I'm slightly embarrassed,
If someone searched my history
They'd be shaking their head,
Misspelled avacada three times-
I needed yahoo answers to help me open the avocoda so I could spread it on my stupid fucking bread.
I scrolled through google looking for yahoo,
But by the time I realized that yahoo answers has been gone for a million years
My toasted bread was soggy,
And I was not gonna waste a good ovacodo on a fat floppy pile of gluten
I left the bread in the back of the fridge cause I was too lazy to toast it again,
But I still complained to my mom-
"Mom there's no food can we get pizza I'll buy"
She said "there's food in the fridge" and I cried.
Yahoo screwed me over-
It wasn't my fault,
And in defiance I went to work on an empty stomach
Then the world started spinning,
And people kept on asking me dumbass questions-
"Can you tell me if this is on sale even though there is no sale sign in front of it and you already told me everything in this section is regular price?"
"Can I use a coupon on clearance?"
"Can you tell me the price of every single item I'm buying even though there are two very visible price check locations in the store?"
My eye was twitching my smile was crooked and my coworkers could tell,
You're not yourself when you're hungry-
Here,
Have a
30 minute break that you'll hopefully be able to take if there's time.
And when there isn't time then you better watch out,
I said "if another idiot comes up to me then I'm out"
Because yahoo fucked me over-
I was too damn hungry and my tummy was working overtime
When I got home
I hoped that everyone was already asleep,
Because I seriously hate it when people watch me eat.
I hung my head in shame and doordashed a feast,
Leave it at my door so my parents won't wake up thinking that I'm sneaking out to go do drugs,
Or sneaking out and getting fucked-
I mean hugged-
Wasting my life on boys,
Or robbing a bank-
That's not really me,
But my parents are ashamed.
It's okay, I hate me too
But none of this would have happened
If I could've only eaten my avocda bread,
So if you ever wonder
"Damn what's wrong with her?"
"What happened,
Why is she so weird?"
Honestly
I blame yahoo answers.
YOU ARE READING
The Road to Paradise
PoetryThis book has a bunch of poems that have bits and pieces of my life in them. I write whatever comes to mind, and it usually makes sense. But everything has a hidden meaning. Of course, some of it is random, but it all comes together (plus I like to...
