Lavender | Wakatoshi Ushijima

36 | Dial

My mind was ready to forfeit this torturous game. My eyes were getting heavier. My phone was closer, but I had given up.

Then, it rang.

I was almost limp. Yet still, I reached out with my remaining power and took the vibrating object into my failing grip. I saw that it was an unknown number and suddenly wanted to answer. Maybe they'll be the last person who's ever heard my pathetic voice. With my index finger, I answered and held it in my quaking right hand.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Hello. Is this Hana Takahashi?" The voice spoke.

"Yes," I whispered again. It was Mrs. Ito's voice.

"Hana, is everything okay?"

"Yes," Liar.

"I'm sorry for reaching your number but I need to check in on you. You don't sound okay, is there anything going on? I'm here, you can talk to me."

I heard her reassurance in that little gap of time and knew that time was running away. She was the last person to reach out to me, so she deserves to hear something kind. I continued to whisper.

"You're not just a teacher, Mrs. Ito."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your class was like another home to me, full of hope, comfort, safety."

"Was?" She sounded worried.

"I loved your class." I laughed a little.

"Hana, you're scaring me." Her voice shook.

"Thank you for checking in."

"What's going on?" She asked, but I kept going.

I felt tired, so tired. I fell scared, panicking. I knew this was my last call.

"Hana." She spoke sternly.

"Please, Mrs. Ito." I began to cry, my head laying against the carpet.

"What is it, my dear?" 

"I know you're in pain, trust me I know. But please, you have to tell me. Don't do this. Don't do this to yourself."

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Tell me."

"I've been getting sicker and no one knows, I've shut myself out and now it's too late. No one can hear me, Mrs. Ito. My parents aren't here and I'm all alone in this house on the floor and I can't stand up. It's not working. But I tried, I tried, Mrs. Ito. All I've ever wanted was to hear them tell me they love me, and that I've done enough. But god knows I tried. I can't breathe. I don't want to die, Mrs. Ito. Please." I gasped, desperately.

"It's not too late, I can hear you." Her voice shook.

"But it is," I said, trailing off.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" I gasped again.

"No, you won't. You have to trust me!"

"You're the last person to hear me, and I'm grateful. I'm content, I am."

"Hana, you'll be okay. Hang on a little longer." She said.

"If you find me dead, don't cry. Don't shed a tear. I don't deserve your tears. Please don't tell anyone about this, I can't afford to burden more people with my problems. I've burdened my parents enough with my illnesses. But now, I can rest. Isn't that great, Mrs. Ito?" I calmed down.

"Listen to me." She exclaimed, and I heard an engine in the background.

"I've lost so much weight, Mrs. Ito. I can't recognize who I see in the mirror. I can't recognize myself. I think I hit my head when I fell." My voice spoke, lower.

"Dear, tell me what has been happening."

"I think I forgot to take my pills. My head is always spinning. God, it's spinning right now." I ached.

"Can I tell you something?" I whispered.

"Anything." She sniffled.

"I love Wakatoshi. Can you tell him that? Tell him to keep going. I'll be cheering him on from the sidelines, just as I always have. Tell him he has my heart, even though it may not be the one he wants. Tell him I love him. Please, Mrs. Ito." 

I managed to hold a thin smile.

She called my name, trying to hold herself together. I could no longer respond. I was out.
As my hearing muffled, she said my name louder and louder. I felt my head spin and I could barely breathe. My vision was weird and I felt my eyes sting and tear up again. My body was cold, as the window was still open. I shivered against the carpet. I felt a weak ripple of sorrow in my chest, I had no power to feel anything. I expected to see my life flash before my eyes, but it's all a lie. All I could imagine was the expression of my Mother and her voice, coming back to haunt me. 

Before I could count another breath, the world went q u i e t.

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Author: idk i kinda ate with this 💅

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