Lavender | Wakatoshi Ushijima

26 | Honor

"Welcome home." I greeted my parents as they walked through the front door coming home from a business trip. With only my father's response, I immediately looked around to see if there was anything unpleasant around me that could upset Mother.

When there was nothing, I figured she was lost in thought or had a bad encounter during her trip, causing her not to respond. Maybe she was upset with the way I was dressed, my tone perhaps? Regardless, I didn't think that much of it.

We sat in our usual manor at the dinner table and ate a meal in silence. There was something nagging me to break the thread of silence that only allowed our mouthes to open when we ate. I wanted to start a conversation about work, school, grades, but I knew it wasn't the right time, it never was. There was courage mounting to make conversation with my family so I could impress it upon myself that we're normal, united, pure. I wanted us to converse like how Kiyo does with either of her parents. That mounting came to a stop when I remembered that it's arrogant to speak of my grades at the dinner table. They already knew and expected that I'm a top student, so why speak of it? Though, I'd been longing to tell them how I'm entering a competition, my grades are the highest, and how I'm going to honor our family and banish shame from ever coming near.

In the end, Mother finished her food and went to her office while my father and I were left alone. I felt a release of tension, so I began to speak.

"Father?" I said, putting a piece of steak into my mouth.

"Yes, Hana?"

"Were you a volleyball player when you went to Shiratorizawa? The coach, Coach Washijo, told me you were a setter back then and he taught you as well."

"That's true."

"Looks like you were a great player if your intelligence was the chain that tied the team together. Those were his exact words."

"Don't be too surprised. I was a clever one, like you. Our family has some of the most intelligent and intuitional figures, so it's no wonder we turned out like them."

I was very interested at this point.

"Really? Like who?"

"My great-grandfather."

"His name was Satoshi Takahashi. I recall my father telling me of how he was the one that started the company. He was very scientific minded. Being from a family of teachers wasn't easy, but he had dreams. He moved away for several years to study. When he came back to Sendai, he started our technology corporation and lent a hand in the development of the area."

"Wow."

"What's known about him, and now about you, is that he was witty. That's how he got his investors and boosted his career, he intrigued them with deals and tactics they couldn't refuse. He was basically a social mastermind," he smiled, a spark in his eye.

"Your intelligence is your crown, Hana, it can give you more than beauty can ever offer. Wear it and keep your head high."

"I will." I put my plate in the sink and headed to my room.

I went up to my room, closed the door and sat at my desk. I didn't know why, but sitting in silence was more than enough. There were so many burdens on my shoulders. Wakatoshi's success, my decision, my future, my medicine and health, everything was pushing me down. I never expected that by age eighteen I would be taking two doses of pills every day while juggling school work and my parent's expectations.

The sentiments in my heart led my hand to hold the frame sitting on my desk, a photo that immediately made me vulnerable. It was a photo of myself as a little kid, around the age of 8, holding an academic achievement certificate. It was a photo next to Kiyo and Mother, I had a genuine smile on my face, from ear to ear. I was standing in my little school uniform with only the brightest colors beneath my skin. I looked truly happy and healthy, a pure child.