HOPELESS LOVE [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 20

Shasha

"Shasha..." his voice, it was enough to make me feel safe, I was holding his t-shirt way too tight, I had no intention of letting him go, "Seungcheol, li-lights. I'm sca-scared, pl-please don't lea-leave me", I wanted comfort, for now, and nothing else. It's been a while since I had that dream, it felt so real and it felt like I was experiencing it again.

He caressed my hair and hugged me back, his arms wrapped securely around me, "let me switch it on," I was even scared to open my eyes, he was holding me in his embrace, my breathing got a bit even. I could feel his breathing and his heartbeat, I felt safe. "lights are on, open your eyes, it's fine Shasha... it's okay, everything's okay, you're safe" I was trying to calm down, "I'm here, you're with me Shasha... it's okay." He was caressing my back softly. "don't cry, I'm here."

"you had a bad dream?" his voice was softer than usual, I nodded in his embrace. "It's all good now, so don't worry. Open your eyes, lights are on." I removed my hands slowly and opened my eyes. The brightness was back, lights were on. I took a step back and almost stumbled because I was nervous, Seungcheol held my arm stopping me from falling.

"be careful Shasha" he was facing me, I looked at him, trying not to admit how scared I was, when I woke up and how badly I want to cry again because that one nightmare was one of the reason why I'm more scared of darkness and only Jeonghan knows it, even Soobin is not aware of this.

He took me towards the bed, and made me sit on the bed. I saw him giving me a glass of water, "drink this" I took the glass, and my hands were shaking, very badly. I wanted to stop myself from shaking, he kept his hands on mine, they were warm. "Drink this and you will feel better" I nodded and drank water. He took the glass and kept it on the table, that was beside the bed.

I felt a bit relieved, he sat beside me. "Shasha... you had a nightmare?" I avoided his gaze and looked down; I nodded, I wanted to tell him everything just to feel better "and about lights... I thought I will wake you up for dinner and lights won't disturb you when you're sleeping. That's why I switched off the lights, and I received a call from Secretary Hwang that he is outside my room, so I went out to talk to him." I nodded in response.

"After he left, I opened the door and heard your voice"

"I had a nightmare, a nightmare I don't usually get but when I get it, it scares me all over again. And... I've nyctophobia... and... I-I

"It's okay Shasha, don't be scared now, I'm here" I looked at him, he looked like my comfort. "Also do you feel better now?" I realized my cramps were getting better, I felt better than earlier. I nodded. I was about to thank him, and his phone started ringing, he picked up the call. "yes, please tell them to send my and Shasha's dinner and you go have fun with her"

"Don't worry about her, she's okay. You sister needs some rest for now so that she can have fun tomorrow."

"Now go, I'm hanging up" he kept the phone on the table, "Jeonghan called me, our dinner will come soon."

"I could tell that it was Jeonghan from the way you were talking that it was Jeonghan. Hope he will enjoy tonight, Byeol was upset earlier in the morning" I looked at him, as soon as I realized what I spoke. My eyes widen, "she was upset?" I denied, one part of me wanted to tell him but then I was hesitating, and eventually I gave up. "Yes" I sighed, "because of Ms. Lee and I hope everything's better now"

He smiled at me, "everything's fine now, he seems to be enjoying everything. I could tell this from his voice.", I smiled at that thought. "good for them" I smiled again. we heard the door bell, I was about to get up, he held my hand and pulled back, "stay here, I will go"

After few minutes, he came back, he was a holding a big tray. He kept it on the table, which was near the window, "dinner time, so come here and eat" he called me to sit on the sofa. I walked to the other side of the bed "or do you want to sit on the bed?" I shook my head, "I'm coming".

After dinner, I went back to sit on the bed. Slowly I could feel my pain again, I could tell that I looked pathetic, because of the pain. I looked at the window, it looked so tempting, and I wanted to go out so bad but I was feeling tired and this feeling sucks right now. I wanted to get rid of this feeling. "What's wrong?" he walked towards me and asked. "I want to go out" I told him looking at him, "watch something for now or sleep, we can go tomorrow if you feel better"

"But-

Before I could complete my sentence, I held my stomach because it was paining. "and you want to go out today? On your first day?" my eyes widen, I didn't expect him to say something like this to me, I shot him a look. I was way too surprised and embarrassed. "I-I Y-You how did-

"don't ask me anything and get some rest" he told me; he was about to leave. I looked at him, I wanted him to stay and I know I can't make him stay, I don't have the right to make him stay. "I will be back right, so don't get scared" I nodded. Once he left, I was smiling. I was happy, that he is actually taking care of me. the care I crave for on these days, and he is actually making me feel better.

I got into the covers, I wanted to sleep because staying up is painful and I really don't want to trouble him. I don't know how will I whine if these cramps get severe. My eyes were looking at the dim lights, the lights which gave me a mental breakdown. I sighed, thinking how I ran to him and hugged him tight because I was scared and now he knows I've nyctophobia. Thinking how much I felt comforted with him.

"What are you thinking?" I turned to him lazily, "Nothing" he was holding his Mac. "Do you want to watch something or want to sleep? He walked to the other side of the bed. I turned to the other side to face him. He sat on the bed, he looked so perfect, how much I wish, him to be mine and one day he will call me 'mine' how much I wished, that he could love me back. "you look lost"

His voice snapped me, out of my thoughts, "n-no" he kept his Mac on the table, near the sofa. "do you want to watch something?"

"Yes", he switched on the television, and I tried sitting up, it was paining but I wanted to watch something to distract myself from this, and I was using the hot pack as well so it shouldn't hurt a lot.