Reviews and recommendation

Dancing with Katanas👀

by WoolyMammoth58

WoolyMammoth58 was so nice to leave A LOT of super useful comments on my book.

Therefore, even though I wasn't supposed to start on that review for a while, I clicked on their book almost immediately out of curiosity.

At the time, I was on holiday in central Italy living out my Call me By Your Name fantasy. Sadly, though, my connection was quite... horrible.

 Clicking on a book required more or less 1-2 minutes of nothing before I actually saw a blurb.
"Dancing with katanas" seemed like a romance set in an ancient oriental scenario, a personal fave genre of mine. See "The Kingmaker" YouCanCallMeCorn

Imagine my face when I opened a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fanfic. 

You are a ballerina, who, for a causality, ends up in quite a bad situation. Rescued by Leonardo Hamato, you draw closer to him and his friends, getting yourself tangled into a web of ninjas and warriors and something much more sinister than you could have imagined. 

This is going to be fun.

Thanks, Wattpad. 

POSITIVE NOTES

1. You

I'm not flirting. 

I mean the use of "You" throughout the book. 

I only wrote one fanfic in my life (now unpublished out of... mostly shame.) and I used the same "you" trick. Let me be honest: it is not easy. At all. But it is rewarding. In this book, it is used brilliantly throughout the entire book.

2. Descriptions and humor. 

Kudos to your descriptions, WoolyMammouth58.

I have to say: considering you're describing MY hand caressing lasciviously a Ninja Turtle's shell, I may have preferred it if you didn't actually write descriptions that well. But trying to be as neutral as Swiss, your descriptions are brilliant. 

Enjoying this book as a comedy, I laughed my ass off at her obliviously at the fact she was being carried around by a masked turtle.

3. Irrealism

I have nominated "realism" a lot of times in the positive notes. But this is the first time I nominate "irrealism". 

The fact is: irrelism is a problem when it is cringe or it stands in the way of relatability.

When the pick-me-girl who has no interests or hobbies and doesn't take care of herself has four models salivating over her. When she wakes up looking like a goddess after two hours of sleep and a hangover. When there are no parents to say "no" to anything.  In these cases, the realism is broken creating a non-relatable character (who wakes up perfect?) or a too-subjective reality. 

In this case, the main character is lovable. She is a young ballerina who can't stand injustices.

 Is it realistic? Nope. In reality, breaking her ankle would be career-ending. But she knows fighting against injustice is a bad idea since saving the cat in chapter one. She is just impulsive and young, which is realistic. She is saved by miracles, one after the other, and Ninja Turtles. 

Is it realistic? Nope, but I'm definitely glad she was saved, and since I relate to her and it is not cringe at all, I couldn't care less for realism. I loved it.

NEUTRAL NOTES

1. Y/N

Honestly, I'm not a fan of "Your Name". No matter how much time I spend on Wattpad, I'm forever going to read it as "Your Name" instead of, well, my name. Considering how well you used the "you" form, I would consider either giving her a name and sticking to the "You" form, or finding clever ways to never nominate the main character's name, as in "Kill Bill: volume 1".

NEGATIVE NOTES

1. TOO excited!!

I feel like there are too many "!!" or CAPITAL WORDS or italic sentences. 

In this review book, I sometimes do it as well. It is a way like another to vary the tone. Also, considering your fanfic is based off a cartoon and animation has to be exaggerated, it's more than understandable. 

Yet, considering this is a novel, I feel like the flow is a little too fast. Too much energy constantly. Maybe, try lowering the tone in chill, calm, moments and in her internal monologue. 

IN GENERAL:

I understand some authors might get enraged at the fact I gave such a positive review to a comedy fanfic on a cartoon. You sweated blood and tears on your fantasy worldbuilding,  inventing history, science, dozens of characters, backgrounds, politics, cities... and here you are, on the same level as a fun fanfic. 

But I deeply believe in the genre's relativity. 

It's up to the author to understand their own writing skills and free time and invest a determined amount of time in a set genre. The bar for a "good" writing will set relatively to the book's target. 

I am sorry this review is short, considering how nice you were and how much of this book I read.

But to be honest, the bar for fanfic is quite low.  I personally think fanfics are the epitome of writing for fun, which is something every writer should try. It entertains the readers as much as the writer. In this case, the main objective is indeed "have fun", fall in love, laugh. 

Did this fanfic keep me hooked? YES. 

Was it ever cringe? Nope. It was irrealistic but in a good way.

There were horrible grammar mistakes? Not for what I noticed. 

Therefore, how could I possibly help you improve? You absolutely nailed the fanfic genre and I honestly don't have too much to say. You have my compliments and my gratitude, woolyMammouth58.