"no but i honestly think that eren could be a total dilf. plus jean." connie wondered outloud, as the group simply sat around each other, eating their lunches. "armin's giving me cute dad vibes."
y/n hummed. "no, i think armin can give off both. the twinkie's cute, but can be hot when serious."
connie nodded seriously, agreeing with the girl. "you have a good point there..."
"'course i am." y/n replied, "but you're definitely right about eren and jean. they would be certified dilfs."
mentioned-boys looked at each other freaked out, then back to the two people. "what the fuck?"
they were all at lunch, all but armin sitting on their usual bench underneath a tree. the blonde boy was of somewhere doing his duties. he was part of the student council, as well as a manager for their club, but the latter only really mattered rarely, as mikasa would handle majority of the work. but he was off this break, hence why he was absent within the group.
y/n shrugged, placing a strawberry into her mouth. connie then spoke, "we're not wrong. just picture it. eren married to someone, having twins. he needs to get the two children out of their shared room as it was time for breakfast, but the two won't budge and the children are clinging onto his arms. eren's way of getting them out was to hold them up by their arms, almost as if they were like bags. his muscles are buldging, and his glorious long hair tied back-"
"you're way too into this, springer." eren mumbled, throwing a grape at the boy's face - who managed to catch it with his mouth.
"i can totally see that, con!" y/n exclaimed with raised brows. "and then jean as a dilf: it's a hot summer day, and the grass outside needs mowing. jean's other half tells him to go outside and mow the outgrown grass. halfway through that, jean's only wearing a white tank top, sweat glistening down his obvious muscles-"
"the only person i'd willingly listen to and marry is you, y/n." the boy cut her off, lazily shooting another attempt to flirt with the girl.
y/n let out another hum. "well that's too bad, the only person i'd willingly marry is mikasa."
as she said this, the girl had placed her arm around mikasa's - who was sitting beside her - shoulders. the short-haired girl grew flustered at the comment, shying down as she continued sipping on the juice box. "i won't decline."
"now i can see y/n as a total milf." connie continued on his ramble of milfs and dilfs. he then groaned, realising something. "oh my god... how are you so hot, woman?! any age, i swear to god- i can't picture you ugly!"
the h/c haired girl simply raised a confused brow at this, "uh, thank you?"
he then propped his head on his crossed arms, looking at the girl. "hey y/n, you think you can adopt me when you're legal? you're turning eighteen soon, and you can legally adopt me, as i'm a minor. i'd love to have a milf as a mother."
"do you not like your own mother?" jean asked with a raised brow.
"i do, but she gives off 'old, sweet, lady' vibes. not milf. sorry mom." the baldie murmured. "i should stop sexualising parents."
"okay but real talk." y/n started. "eren's mom. milf."
"excuse me?!" eren exclaimed.
sasha, who was occupied with eating the whole time, finally spoke. "yes i totally agree with that. ten out of ten gorgeous."
y/n placed another strawberry in her mouth. "sorry babe. i don't mean that in a rude way, your mom's just really gorgeous."
"yeah, i wonder where it went wrong with you." jean thought the same thing, leaning his head on his fist as he rested his elbow up on the bench.
"hey! i'm still fucking hot, you fucking horse-"
"guys! guys!" a voice cut him off. all their heads turned towards the source, seeing their blonde friend running their way. as he finally reached them, the first thing he did was place his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath after his run. "sorry- lemme just catch my breath."
the group chuckled at his behaviour, y/n laughing as she handed him a bottle of water. "what's up? you seem excited, especially since you ran all the way here from wherever you ran from."
"i..." he drank from the bottle, gulping the drink down is throat fiercely. "was at the first year building."
the group deadpanned, looking at the boy with blank eyes. "that's literally the closest building to our spot."
"fuck off i was too excited okay?" armin cussed at him.
with a small chuckle leaving her mouth, mikasa looked at her kouhai. "what's up armin? what made you run here so fast?"
"right! it's about the club! i've got great news!" the boy smiled brightly. "we've finally got new first years!"
everyone's eyes widened at the fact. "holy shit, actually!?"
"yes!" he nodded excitedly. "historia and ymir. females. ymir can play guitar, and historia can play the piano."
"when do we get to meet them?" mikasa asked. "and why didn't you run this by me first? i would've wanted to meet them."
armin laughed nervously. "sorry mika, i just found out when i was in the student council room, annie came in saying that two first years wanted to see me. so i just found out really."
mikasa nodded at him. "makes sense."
"you guys can meet them after school. i told them that they could come down to the music room after school and introduce themselves. normal club hours."
"that's great," y/n smiled at him. "thanks armin, glad that you managed to find some newbies."
"what's the other news?' eren asked, "you said the word plural earlier."
"right! we've got a gig! a big one too!" the blonde smiled. "ouran academy!"
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