blind star // txt taegyu

stay tonight

Night fell, and Beomgyu found himself unable to sleep. Taehyun was fast asleep beside him, and even if cuddling his boyfriend was definitely a solution to his sudden insomnia, he just couldn't manage to make himself fall asleep. He knew it was touching 1am, and he had been struggling to fall asleep since 11pm. Beomgyu eventually sighed to himself before sitting up, wondering if he could just wander the halls of Anti-Entropy.

Beomgyu stood up, looking out the window of the home chamber he had taken as his room while he was a trainee at Anti-Entropy. The main building was not too far from where he was, but he wondered if he'd trigger alarms or security guards would shoot him unprovoked, thinking he was a trespasser. However, that seemed unlikely, seeing as staff still wandered the halls on their own accord.

He used the guest keycard he had been given by Minseon and left the room, making sure not to have his hood over his head so that he didn't seem suspicious. He bowed to the various lab coat-clad staff and they greeted back with less enthusiasm — probably due to being made to work late.

Beomgyu saw the door to his testing chamber, frowning when he saw a slightly ajar door further down the corridor. Hearing Soobin's voice made him even more curious. He couldn't help but slowly walk towards the observation office of the unmarked testing chamber, his curiosity clearly getting the best of him — and it proved to be worthwhile.

"I-I feel strange, Aunt… please, I'm begging you — regulate me."

"Regulation won't do much," another voice added on solemnly. "We have to prepare for the worst. You might be the strongest Pseudo Herrscher in creation, and the core awakening could have irreparable damage on society."

"Regulation would keep the core under control, wouldn't it?"

"Your will is stronger than any Eden chamber we have. If you're allowing the core to awaken because of the Herrscher's words, people will die. You're not a murderer, Soobin. My sister didn't raise a murderer."

"Aunt…"

"It wasn't Taehyun speaking to you, anyways. It was the Herrscher of the Star. Taehyun isn't a murder, or a killer, or a bad guy. His Herrscher core is equipped with the capabilities of mass destruction. Of course, as many accomplices to aid that goal is ideal. Regulation wouldn't work on him, either — his will and instinct are different from a Scher and a human."

"W-well… what about me, then? Am I different?"

"Undoubtedly so, but that's okay. It's natural to have concerns, especially about being a Pseudo Herrscher. You weren't made for office work, anyways. Of course, it's your strong suite, but… that core inside you will grow more violent if you suppress it."

"I don't want to end up killing people…"

"You won't kill anyone, Soobin — as long as you withstand that instinct. You're powerful, indeed, and we're very fortunate to have you, but… try your best."

"Okay… thank you, Aunt Minseon."

"It's not a problem at all, angel. Now come on, you have to rest. I'm on duty, so I have to leave soon."

"No, I… I have to analyse the Pseudo Herrscher of Binding's data a bit more. I think I can figure out why he doesn't have a physical style yet."

"Oh, fantastic. Don't head to bed too late, I guess. I have to see agent Q now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Beomgyu forgot he had been listening in on a conversation and when the door was suddenly pushed open and Minseon revealed herself, Beomgyu became flustered as he could barely explain himself. "I— uhm uh…"

"It's fine," Minseon said with a small smile. "Curiousity is natural. Get to bed, child."

Beomgyu simply bowed politely as she walked off, her high heels clacking against the floor loudly. Her presence was strong and bold — Beomgyu found it admirable. Beomgyu contemplated walking into the room, but Soobin exited instead. "Beomgyu."

"You're still awake, I see," Beomgyu commented as he walked forward. Soobin nodded, his expression barely masking the discomfort behind it. "Uhm… are… are you okay? Did you get everything off your chest?"

"I mean, except the pseudo core inside me, yes," Soobin offered with a joking tone. He suddenly chuckled, looking down at the ground. "Who am I kidding…? I knew I shouldn't have become a Pseudo Herrscher. I didn't need or want that power."

"Can I ask why you got the implant, then?" Beomgyu asked. "I mean, I got it for survival. I'd be dead without it. So why did you become a Pseudo?"

Soobin seemed unsure of how to answer, as if he didn't know either. "I… can't say. I have the Rimestar core fragment within me, which is why I can just barely use ice as a passive style. I've managed to access the fragment, but… it's not my Herrscher title."

"What can you do, exactly?"

Soobin suddenly tensed, pressing his lips together as he shook his head. "That's enough, stop milking confidential information out of me. You're not approved to know any of this. If you want to know anything further, ask Au— uhm, Captain Durandal, or Minseon."

"I know you're related."

"She told me not to call her 'aunt' around commons or colleagues. I'm to call her Durandal or Minseon."

"Oh." Beomgyu had a sheepish smile on his lips to help Soobin relax, and it seemed to work. "Taehyun doesn't mean his words, okay? He's… my favourite person. My angel. He would… never hurt anyone. Sometimes it seems like his words could mean something malicious, but… it's not like he wants to be like that. I'm sure he's okay with being a good guy."

"Beomgyu, what is a good guy?" Soobin asked suddenly. "Are you good if you fight for humans? Defend them? Or are you good for being a Scher by ignoring the instinct to hurt anyone? A Scher needs to consume human souls for survival. Why do you think my core is reacting? It's hungry, and it won't settle. You'll turn out the same way. What then? Are you suddenly a bad guy, despite always co-operating with humans?"

"Of course not — it's beyond you. You tried your best."

"That's how Taehyun feels right now," Soobin added. "He wants to be the 'good guy', but Herrscher instinct is worse. With you no longer being human, his drive to protect the human race has disappeared. His favourite person is just like him — a monster. So why protect what he doesn't care about?"

Beomgyu was quiet as his mind rushed with thoughts. Soobin seemed to make his final point and turned around, walking down thr corridor. Beomgyu was lost in his thoughts, and with what they just spoke about, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep.

"Am I even a good guy…?"