The Road to Paradise

identity

why do I always question my identity?
why do I not know who I am?
why don't I see anything clearly?
why is my head always stuck in the sand?

I'm sinking and shrinking,
but I'm still growing in size.
I hate all this thinking,
I hate all the lies.
I hate that my body refuses to feed,
I hate that I can't ever find what I need.

I hate that I feel like I'm not one of a kind,
I know what I want
and I won't change my mind.
so many morons think that they know what's best-
have a baby,
it will save me-
I was made to be vessel,
but I'll fill it with blood.

I am a robot
I do what I'm told.
I can change all my settings
to suit the occasion,
but when my battery's dead
I'm imprisoned to an outlet on a wall.
I fake all my expressions
because I want to seem normal,
but I guess that means nobody knows me at all.

I'm fading away,
and I have no personality.
I can be perfect today,
but tonight I'll cry myself to sleep.