My Adeptus💚🖤

Recovery

Zeile's POV

I was fed up with staying inside, I hadn't even been keeping track of how long I had been just stuck in my room. I'm fine! It's just like a cold, my bodies fighting itself and I just need to get over it, it will all be better once I accept it. . . So why can't I? What is it that I haven't accepted? I'm an adeptus so what, I'm barely even an adeptus so why does it matter. I was lied to, I'm barely even an adeptus so why does it matter? It's not like if I knew I'd be able to do anything? Why am I ill? Being an adeptus seemed like such a big thing when I first heard about it, I'm the descendant of one of the protectors of Liyue but I can't do anything.

My eyes glow, so what? I had spent enough time in this room that I had plenty of time to look at my eyes, they were gray. I never saw them glow but I guess that would explain why I can actually see in the dark. My eyes we're gray and it had been so long since I had actually been out in the sun that my skin had gotten so pale. If I didn't feel like myself before, not looking like myself certainly made me feel worse.

I get why I had to stay in my room, it felt like my entire body had disconnected from itself, being touched by another living being hurt but it gave me reason to think. Secrets will always be kept from me and there's nothing I can do about it, clearly my parents were right to hide this from me seeing as how knowing royally fucked everything up. I was angry, angry at everything, I could leave I just never saw the point when no one wanted to be around me and I couldn't even stand long enough to go on a walk. I hadn't felt as unstable as I had been feeling for a few days but I doubted if anyone would want to see me since no one ever visited but it was time for me to suck it up and leave.

I had my parents schedules memorized before but now I really got them down to a t, I could hear then walking by each time they started work so I made sure to get up just a little bit before that to start working and doing everything I would normally do: cleaning dishes that got would usually overflow into the next day, dusting the paintings so they wouldn't be damaged, and feeding the cat. My favorite part of my morning routine was always making tofu for Xiao, this time instead of doing simply almond tofu I added a little surprise flavor just for fun and then I left it on the table I had set out there for him before returning downstairs to greet my parents.

My mom was standing behind the counter with a puzzled look on her face when I came down the steps "Zeile? I thought you were sleeping. Are you feeling better?" She asked, looking like she wanted to come over and hug me but she knew that if I wasn't it would only make things worse "Mostly. . . Things are still a little fuzzy and the suns too bright but I feel soo much better" I said with a grin, a grin I knew she missed from the way she relaxed. "I haven't seen the sun in so long!" I whined as I walked over of the counter "You can go outside you know" She said with a slight laugh.

"I know that, but it'll be too bright" I said with a sigh "Are you still mad at me?" My mom asked and I paused. I hadn't been mad at her for a while, so why hadn't I said something? "No. . . I stopped being mad a while ago" I said but she still looked worried "Are you okay?" I had already told her so why was she asking again "I told you already, I feel fi-" "No. are you okay. . . Mentally. You've been acting a little weird" she said and even the cat had stopped to look at me "I don't know" I said, I could tell she was waiting for me to continue but that was it, I truly did not know.

I took the silence she gave me as a way to change the subject "I'm gonna go find dad" I said before leaning over the counter and pulling my mom into a tight hug before skipping off to find my dad. I found him down by the elevator, overseeing the people who walked in, he had his back to me as I came down the elevator. "Hi dad!" I said excitedly as I stepped up behind him, he seemed surprised to see me as he quickly turned around. "Zei! How are you feeling? Are you doing okay?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

My dad's hugs were always the best, he always calmed me down and I know he knew that "I'm okay" I said though he still didn't let go "When did you get so big. . . It seems like only last week you were up to my knee" he said with a sigh and I laughed softly "Yeah well. . . Time will do that" I said as he slowly let go. "Just make sure you don't "overwork" yourself again" he said and I just responded with a smile and nod "What are you doing out here anyway? Aren't you normally up by mom?" I asked and he turned back to watch the crowd and I joined him "Just watching, nothing all too serious about it. Don't you worry" he said.

I missed seeing all of the patrons of the inn, there were new people but I still didn't get why my dad was watching. "Where'd you get the necklace?" My dad asked and I brought my hand up to feel the crystal necklace "Xiao made it for me" I said with a smile and as I looked up at my dad I saw him looking down at me in adoration "You really have grown up so much. . . Make sure you go thank him for the beautiful necklace" he said and I hummed "I think I'll go do that" I said before walking back on the elevator to head inside.

As I ascended the stairs I saw Xiao leaning against the rails, plate where I left it but not empty. "Did you enjoy your tofu?" I asked while walking towards him but he just seemed to tense and not look back at me but he melted as I wrapped my arms around him. "It was. . . Different" he said and I laughed "You noticed? Did you like it?" I asked and he stayed silent for a little while "It wasn't terrible" he said as I let go of him and leaned on the rails next time me "Well at least it wasn't terrible" I laughed and as he looked at me I could tell he was conflicted.

"Zeile? Are you better?" Xiao asked and I truly didn't know how to respond. The correct answer was also wrong, but the wrong answer felt more right. I hummed as I stared out at the vast Liyue landscape "I don't know" I smiled but that didn't ease his concern, I knew it wouldn't. "Are you having the same problems as before?" He asked, being more specific and giving me a question I actually knew the answer too "No, I haven't had those for like a week" I said and I could tell he was about to ask more questions that I did not have any answer too "Hey, can we not talk about this anymore?" I asked.

Xiao did not seen content with that but I knew if we kept talking he'd only worry more and he does that enough on his own. "Enough talk about me. Why don't you tell me what you've been up to" I said and he responded in a scoff as he avoided eye contact "I've been busy" he said, brooding as much as always "Of course, how could I forget. You and your business" I said as I rested my head on his shoulder. "Do you enjoy the necklace?" He asked and I brought my hand up to run my fingers over the carefully chosen stones "it's beautiful. . . Thank you" I said as I lifted my head up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

Xiao lost his composure at my kiss, I could only see his ears as he had turned away from me but that was enough for me to know he turned red. "You're so pretty" I sang and he brought his hand up to cover his ever growing blush "You talk too much" I was taken aback by his comment but laughed as I knew he meant well and didn't mean it in the rude way it came off as, no matter how much he tried to seem mean. "You're not wearing you're uniform" Xiao said, in a desperate attempt to change the subject and I guess I should comply.

"I wanted to get up early today so I didn't have enough time to put it on" I said with an embarrassed laugh, upset at myself that I didn't plan better. "I'm just happy you're back" he said, still seemingly trying to avoid my gaze as if the second he looked at me the world would implode "I love you, Xiao" I softly said. We had said I love you before but it had been so long that it felt weird saying it, it felt weird to even talk to him again. Xiao was quiet, he must not have heard me.

As I looked down at the entrance of the inn on saw a whole bunch of people walking up "Oh! I should really get back down there to help my parents" I said and Xiao just responded in a brief nod. "I missed you" I said as I quickly hugged him, wanting to stay like that forever but it only lasted a few seconds before I rushed down the stairs to help my parents with the various new patrons.