Reviews and recommendation

The lost Kingdom 👀

By GoldenWingz

"The lost kingdom" is a fantasy-action book that have just started, settled in the fae's kingdom. 

Honestly, I highly recommend it. I've just added it to my library and if you're lover of the genre, or lovers of good books in general, you'll do it too. Pinky-promise. 

Let's get to work. 

Positive notes

1.  Writing

Even though I don't personally know the writer, I'd dare to say they are quite experienced in creative writing. Or gifted. 

The characters are charismatic, without losing too much to realism, as it often happens on Wattpad. The descriptions focus on a few main points that really helps the readers imagining it, not being too long or boring. Dialogues actually have two people taking, not a person and their second personality. 

In general, it's extremely pleasant.

2. Story

The story, even if just started, is charming. 

Following Nara and her powers, you will have a loving father, an hardworking-good looking best friend (love interest?) and the possibility to follow her as she moves out of her natal town, moving into the capitol. Always, always, damn close to royalty. Will they enter the story? 

This fantasy will make your head fly, without that scent of cringe most Wattpad fantasy leave due to their bad writing. 

Neutral points

1. Chapters length

This is a personal opinion, that will reconnect to the negative points. 

Chapters are way too long. 

Personally, as a writer I prefer to keep mine at around 1000-2000 (max) words. I have no idea how long yours are, but I'd dare to say the first one is around 3000, in not 4000. 

Most Wattpad readers read on their phones, on the metro, train, bus, school, in bed.

Their attention span is short. I can't blame them, honestly. 

While a person reading in bed before sleeping has no problems reading more than one short chapter at a time, people that want to read and tune in to the new chapter might get annoyed by having to find their point in the chapter every time they get interrupted. 

And new readers might get bored and leave. (Not because it's boring, but Wattpad is a social network). 

2. The title

This one is for promotion. If  the writer have no intention of going viral and prefer to keep their title, it is perfectly understandable.

As I was reading the book, I must have pressed something wrong and went back to the explore page. Writing "the lost kingdom" on the search bar, I was given at least five books with that title, none of them being the one I was looking for. 

Negative points

Since the author has asked me to be as honest and brutal as possible, the negative points will be long. This DO NOT means it's a bad book (I think I made it clear, I honestly loved it), it just means that I want to help as much as I can. 

1.  This is Wattpad

You're writing a book, not a Wattpad story. 

But a book has different modalities from Wattpad. You can hold it, write it , sign it, it is completed and has no need for "views" or "like".

First of all, shorten the chapters. 

Put in some images/photos/drawing/sounds, it is a possibility that will greatly help you giving off the mood of your story. 

2. The synopsis

The synopsis is charming, but confusing. 

Since you doesn't seem to be an amateur, you also haven't fallen for the trap of "describing-everything-now, give-me-a-mirror-and-a-map". You start in medias res, letting the reader in on details from the worldbuiling as the story continue. 

Join the confused synopsis and the no-explanation and you get a very confused reader. 

My advice is to not overvalue your readers (again, we aren't idiots, but this a social and we are reading tons of different books as they are published, one chapter at the time): either put in a "prologue-explanation" chapter or clean up the synopsis. 

My impression was (it's just a guess) that you are a bit inspired by Final Fantasy (between other things). Try copying their fairytale intro, maybe. 

3.  Edit and work

Try getting a friend to correct it. 

The chapter, specially the first, longer one, are filled with small grammatical or continuity mistakes. As a writer, I get that it's hard to notice these things once you've read your chapter one thousand time. My stories are filled as well, I fear. 

But a reader might notice them. Let in a friend on the story and ask them to point out the mistakes. 

Editing exist for that!

Consider adding photos and sounds, too.

All of this being said, I generally have two advice: 

for the readers: 

Go fucking read it. And like it, please. 

For the writer: 

Work and edit! And I'll be waiting for the next chapter ;)