THE RECORD SHOP ⋆ 𝗱𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝗵𝗹

thirty nine

JANUARY 20, 1992. SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.

AFTER SPENDING SOME weeks in New York with Rolling Stone filing away paperwork, getting coffees, and assisting on stories, Evie finally finds herself back at home. Dave is also home in Seattle for some time until he leaves for tour in the Pacific, in Australia, New Zealand, Japan, and Hawaii.

Evie is dreading saying goodbye to Dave again for another month or so. Not being able to actually be with Dave makes it so much harder for Evie to remember how good it is when they're together. She felt so lucky to be able to spend time with him in New York, but she has also been caught up in her head thinking about how she's going to be mostly spending this year alone. Looking at Nirvana's tour schedule for the year, it looks as if there is going to be at least two months they don't get to be together. Also, with Evie being over in New York it is hard to tell how much they are going to be able to see each other even when she is home.

The more Evie considers the year ahead, the more scared she is for her relationship with Dave. At the moment she isn't sure how she is going to cope with spending another year like she did last year, a year alone, a year of waiting for Dave to return home.

She feels lucky to wake up next to Dave this morning after flying in late last night, however the thoughts about the future have been plaguing her mind. Evie has found that whenever Dave is about to leave on tour, he becomes painfully distant. When he picked her up from the airport last night, he didn't have much to say, and when they got home, they just went straight to bed. It's as if it's the way Dave copes with the fact that they're going to be apart for so long, he starts becoming detached early to make the goodbye easier. Like when you start pulling away when you know a relationship is about to end. In all honesty, it makes Evie feel like shit, like he doesn't care that he won't be seeing her for over a month.

It especially hurts after how happy they were to be together in New York. It all just feels so up and down, and Evie can feel her heart aching. She lays awake in bed next to Dave, but keeps her eyes shut. She's enjoying not having to worry about whether or not Dave is going to be loving or distant today, as long as he is asleep.

The next day isn't any better, Dave gets out of bed and goes to have a shower without even saying good morning. Evie can hear him out in the kitchen boiling water from where she lays in bed. She decides to go and try to talk to him, to try to work this out.

"Good morning," she says, walking out into the living area.

"Morning," Dave says, pouring water into the french press and not bothering to turn to look at Evie.

"How was it being able to sleep back at home?" She asks, trying to make conversation. She knows what she means when she asks is really how do you feel being back at home with me.

"Yeah, good," he says bluntly.

Evie bites her tongue, willing herself not to take his tone personally, but she can't help herself.

"Why do you have to get like this before you leave for tour?" Evie sighs, rubbing her palms against her eyes.

"Like what?" Dave says sharply, still not facing her.

"You get so distant, it makes me feel like you couldn't care less about leaving," she says.

"Oh, I'm the distant one, okay Evie," Dave finally turns around with his arms crossed.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Evie asks.

Dave groans, "I don't want to have this conversation."