BAU HOTTIES
- 2:29am -
DEREK
Is anyone awakeeeeeeeeee
DEREK
...
DEREK
HELLO?
DEREK
THIS IS SO BALDPHOBIC OF YOU GUYS TO LEAVE ME TO SPEAKE ALONE IN THIS CRUSTY MUSTY GROUP CHAT. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 talk to me, pweatty pwease
YOU
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHORE
YOU
I WILL CUT YOUR HEAD OUT AND THROW IT IN THE WOODS 🖕🖕🖕🖕
YOU
I'LL PAINT YOUR DICK YELLOW AND USE IT AS A TRAFFIC SINAL YOU FUCKING MORON IDIOTIC BITCH 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
YOU
LET ME FUCKING SLEEP
FUCK YOU
EMILY
Y/N SNAPPED, JESUS 😭😭😭
HOTCH
Oh my god.
DEREK
...
DEREK
Baby girl you gonna let her speak to me like that? 😭😭🥺🥺🥺🤰🤰🤰☹️☹️☹️
PENNY
I love you my dear chocolate thunder, but my fear of angry y/n is too strong for me to do anything. I'm sorry :(
ROSSI
Understandble.
DEREK
Dang Baby girl 😭🥺🥺☹️☹️☹️
REID
I am scared.
JJ
Also understandble. The last time she was actually angry she destroyded that one unsub with her hands. Derek you're fucked 😘
YOU
GO TO SLEEP YOU FUCKING HORSE SHITS, FUCKING HUMAN GOLF BALLS, FUCKING X-MEN BALD ASS GUY
DEREK
NOT THE FUCKING HUMAN GOLF BALLS 😭😭😭😭😭 FOULLL
YOU
You got something to say Mr. Shiny Head?
EMILY
NOT MR. SHINY HEAD YOU A MENACE TODAY BESTIE WHAT THE HELL 😭😭😭
YOU
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP
PLEASE I BEG YOU
DEREK
Damn baby girl never had you for the submissive type 🥵🥵🥵🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼💦💦💦 #submissiveandbretablley/n
YOU
That's it.
EMILY
YOU TOOK AN L MORGAN
DEREK
NO Y/N STOP WHTA ARIE UOU DOING 😨😨😨😨
YOU
I AM GLING TO CUT YOUR DICK OUT AND PUT IT IN A FUCKING JAR
DEREK
...
DEREK
FUCK.. kinda hot tho 🥵🥵🥵🥵💦💦💦💦🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼😨😍😍😍😍
EMILY
Piss kink energy.
YOU
So true bestie 💋
DEREK
NAH WAHTE THE FACK I DONT HAVE A PISZ KINK WHAT THE HELL EW FUCK YOU 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭
HOTCH
Sounds like something a piss kinker
would say.
EMILY
NAAH WHAT 💀💀💀
JJ
YOU GUYS BROKE HOTCH.
- 7:10am -
PENNY
Goodmorning loves of my life! ❤️😆
DEREK
Morning baby girl 😘😘😘🤰
EMILY
Goodmorning Penny, Derek kys
HOTCH
Stop treatening him, he likes it.
DEREK
So true of you 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 DILF HOTCHIE POO FUCK 💦💦💦🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼🥵🥵🥵💋💋💋
HOTCH
Do not call me that ever again.
ROSSI
What is a "dilf"?
REID
^
EMILY
ugh old people 🙄🙄🙄#takeoldpeopleoutoftheinternet
REID
I'm not old?!
EMILY
and? Go eat your chicken nuggets or smt then😒😒😒
DEREK
...
DEREK
Y/n? 🥺🥺🥺
YOU
what.
DEREK
What're you doing my unicorn fairy goddess hibrid princess baby girly? 🥺🥺😘😘😘🧐
YOU
Fucking your mother👎🏻
Miss ma'am be on
my nuts ALL DAY😮💨🤤🤤🤤
DEREK
...
EMILY
NAH YOU DIDNT SO TRUE OF YOU BESTIE 😭😭😭
YOU
Lol just kidding I was crying while listening to Taylor Swift.
HOTCH
Why were you crying? Is there something wrong? Did someone hurt you?
DEREK
NAH I'LL BEAT HIS ASS FOR YOU PRETTY GIRL 🤬🤬🤬
EMILY
I'LL CUT HIS DICK OUT
YOU
It's ok I was crying over Tony Stark's death.
REID
😭 <- this is a sad emoticon because Anthony Stark death was very sad.
YOU
So true Spence.
PENNY
He's learning 🥰
ROSSI
...
ROSSI
I still don't understand what a dilf is.
