Different

Chapter 43

Harry is alive.

I gulp and my jaw falls open as tears run down my cheeks. He's alive. It takes me some time to take in the news and I sit, shaken by all these emotions. I can't handle anything more, it's too much for me.

"Can I see him ?"

"Yes, but he's in a deep coma. The doctor said that the chance of him he waking up is very little. But at least he's alive."

"Oh" I try to hide my deception. Anyway, the bullet hit him right in the chest, it's obvious that if he wasn't dead, then he would fall into a coma.

"C'mon, I'll lead you to him" Zayn offers and holds me his arm so I can lean on him. We walk down the corridor until we arrive in front of a room, quite similar to mine. The door is open and I can see Louis and Liam next to the bed where Harry is laying. He still looks so beautiful  but so... lifeless. His skin is pale and soft, his eyes are closed and some curls of his hair have falling onto his peaceful face. I step towards him, shyly and slowly, as if I was seeing him for the first time and Louis and Liam leave the room, giving me a little smile. Once I'm alone, I step closer to Harry and put my hand on his. I shiver at the coldness of his body. I carefully lean towards him and put a small kiss on his forehead. He looks so weak that it feels like I might break him as I touch him.

"Babe" I whisper through his hair. "I don't know if you can hear me, but some people say that when someone is in the coma, they can still hear what you' re saying."

I run my fingers over his face and wipe away my tears which fall on his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Harold. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was supposed to die and you weren't supposed to come after me. But I don't blame you for it. I can't blame you for being such a caring and generous person" I smile at these last words. "Thank you though, for not letting me down. I don't think I deserved your help after everything I put you through but still, thanks. As you know, I didn't mean for anything of this to happen. And I didn't mean everything I said either. Even when you came to the park and I pushed you away. My feelings for you haven't changed and I don't love you as an idol. I have true feelings for you. The only reason I pushed you away at the park was, as you said it, to protect you, but you can be so stubborn sometimes"

I giggle between two sobs and make a pause.

"I have no idea what will happen next and I hope we can have a future together because I'm so in love with you Harry. Every second I spend with you makes me fall for you even more. Even if we're fighting or if I'm pushing you away, just being with you, listening to your voice and your stupid jokes and seeing your beautiful smile lighting up your face is enough for me to fall harder in love with you."

I make a pause and wipe away the stream of tears that are running down my face. With every tear that drops I can only wonder if I will ever stop crying.

"You really love him, don't you ?"

I jump hearing the voice from behind. I turn around to see Harry's mum leant against the wall. I didn't notice she was here. I blush, embarrassed that she heard my little speech but look up at her and force a smile.

"Oh yes I do. You have no idea how much I love your son."

"Sure I do. I'm glad he found someone like you."

I pause and lock my gaze into hers. I hesitate before continuing.

"You... You don't hate me ? You're not mad at me ?"

"Of course not sweetie ! Why would I ?" She frowns and steps closer to me.

"Well, I did this" I say pointing to the curly boy, laid down on his bed, whose life is only living by the help of these machines " And I broke his heart and put him through hell"

"Don't blame yourself for what happened love, it's not your fault. Everything you did was to protect other people, which proves that you're a good person. You maybe didn't succeed to save Harry but you saved Niall, Liam, Zayn and Louis's life, and you know how much this means to him."

Her words reassure me and the tears finally stop. I give her a little smile before she pulls me into a hug.

"Aw, enough crying okay ? Harry's gonna be fine as long as he has you."

"He will always have me. My heart is forever his"

"Good, good" She pulls back and smiles to me before leading me outside of the room.

"C'mon, let's get you something to eat. The boys are at the cafeteria."

I nod and follow her down the corridor. When we enter the cafeteria, Liam stands up from his chair and heads towards me, Louis behind him.

"Feeling better ?" He asks, pulling me into a small hug.

"Yes, thanks"

"Do you want to eat something ?"

I turn towards Louis and nod.

"Yes, I'm starving and I can't remember the last time I actually had something in my stomach"

He walks away and comes back a few minutes later, a butter croissant in his hand. He knows there are my favourites. I thank him and we go sit with Zayn and Niall.