Shadows

Chapter 23

*BELOW IS AN EXCERPT FROM THE NEWLY CREATED DIARY OF NICO DI ANGELO.*

 *TRANSLATED TO ENGLISH*

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Dear Diary,

The past couple months had been a real rollercoaster. I had spent a good eight days in the jar before Percy and Jason found me, and then Annabeth fell into Tartarus. And Percy went in with her. For her. Was it wrong that I had hated them for it? I had to go there alone, at least they had each other... oh well. That was in the past. I had spent time aboard the Argo finding the gates to Tartarus so we could unchain them and save Percy and Annabeth. After all, a promise is a promise.

And then, instead of a vacation, I dedicated my time to transporting a statue the size of two and a half mountains across the world. With Reyna and Coach Hedge. It was an interesting trip, you could say. I learnt more about my powers, and that maybe, I did have a place in the world. Reyna and Coach, they saw the worst parts of me, the most vulnerable parts of me and accepted that. They didn't hate me for it, or weren't disgusted by the abnormality of my entire life. A gay child of Hades who is basically a century old. Not to mention, a total goth-emo. Yeah, not a single thing normal about me. But they said that was fine. And I'm learning to believe that it is fine. 

Or at least it will be. The war ended, which was good, but at a horrible cost. So many casualties, the most heart-aching of all was Leo. I didn't know him well, but I could consider him an acquaintance. For whichever reason, I didn't truly believe him dead, since his soul didn't enter the underworld, and Leo was Leo. He'd find a way to survive, just to annoy the living daylights out of everybody. 

But other than that, I've been almost.. happy. I feel like I've felt something like this before, but I- I can't seem to remember. Maybe my memory's acting up again because of the curse... I don't know. Back to my mood- well, the reason I've been so happy recently is probably because of my new boyfriend. The literal definition of sunshine. Will Solace. Doctor extraordinaire. He's been helping. It's nice, having somebody. It's nice, being loved. Or well- liked. I don't quite know about love just yet. This is all new to me, but I'm sure it will be fine. 

On a darker note, the nightmares haven't gotten any better. That's why I'm writing to you, after all. Will told me to see a demi-psychologist. And she told me to start documenting my dreams, and my feelings in this diary. It's a sort of emotional release or something. I don't know. The nightmares are still horrid. They're random, but terrifying nonetheless. Sometimes I dream of monsters, sometimes of the past- of people I couldn't save. Sometimes of Bryce Lawrence, that prat. And of my fears of losing control again. 

Last night, I dreamed of a clown. It was sort of odd. A man with green hair and the weirdest lipstick. He had scars. But he seemed pretty bad. Especially while beating the brains out of some kid in a costume. With a crowbar, on top of it all. Why such a disturbing dream? I don't know. But the worst part of it all? They both seemed... mortal. The fact that we must be reminded that the mortal world is so bad, so evil, just like the monsters we must put up with, because of our heritage, is crazy. It makes the world so much darker. So so much more dark. 

On a brighter note, [enough of the darkness. Will will literally be calling me a vampire one of these days. For all my 'doom and gloom'] [pun ^ not intended]

Anyways, on a brighter, sunnier note. I'm having a date with sunshine boy today. I'm... looking forward to it. Everybody's been healing. Maybe, someday, we'll be able to stand again, without the fear of collapsing from the multiple burdens we shoulder. Because, as I have learnt recently, we are not truly alone. There's always someone in the world who feels the same way you do, and that one person can help make it easier. So I'm grateful I've found my people. I have to go get ready now, don't want Will complaining about me wasting his precious break time from infirmary because I'm late to our date. I'll... write again tomorrow. Maybe this isn't so bad.

Bye, I guess?

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