind blew louder around the balcony, but I could only feel a small bit of it.

Even if he did...

I didn't even know if I had a right to be this upset.

I wasn't entitled to his feelings, his thoughts... even to him.

No matter how much I wanted him around or wanted him to be able to talk to me as readily as he let me talk to him.

It's not like we were dating... right?

I was ready to demand answers but were they even mine to demand?

He never pried when I wanted to handle something on my own.

I just thought...

A sigh, and another tear escaped me.

I let this one run its course down my cheek.

I was worried about him. I missed him and I just wanted him back.

Nothing made sense as to why things just suddenly took a turn.

The only connection I could barely piece together was when I stopped initiating anything, but I never imagined it being this much of a deal.

No, It had to be something more than that.

What if it was still somehow my fault?

My fingers curled into the fabric, pulling it over my mouth and nose.

Swallowing hard through the hard lump in my throat.

If it was, he'd tell me, wouldn't he?

Searching my memories for any other situation that could grant me an answer, I came up with anything but.

No... No no, come on there had to be a logical explanation for this, and I was just missing it.

I wasn't used to all of this. Whatever these gutwrenching emotions were.