Safe Haven | Billie Eilish

1

Haven, a place of safety.

It's ironic that I count Billie as my safe haven because my name is Haven, Haven Marie. I was going to be called Haven-Lee but my parents decided it sounded too much like heavenly and as I found out after a while of being alive, my life really wasn't heavenly until I met Billie and she changed my life for the better. Billie saved me. To this day I owe my whole life to her, without her I wouldn't be breathing, I would've taken my last breath in her arms.

I honestly wouldn't be here without Billie, she was the one who met me on a night what was probably the worst of my life, quite a few things had happened and it got to the point where I was seconds away from taking my own life and I mean it was seconds before Billie found me and from that day I loved her not in a weird way because technically we're sister's now. I still do love her don't worry, she's my sister now and she's just perfect. I don't know how on earth someone like me ended up with someone as amazing as her, it's just a miracle.

She continues to tell me every day that I deserve to be alive but I still don't think I do, this world just isn't made for me. The way she makes me  giggle, she says my smile is cute but I don't see what she sees. I see a monster, she sees a princess.

I'm usually a mysterious girl but if you ask Billie about me trust me her mouth will be open for a while, for more reasons than one and you find out things you didn't want to know from funny memories to embarrassing moments, she'll tell you everything and you'll wish you'd never asked.

I like to keep myself a mystery to most people because then the whole guessing game situation is fun for me, Billie on the other hand she hates it. When I met her she hated the fact that all I'd tell her was my name but even then I only told after a week of us talking before that I was known as the girl she saved and I loved it because it didn't link me to my past, it gave me a new start, a fresh one with the people who I owe my life to.

We hit it off straight away, I mean the moment our eyes met. That was when she proved she actually cares about me, that night I saw hope rooted deep within her eyes, it was almost as if I planned out my whole life with her before we'd even met eachother.

Deep in those oceanic blue eyes, I saw that slight glimmer of hope. I saw that maybe if I gave living this life one more chance that maybe she'd help me find a new reason to live.

Well I was right and wrong with that, she did find me a reason to live and that reason was her. She has my whole heart, she took it and fixed it like a bandage on a bullet wound.

I was sad, I was lost, I was hopeless and tired of fighting for the slightest bit of happiness in this life that I didn't want. Billie changed that, she made me realise that life was actually worth living, it's now exciting and fun and something that I actually love.

Anyways enough sadness let me tell you my story full of love and laughter. This is the story of 14 year old Haven and how I overcame my struggles.