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BAU HOTTIES

HOTCH
Who changed the group name?
This one is not apropried, the other one was better. This is a professional group chat.

PENNY
I did it because we're all hot people
who work at the BAU ;)

DEREK
Omg Momma so clever of you fuck 🥵🥵🤰💦💦

EMILY
die

REID
I don't understand the meaning
of that much emojis.

YOU
It's better if you don't honey,
Derek is just dumb. Ignore him.

REID
Ok! :)

DEREK
Omg degradation, not in front
of the kids baby 🥵🥵🥵💦💦

YOU
go kys rn ☺️👎

HOTCH
The majority of us in this group chat is
older than her, what kids
are you referring to?

HOTCH
Also, y/n don't tell Derek to kill himself, we still haven't done the psychological evaluations.

EMILY
lol kam 😜

YOU
So true of you bestie MUAH 😘💋

ROSSI
What does kam mean?

JJ
Kill all men 😇

ROSSI
oh.

REID
:(

YOU
We'll let you live honey. Just you.

REID
:)))

HOTCH
pardon?

DEREK
OMG GUYS

DEREK
I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK! I NEED DEEZ! 😨😨😨😨

EMILY
BITCH NO YOU WOULDNT 😭😭😭

REID
Wait..

HOTCH
Reid I have a felling that you may not want to ask anything to Derek right now.

REID
Deez what?

YOU
NAHH FOULLLL 😭😭😭

DEREK
DEEZ NUTS IN YO MOUTH 🤪🤪🤪🥺🥵 AAAAAAAH

PENNY
Derek no, you know he doesn't understand internet jokes >:

JJ
Menace. Truly

EMILY
So true of you wifey 💃🏻😍

DEREK
...

DEREK
WhoIsGonnaSendMeTittiePics?
#🥵🥵🥵💦💦💦😍😍🤪🤪🤪

EMILY
Gonna have to agreed with
Mr.Blady this time 😜😜😜

REID
Wait. Emily do you also like woman?

YOU
The right question would be
"do you like men at all?"

EMILY
I don't 😜😜😜

DEREK
OKAY BESTIE GET THEM TITTIES
AHHHH 😜😜🤪🤪🤪🥵🥵🥵💦💦💦

JJ
YOU'RE A LESBIAN?

EMILY
Why is everyone so surprised 😞🙏🏻

JJ
WHY WASNT I INFORMED OF THIS WUATTHEFACK

YOU
Jayje calm your hormones down you horndog, don't make the fact that you wanna a taste of crocked bangs so obvious 🤨🤨🤨🙄🙄🙄

DEREK
HORNDOG 😟 NO BESTIE YOU'RE TOO FUNNY

REID
What would a horndog be?

HOTCH
...

YOU
Spence it's past your bed time,
go to sleep.

REID
It's three in the afternoon?

DEREK
Not Reid not listening to mommy y/n 😜😜😜 you can tell me what to do anytime 🥵🥵🥵 #iwannaseetitties

YOU
I quit.

HOTCH
No you don't.

DEREK
FUCK DADDY HOTCHIE WOTCHIE BEING DOMMINANTE AND SHIT 🥵🥵🥵💦💦💦🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼

HOTCH
...

HOTCH
what the fuck.

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