Different

Chapter 20

Recommended song: Little white lies

Here I am again, in front of the door of the house that the boys rented in New York.
The door is half open. Weird. I push it and enter the house. It's totally quiet.

"Hello ?" I call

No answers. I climb upstairs and head to Harry's room, hoping he will be in there, when I hear his voice coming from Louis's room. I don't know why but I instinctively hide behind a closet.

"I'll be right back" he says and suddenly appears at the front of the door. He's only wearing boxers and his hair is messy.
Thankfully, he goes in the opposite direction and, without really knowing what I'm doing, I go back downstairs without making a sound and leave the house.

When I'm outside I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure why I left. I came to reassure myself on the fact that he loves me and as soon as I arrive, I already see him leaving Louis's room with messy hair and half naked. It probably doesn't mean anything but this, added to all the other things, it's too much. Especially after yesterday when, after one week he finally decided to Skype me, but Louis was laid down next to him.
I think I need to go away for a little while. I should talk to him but I don't have the courage. At least not now.
There is a small hotel a few streets away, I could stay there a few days before taking the plane back.

~
Two days after

Harry's point of view

My phone rings and the screen indicates a Skype call from Charlotte. I immediately pick up.

"Hey baby girl !" I exclaim

"Hum sorry this is not Charlotte. It's Hanna, her best friend. Sorry for calling you from her account but she didn't disconnect herself before leaving and that's the only way I found to reach you" a feminine voice says

"Oh ok sorry. Is everything ok ?" I worry a little bit embarrassed

"Actually not really, I'm worried for Charlotte. I didn't heard from her since she left, almost two days ago. Is she with you ?"

"No she's not, why would she ? Wasn't she supposed to be at your place ?" I'm really worried now

"She left on Saturday to join you. She usually always sends me a text to tell me that she arrived safely, but not this time. And now that's it's Monday and that she hasn't answered any of my phone calls or my messages, I'm starting to worry" the girl explains

"How so ? She was supposed to come back ? She didn't tell me about that ! When was she supposed to arrive ?" I question

"At 6pm in American time"

"I spent all the afternoon with Louis that day, the other lads were out and I didn't see her" I frown

"Oh no, fuck" she mumbles

"What ? What's wrong ?"

"I think you guys have a lot to discuss. Is there a small hotel nearby ? She can't afford for something very expensive, maybe she took a room"

"Yeah you're right I'm gonna look for her now, I'll keep you informed" I say before hanging up and leaving the house in a rush.

~

Charlotte's point of view

knock knock

I put down my book and go to the door. It's probably the groom. What part of the I-don't-want-to-be-disturbed did he not understand ?

"I said I didn't --" I immediately interrupt myself when I open the door.
"Harry ?" I mumble totally caught off guard.

"Charlotte, thank god you're here" he sighs in relief and enters the room.
"Hanna called me. She said you were supposed to come back. She also said we have a lot to discuss. What happened ? What is she talking about ?"

I sigh. I wasn't ready to confront him now. But I know I'll have to do it, sooner or later.

"Fine. I went to your house on Saturday and I saw you leaving Louis's room, only wearing boxers "

"Is that why you left ? It doesn't make sense " he frowns. I hesitate but then take a deep breath and speak.

"I know it can sound crazy but... I think I'm your beard"

"What ?" His face distorts and he snaps his head towards me.

"I mean... I think you're not really in love with me. You just use me to hide your relationship with Louis." I sound so insane

"Seriously ? Is this really the way you see me ? Thanks for trusting me, really I appreciate it" he snaps

"I've always believed in Larry, and you and him are closer than ever. You said in an interview that something was happening with the two of you, then you don't keep in touch with me during the week and when you finally decide to do it, you're laid down in your bed with Louis next to you. And then, there are those pictures of you and him in the magazine and yesterday you were in his room with only your boxers on" I sit on the edge of my bed and take my head in my hands, sighing. He doesn't answer a few seconds before shouting.

"Fuck ! Seriously ? Is there some kind of jealousy between you and Louis ? The fans and the media really brainwashed you. I can't believe you're doubting the fact that I love you. So you just came to blame me for using you ?"

"No, at the beginning I came because I needed to assure myself that nothing was going on between you and Louis and also because I told myself that I should fight for you. For us. I know our relationship won't be easy because you're Harry Styles and I'm just a simple and insecure student who has a lot of difficulties to ignore the rumours and the criticisms. I know there will always be the Larry thing and I know that I won't be able to follow you on tour. I'll probably be hurt but I told myself that our relationship could worth all the negativity. Maybe it won't work for us but I'm ready to go through anything to try. That's what I thought when I came back. But then I saw you getting out of his room and I panicked. I doubted again so I left. I'm sorry" I drop my gaze to the floor, not being able to look at him in the eyes anymore. I feel so ashamed of what I told him about Larry, so ashamed that I doubted him.

He remains quiet for a long time before stepping twisted me and speaking in a low voice

"Don't be sorry. You're right. I'm the one who's sorry "

"What ?" I snap and raise my head to him. His harsh gaze meets mine and he says what I hope he would never say.

"You're right, I don't love you. I love Louis. You're just a simple beard that I manipulated to hide my homosexuality. You will never be more than this. When I came here I had understood that you had figured it out, but after what you've just said I think you don't deserve to suffer and be manipulated for someone that doesn't even want you."

"You.. You.." I stand up totally stunned and caught off guard. I feel my eyes watering and sadness and anger taking over me.

"I don't love you Charlotte. You're just a stupid fan naive enough to think that I'd ever care about you."

"How could you do that ? How can you treat people like that ? I thought you were respectful ! This is low Harry, very low. You disgust me ! I hate you ! I can't believe I spent the last two years of my life to love someone who's actually a total and selfish asshole !" My cheeks are soaked with tears as I shout. I'm so mad and him and so disappointed that I trusted him. Right now I hate him but I also hate myself for being so naive.

"I'm sorry I-" he steps closer and grabs my arm.

"Don't !" I jerk away" You played with my feelings ! You took advantage of the fact that I was a poor little and stupid fan to manipulate me !"
He steps closer again.

"Just go" I sigh sobbing, but he doesn't move and stares at me biting his lip.
"I said leave this fucking room and leave me alone !

He finally turns around, walks away and slams the door.
I burst into tears and break down on the floor.