Kids

13. Lost without you

Mew sat in the car, his eyes focussed on the front, hoping to see the hospital within sight.

All he could think about is Gulf. Everything else falls away.

He no longer hears the cars speeding down the road. He couldn't notice the cold rain, the lightning that flashed ominously across the sky, the thunder that boomed overhead.

The storm mirrored his current state of emotions. Turbulent, chaotic, disordered.

Closing his eyes, Mew let out a shaky sigh. He fiddled with the ring Gulf gave him subconsciously.

He didn't remember being that scared in his life. The closest being when he raced to the surgical room to see Alcina.

He probably was never ever that scared in his life. Because he never lost something or someone he couldn't live without.

The thought of losing Gulf, permanently, made him want to scream.

And that was just the beginning. The thought of Gulf no longer being in his life made it worse. If that was even possible.

He never felt so helpless.

-----

The three didn't wait for the lift. They ran up the stairs to the VIP ward.

Once they reached the level where the ward was, Mew stood still, hesitating. While catching his breath, he slowly walked.

He was afraid. Afraid to see Gulf. Afraid to face the possibility that he might lose Gulf. That his life would no longer have Gulf in it.

Seeing a small boy sitting outside the ward, Mew knew immediately the boy was Bright.

Hearing fast footsteps, Bright looked up and saw Mew running towards him.

He got up from his seat, nearly falling in the process. Bright ran up to Mew as fast as his little legs could carry him, lips quivering.

"Daddy!"

Bright jumped into Mew's outstretched arms, clinging to Mew tightly like a koala. He wailed, his heartbreaking cries sounding throughout the hallway. The suppressed feelings exploded when he saw Mew.

In that moment, he was not Bright, the heir of the Vachirawit Traipipattanapong empire. He was just Bright, a seven year-old boy who is scared to lose his dad.

A tear trickled down Mew's face while he listened to Bright's cries. He had to be strong for Bright. But the cries were so sorrowful, piercing his heart.

He hugged the boy even tighter, swaying a little and patting his back in a soothing manner. Mew hummed a tune till Bright eventually dozed off, exhausted from crying and relaxed under Mew's touch.

"I will take care of him Mew. You may go in to see Gulf." Ming told Mew.

Mew nodded. Standing in front of the door, his hand hovered the handle. The feeling of trepidation gripped onto him.

After a few minutes of hesitation, Mew took a deep breath and opened the door.

Entering the room, a sharp pain coursed through his heart upon the sight before him.

Gulf was hooked up to multiple machines. He wore an oxygen mask, the only signs of life being his chest that moved up and down rhythmically as well as the beeping of the monitors.

Where the ceiling light shone on him, he was not ghostly like a white person, but subdued and greyish. Everywhere Mew's eyes landed on, he could see bandages. Gulf's head, his left cheek, his arm in a cast.

Mew gently caressed Gulf's right cheek. His eyes were closed, looking peaceful.

"H-how is his condition?" Mew's voice broke while he asked.

He knew it was necessary to know. Even though he doesn't want to and can already tell that it was bad.

"Mild concussion, three broken ribs and a fractured leg. He has several surface wounds, including his left cheek. Overall, he would live, albeit the serious injuries." Phana gave a brief summary.

"As for Beam, his injuries are lighter. He will wake up tomorrow." He informed Forth. Forth nodded, blankly staring at Beam.

Mew felt relief seep into him. Gulf will survive. Weakly collapsing into a chair, he thanked Phana softly.

He could tell that Phana was struggling to come to terms with Gulf's and Beam's injuries as well. Phana's suit that was always tidy is now disheveled. His tie was gone, the first few buttons left unbuttoned. His shirt was not tucked in, his sleeves rolled up hastily.

"We will shift them to the mansion before the reporters start to crowd here. Ming will bring you and Forth to your houses respectively to get whatever you need to stay at the mansion." Phana told Mew and Forth.

Mew looked over at Forth. He could see the distraught expression on Forth's face while he looked at Beam.

Forth placed his hand over Beam's, his heart slightly settled upon feeling how warm Beam's hand is.

He kissed Beam's forehead. "I will be back soon love."

-----

Entering his apartment, Mew switched on the lights.

Walking to his room, he went past the kitchen.

The kitchen reminded him of Gulf cooking breakfast just that morning.

Walking further, he walked past the living room.

The living room was where Gulf would sleep while Mew played with Bright. Gulf wants the first thing he sees when he wakes to be his son and beloved. Plus, he said that their laughter lulls him to sleep. So Gulf dozes off on the couch.

Reaching his room, Mew went to his wardrobe. Packing his items, he did a once over of his room and spotted Gulf's hoodie lying on the chair.

Gulf gave him the hoodie when Mew mentioned that he likes Gulf's scent. He said that it would help Mew relax when they miss each other but are too busy to meet.

Mew also spotted the sunflower wreath in the glass display case. The case was for his figurines. However, not wanting the wreath to collect dust, he placed it inside as well.

He had learnt from Bright that Gulf had personally made the bouquet. The elderly gardener had laughed at Gulf's clumsiness, Gulf cutting too little of the stem or too much of the wrapping paper.

Walking out of the apartment, Mew slumped against the door. He slowly sat down, head cast down. The memories were overwhelming.

He felt something wet drip onto his hands. Tears started trickling down his face without him realising.

Mew harshly wiped his tears with his sleeves. There was no Gulf to wipe his tears.

I cannot live without Gulf.

The thought kept surfacing in his mind. Thank goodness Gulf will be alright. But what if he wasn't?

That was when he realised how much he loves Gulf.

Love is a quiet emotion that in time becomes part of the oxygen you need to breathe, and so though you may feel not sure that it's there, any form of removal and the emotions begin to choke.

Mew knew he liked Gulf, but he wasn't sure whether he loved Gulf or not. The accident, the thought of Gulf being removed from his life, made his emotions begin to choke.

He looked up at the ceiling, his head against the door. A tear spilled from his shut eyes.

I wish I said it back to Gulf in the morning.

That I love him too. So very much.

A/N: Ah I didn't realise the chapter was short until I saw the word count. But I hope it expresses clearly Mew's thoughts and feelings.

Another one or two chapters will be updated tomorrow.