Sex Addicted [completely]

final chapter...

You woke up the next day and you felt sick immediately so you run to the bathroom and throw up again. And just like that every day came and go but you made progress and that really quickly and pretty good. You still talked on Tom's voice Mail to to let your feelings run free and every time you woke up in the morning you had some hope that something would come back from him.
But nothing ever came and so your hope of seeing Tom or even hearing from him vanished from time to time. You even started to do some clothes, up to now you've only managed one piece of clothing a day, but at least you were very proud of yourself that you could do it again. You could also get by for longer and longer without any tremors or breakdowns and it got better with each passing week. Harrison was still there too and you have developed a very strong friendship for which you are very grateful. He supports you in everything you do and is always there for you if you need someone to talk to. You also go back to your therapist more regularly to better deal with the pain that Tom is gone but also that your sexual activities are reduced to normal and they did that too, you were never really sure if that would happen but it worked out and you couldn't be happier. However, with all that progress and no matter how happy you are, you're still missing a big part of yourself...which is Tom.
You cry a lot but this also got better with every month that he is no longer there.
Nonetheless, you still miss him like crazy, he was with you in your darkest time, he taught you how to stand properly in life and he also showed you how to love...
You can’t just forget about him but it's been a year now as Tom left you and you are really upset but also are really thankfull for that in some kind of way because you don't think that you would be clean by now if he wouldn't had made this step.
You were in your thoughts when Harrison came home, a few months ago you bought a house together but not as a couple but as friends.
"Hey y/n!" He smiled at you as he sat himself beside you on the couch and you immediately smiled back at him.
"Did you eat already?" He asked you serious on which you nodded, because of your weight loss you had through the drugs, Harrison made Sure that you get every Single kilo back on your bones and with some help from him you managed that and you are healthy again.
He smiled at you proud and hugged you to pull you to his side which made you both laugh.

You were lie with him on the couch while you cuddle and watch tv, it was already evening and yoir eyes closed at some point. Haz noticed it some time later that you are asleep and picked you up to bring you to your room but as he put you on your bed you woke up and looked at him just as he did to you.
You saw how his eyes flicked to your lips over and over again but before you could say anything you felt his lips on yours. You were shocked that Harrison just kissed you and you didn't know what to do but as he wanted to kiss you again you stopped him with your hands on his chest. You brows frowned and you looked down to avoid his eyes
"I'm sorry...I just can’t." You whisperd to him and looked up to his eyes again, you saw how it hurts him
"Because of him right?" He asked you caring but also hurt, you really didn't want it to happen like this but even now after a year you can't get into a relationship with someone who isn't the man, the love of your life. You never believed that there was such a thing as a soulmate until you found yours two years ago and lost him a year ago again.
"Yeah, I'm sorry." You whisperd still to your best friend but he shook his head eith a small smile on his face
"It's okay, I know how much you love him." He nodded and walked slowly out of your room after mumbled a little goodnight to you and closed the door behind him.
And just as he said it 'I know how much you love him' made both of you clear that you still love Tom and probably always will no matter what.

Tom's pov:
Today is the day where he get out of rehab, it's been about seven month now when he got into it. He is also clean again and also really happy about his progress.
He got all the things with him in his car again and drove back to his hometown London to his family.
He knocked on the door to see his mother in front of him who immediately hugged him and of course he returned the hug. He knew that she missed him hard and so he was even more happier to be back home. They both wlaked fully into to house where Tom got greeted by all his brothers and his dad also but there also was a person which he hadn't expected at all.
"Zendaya? What are you doing here?" He asked as she came up to him and hugged him as a greeting but his brows frowned also a bit and the confusion is written all over his face.
"I wanted to ask if your parants know where you are because you didn't responded to All the text and calls I made to you and you also weren't at your apartment so I got worried." She said a little nervous to him but he shook his head a little with a soft smile
"I'm good. Thanks anyway." He said.
The time also past by him and he and Zendaya spoke some things out but also that she got still feelings for him. He hated to say that he is going to try a relationship with her but he did it anyway. Even though he still loves you, he doesn't want you to get back to drugs but for his luck you still spoke on his Mail box even now where you are clean again.

Present day:
Tom and Zendaya are a couple for about three months now but he still didn't had the feeling of beeing loved or that she is the right person for him. She kissed him, she cared for him, she laughed with him and also satisfied him but nothing felt like when he was with you. Everything she did was good and all but he knows that you can all this things better.
As Zendaya left the house for some work as she told Tom, he got to his perants house to just catch up with his mom.
She made him some tea and they sat on the Sofa togheter and talked a bit and that is where Tom really were comfortable again but soon Nikki asked him a question, which he knew she would ask but hoped not to hear it
"How is y/n actually? I haven't heard from her for a long time, it's been over a year that you left." She asked her oldest son who sighed lightly and looked on the ground
"I'm not with her anymore. I'm with Zendaya now." He said while he still looked down, not to let his mom see the tears in his eyes. Nikkis brows frowned a little at the news
"Oh but you were so happy with her. Don't get me wrong I'm happy if you are but...you and y/n were the great love Story everyone wants. I-" she started but stutter at the end a little because she could also see that he looked happier with you. But now he looks like he just Acts like he is happy, and that is exactly what he is doing he is acting but not for a film, for the people he is around and lies to himself with it.
He shruggle with his shoulders and looked up to nikki but this time with tears on his cheeks. Nikki felt sorry for him and hugged her eldest son who is now crying in his mothers shoulder while she rubbed his back up and down.
"I don't know what happend between you two but don't don't lie to yourself Tom. It will break you at some point.." he said soft and Tom knew that it would and he felt it with every day. Of course he loved Zendaya in some kind of way just not like she does. She is just not the right Person for him and he knows that. The only woman that is always in his heart is y/n.

As Zendaya got home in the evening she already saw Tom waiting for her and she got confused but walked up to him to kiss him but he stopped her quickly
"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry that I gave you hope that we could work out but I just don't feel this way about you...I never did." He explained to her as she stood infront of him and with already tears in her eyes
"Because of y/n?" She asked him and it hurts him still hearing your name but he nodded at her which made her look down.
"If you are happy I am. I'm going back to the US, I'm just packing my bag and leave in an hour." She said and walked up the stairs and Tom could hear a sniff from her but he couldn't other that end things with her.

She left about 30 minutes ago and Tom was sitting on the couch while eating a bit even though he hadn't even hunger but suddenly his phone rang. Darling....appeared on the display, he still hasn't swapped your name into y/n again even after a year. He considered answering the phone but decided to watch it ring until you hang up and he gets a notification that you left something on his mailbox again.
He opend it and played it out loud
"Hey Tom...ehm it's been a year today as you left. I wanted to know if you are clean too. What I wanted to say is, I still love you even after this time now. Maybe it is meant to be that we only had our chapter together in our lifes and not our whole life. But everything comes to an end, and this is my way of saying goodbye to you. I will always love you Tommy."
And with that the Mail ended, Tom could hear your sobbs and that you cryed while saying all this and also he got some tears leaving his eyes. It hurts him to hear you like that and he wish he could say back to you how much he loves you but maybe your are right....everything comes to an end no matter what or when.
"I will always love you too darling" he mumbled into his chest with sobbs leaving his mouth, and that is his way of saying goodbye to you even when you don't even know that he is just some meters away from you.

Author:
I hate to say it but here is the last chaoter of my first Story. I just wanted to say thank you all for your readings, your votes and all your lovly comments. How you supported me and I hope you loved it and enjoyed reading my Story Sex addicted. Love you all <3