The Drummer| Ashton Irwin Fan Fic

Chapter Ten

DISCLAIMER: This chapter deals with some emotional topics. Read at your own risk.

"I love you." Ashton said.

Love. Love used to mean so much. People would only say it when they truly adored something. Nowadays, it's thrown around like a frisbee. People say they love something, but never mean it. Just like sorry. Love and sorry are just repeated words that have no meaning now.

"Go." I said, simply. I felt tears start to form in my eyes. I can't cry in front of him. I just can't.

He left. With no words. No goodbyes. Just a sad, worried look. Once he left and shut the door, I ran over to my balcony.

"Please forgive me." I said, a tear sliding down my cheek. I grabbed a paper and a pin and began to write.

If your reading this, I'm sorry.

Dear Mom, I'm sorry I didn't get perfect grades, I wasn't the most social kid, I'm sorry I wasn't the daughter you wanted. I tried. I love you.

Dear Ashton, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for coming into your life. I'm sorry for not saying 'the words'. I tried.

Dear Julie, I'm sorry for pushing you away these last few weeks. I won't be able to see your face anymore. I'll miss you. You are and always will be my best friend.

Dear Luke, I'm sorry. I did something wrong, I'm sure. So if I did anything to hurt you I apologize. And I'm sorry for what I'm about to do.

Dear Michael, I'm sorry for everything. Please don't take this to your heart. I'm not worth it.

Dear Calum, I'm sorry. I hope you and Julie truly adore each other. Please don't hurt her. I don't want her to go through what I did.

I'm sorry.

I stared at the letter, as a tear rolled off my cheek, and hit the paper. I folded it and placed it on my bed.

I stood on the balcony. I stepped over the railing, so I was right outside of the railing.

One step and it can all end. No more pain. No more tears. No more heartbreak. No more anything.

"I'm coming home." I said, through my tears.

I stared at the ground. I took a deep breath.

"Alli." I heard a soft voice say. I turned around slowly to see a worried Luke and Ashton.

"Don't do it." Ashton whispered. A tear escaping his eye.

"I have to." I said.

"No. You don't. Allison, you're so much more than this. What if tomorrow is the best day of your life? You won't be alive to see it. I won't be able to see your beautiful face and fúcking adorable dimples. What about Julie? She won't be able to see her best friend everyday. Your mom will have no one. She would've lost her only daughter." Ashton said, stepping forward.

I turned around so I was facing away from Ashton.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry." I whispered. I stepped off.

"NO!" Ashton yelled.

Ashton's P.O.V

"No.." I sobbed, falling to my knees. Luke dropped to his knees as well, his mouth slightly open. His eyes were focused on the place Allison was just at.

"She did it..." He muttered.

"She was so fragile. Like a piece of glass. She cracked. Shattered. She couldn't take it-" I said.

"She was hurting so much to the point, she wanted to end it all." Luke finished.

"Wait.." Luke said, holding a piece of paper. He handed me the note. Her suicide note. 'The words'. I love you.

Allison's P.O.V

I fell. Quickly, quietly. It was like that moment before you fall asleep. That peaceful feeling of nothingness. I smiled to myself, knowing in a couple seconds I will never have to feel another ounce of pain.

Instead of landing on the solid concrete, I landed in someone's arms.

"No..." I said, tears falling.

"Shhh. It's okay." Someone whispered.

"You..you ruined my chances of forgetting." I cried. Michael carried me to the house, while Calum tried to calm me.

"Ashton?" Calum called. Michael walked into my room.

Ashton was on the floor, crying. Luke was right beside him, staring at the place I thought I could end it all.

"What the hell-" Michael started, but Ashton interrupted.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. She's alive. You're alive." He whispered, stroking my hair. Michael laid me on my bed. Everyone left the room except Ashton.

"Don't ever do that again." Ashton said, sitting me up, and sitting me on his lap.

I looked away. "It's my second attempt." I muttered.

"Allison, you were put on this earth for a reason. You didn't die today, because you weren't meant to die. Someone somewhere has a book. A book that has every person alive's story in it. You see, that person, they wrote your story for you. They know what you'll grow up to become. They know everything. It's up to you to make the decisions though. That person knows what they're doing. Everything may seem horrible and impossible now, but it's not. Something good comes out of something bad. It's up to you to find the good things though. If you continue to live your life not trusting people, and always expecting the worse, you won't live a happy life. And once you're on your death bed, you'll be thinking about everything you've ever done. All the friends you have. All your last conversations. All the things you didn't do. You'll think back to what you were afraid to do, and you'll wish you did them. Because once your life cycle comes to an end, there's no getting it back." Ashton said, holding my face in his hands, so I would look at him.

"Okay." I whispered, hugging him.

"Okay." He whispered.

"Maybe okay will be your always." Michael said, smirking.

"Shut up." I laughed.

"Okay." Michael said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Okay." I smirked.

"Stop flirting, you two!" Luke said, laughing.

I smiled and rolled my eyes.

If it wasn't for these boys, I'd be gone. Four boys changed me. They made me happier. I've never felt this kind of love before. The love you can feel radiating off of everyone's bodies. It's kind of like B.O. except it's love. And it's amazing.

AN: AJSHEKND

OKAY SO IDEK WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CHAPTER IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED.

SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER.

Ashton's little speech got me teary eyed. Dang. Ashton is a man of feels, my friends.

And can we just take a moment. PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS. Like actual living people. Ohmagerd.

Idk why I included that tfios bit at the end, but I did so ayeeee.

If you haven't already, go read the authors note. Its the chapter thing before this. And it's kinda important. At least I think so.

Thank you for reading! Have a great rest of your day. Or night. Whatever. Byeeee! xxxx