Lavender | Wakatoshi Ushijima

13 | Reoccurring Thoughts

It's becoming harder and harder to keep up my act. The happy one.

It feels as though the world around me is shrinking.

There's this indescribable darkness taking everything away and leaving nothing behind.

Though, there is something temporarily keeping the darkness away. It's the will I have not to fall apart. Or to show it.

That and the distractions I've put up for myself as obstacles. I've been mainly trying to distract myself from my stress about the poetry competition and the upcoming specialist appointment. Doing extra work, baking, cleaning, writing, but the most effective is going to practice with Kiyo.

"What're you writing Hana?"

"A little piece of poetry."

"Ooo, what about?" Kiyo said as she took a seat next to me on the little bleachers in the gym across from the volleyball net.

"Flowers."

"That sounds interesting. Can I see it?"

"Alright!" I handed her the notebook.

"You should definitely add a simile here in the third stanza! It'll make it more interesting."

"That's perfect! Just what I needed."

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Author's POV:

Coach Washijo has been noticing some streaks in Ushijima's spikes. They aren't as lined up as usual. The team has an important tournament coming up soon, he was planning on telling the team about it today. Seeing his play, Coach didn't have it.

"Ushijima! Line up your shots, I won't tolerate any inefficiency!"

"Yes sir."

Ushijima then began working on his speed reaction drill, stressed.

Hana took notice of Coach Washijo's note.

She didn't take too much time to think of it. She gathered her belongings and packed her stuff.

That's when she received a message from her father, asking about her whereabouts.

I'm with my friend at school. On my way home now. She sent hurriedly.

She went up to Kiyomi, tapping her shoulder.

"Kiyo, I need to go. Father's home earlier than usual."

"You should get home Hana! I'll see you tomorrow!" Kiyo said while waving her goodbye.

Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she said her goodbyes to Kiyomi and the team.

She made her way home. Only to greet her father, go up to her room, take her pills, and study.

In the meantime, practice was still going.

Semi Eita was still working on his setting skills with Wakatoshi spiking his sets. Coach Washijo's anger was heating up with every spike Wakatoshi slammed. This one was the final straw.

Wakatoshi's spike wasn't exactly precise which hit Coach Washijo's final nerve.

"Wakatoshi! Get over here now!"

Ushijima could see the smoke that was flaring out of his ears as he silently walked over to his angered coach.

Without hesitation, Coach Washijo let out all his anxiety and anger on the boy.

"You call that a spike? That was ridiculous!"

Still silent, he didn't dare make eye contact.

"We have a tournament coming up and if I ever see a sloppy hit like that, you're benched! You hear me?!"

"Yes sir."

"You need to do better!" He scolded.

"I'm sorry."

"You've had enough practice for today, head home." He said in pure disappointment, crossing his arms.

Wakatoshi's head was heating up, he was glad to go.

He talked to no one. It was more that the gym went silent. There were no words at all.

He took his bag and clothes and swiftly left. Feeling utterly disappointed in his wasted efforts, he only blamed himself.

But no one knew he wouldn't be back for a few days.

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Hana's POV:

"Coach Washijo absolutely blew up on him! The whole gym went silent for 5 minutes!"

Kiyo and I were talking over the phone.

"What? Why?"

"From what the Reon told me, his spike wasn't precise and he went berserk on him because of it."

"What did he tell him?"

I know that Wakatoshi will be crushed if he said something that scars.

"I don't remember much but the last thing he said was that he needs to be better. He even sent him home!" She imitated his tone.

"That's just cruel."

"To be honest, I have a feeling Ushijima isn't as efficient right now because he isn't doing well."

My stomach sunk.

"What do you mean?"

"From the signs his face is showing, he seems a bit sick actually. He seemed a bit pale."

"That's terrible!"

I need to talk to Wakatoshi, I know he's not going easy on himself right now.

"Oh uh Father's calling me from downstairs! I'll talk to you later Kiyo."

"Okay! Night."

"Goodnight."

I'm not someone who lies. Sometimes I do but not this quickly. I needed an excuse to get to him.

That's when I immediately opened the messages app and opened his name.

Wakatoshi, it's me, Hana. I heard about the incident. How are you feeling?

I typed as fast as possible. I really hope he responds. I can't go to his home right now, this late. I don't even know where it is.

As an overthinker, it's only possible for me to think of each and every possibility of what he's doing right now and what happened to him. Right?

Maybe he didn't get home, what if he got hurt, a car crash? Okay that's just irrational.

God, calm down Hana!

I ended up resorting to another one of my distractions. Writing.

I went back into my beautiful bundle of thought of what to write about for my poem.

In that moment, I was inspecting every corner of my pencil on the desk. The little specs of dust, the shadow it made, the colors and indents.

In that moment, my vision went fuzzy and my head felt weird for a split second.

What was that?

I didn't think anything of it. I just shook my head and continued to sink deeper into my thoughts about the poem and Wakatoshi.

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Author: Super excited for the coming chapters XD