Reviews and recommendation

MY MATE IS A GREEK GOD

By lyndieluvl

Hi everyone!

Today we're reviewing a comedy book.

It's been a while, but God how I missed a good funny read. Thanks, lyndieluv!

Now, as it happened with "Dancing with Katanas", this review will be quite short.

Comedy isn't an easy genre, making people laugh is sometimes much harder than making them cry!

And engaging people who already assume that there is going to be a happy ending is so, so, hard.

That's why Disney writers and comedy writers have all of my respect.

...but there is to say, that it normally has a simpler build, with less level of conflict, and since the characters are normally based on a satyr of someone existing or a particular type of character, they end up having a strong base and rarely mistaken.

Therefore, comedies give me a lot less things to comment on.

More than all, when it's already as good as this one J

Here's the blurb:

Just when teenage rogue, Lydia Liv, thought her disgustingly perfect life was already horrible enough, she stumbles into her mate- the Alpha King God Beast, and is thrust into a world of paranormal drama, plot twists, romance, and a surprising amount of bloodshed.

POSITIVE NOTES

1. Hilarious

I know, I know. It's a comedy.

And I slightly overuse that term.

But this is the kind of comedy that makes you dial your doctor. No time to breathe, jokes over jokes over jokes.

We have comedy timing, ridiculous nicknames, unnervingly stupid actions, and full-on satire.

It's the perfect example of the Wattpad's satire, and my favorite so far. 

2. The thrill

A fast-paced comedy is helped, in this case, by constant action. Massive fights, followed by absurd plot twist, revelations, betrayals. Even in the darkest pit of Wattpad's satire, you'll find yourself shocked someone called Dracula Jr could actually stab you in the back. 

There is no space for long and useless descriptions, for mental trips, long monologues and similar. (Even when there seem to be one, it's normally ironical.) There is no space for boredom in "My mate is a greek god"!

3. Absurd

Not only is this a satire, they comedy in this story relies a lot on the absurd, as well. 

It's not an easy task, and it's a type of comedy that I love. 

Personally, I think my favorite bit was the character who turned into garlic. (I mean, it's a shapeshifter against vampires, what did you expect?) 

NEUTRAL NOTES

1. Q&A

Girl, your story is already good!

It's not a mistake to want to engage with your public, especially if it works.

But asking specific questions after every chapter to get the readers to engage, sometimes ends up feeling annoying. Reading each chapter on their own, as they're being published, you most likely wouldn't get the negative effect.

But reading it in a binge, as most readers do, makes the questions feel like that intermission in kid's shows, or those old TV shows with the frequent breaks of the fourth wall.

Maybe consider posting these as updates on your page, rather than at the start and end of chapters?

NEGATIVE NOTES

1. Lack of Horizontal

No, I'm not talking about spicy scenes.

It's about your arches.

Each chapter stands on its own. Actions have no consequences, and sometimes they aren't even finished. There are fights, battles, and revelations, but each one lasts for around a chapter. Maybe a few paragraphs, before the next "big thing" comes along.

Sure, you're keeping the rhythm of narration fresh, ready for more jokes and laughs.

But at the same time, you're disengaging your readers.

Just like the Q&A: each chapter is perfectly enjoyable alone, but a long read, a binge, is almost impossible.

Because while you're mocking a Wattpad story, your actual general arch is literally that. 

Reading the story as a whole, while you laugh and follow for the plot twist, the base story doesn't really have an extra line than Wattpad wolf-romance. 

2. Lack of realism

Which, in the story of a lycanthrope, a shapeshifter, the Alpha king god beast, and a vampire, it shouldn't be a problem.

But as incredible as that sounds, there is something called "suspension of credibility". Basically, your readers see and adapt to the world you're presenting, whatever that is, as long as there are no plot holes.

That's the main reason why people see a zombie movie and judge the characters' actions as "unrealistic". Because, you know, zombies are fine.

Now, you have no major plot holes that I can see. But the problem is that most of your comedy is based on the absurdity of your world and that doesn't last more than a few chapters.

The first time you read "alpha kind god beast", you get a good snort out of your nose.

The fifth time, your brain just registers that as your co-protagonist's name.

If you were to incorporate a bit more realism, you could keep on the absurd comedy by contrast. For example, a teacher wondering who the fuck names a baby "Apha king god beast". Normal students who witness the fight. Police coming over. Parents.

Those kinds of things would remind your readers that whatever they're reading is out of this world, and not really logical.

Otherwise, you're left with readers wondering what will Lydia Liv do next. Will she forgive her mate? Is Brenda mad for the candies? And not in a funny way!

----

In general, @lyndieluv, you aren't really writing a book.

It's more like a standalone comedy sketch.

Keeping on this way, you end up having significantly less read as you go on with the story.

(And if your book is for practice, you really aren't practicing structure)

That is to say, correcting these things would completely change the book and it might be a bit too much.

But if you keep these in mind for your next story, that could definitely come out as a rare gem, because your writing truly is really funny!