Reviews and recommendation

A Secret man of blood 🤌🏻

By GaryRiddell 

The-promised-writer.

@HappyCoati had warned me about you.

Just kidding, you were in a list, don't boost your ego.

Still, she had told me that you were a great writer who most likely would have requested a review and I was looking forward to reading your book.

Now, I can say: I loved it.

POSITIVE NOTES

1. First sentence and well, sentences in general.

" They say lighthing never strikes twice, but I know a guy who's been hit by it seven times... now he eats through a straw."

I'm 100% not the first reviewer who must have told you that, but it was still worth mentioning. Laughed my ass off from the first line. Loved it. That's what it means to start well off.

But moreover, every then and there, there are little sentences that are little masterpieces.

Let me nominate for the Oscar:

"When the Samarians want someone killed, they send me. When they want someone like me killed, they send a spectre."

And that's how you describe a monster. Or villain.

In two lines, are described:

- "the Samarians": no need to say who are them or what they do. But we already know they're powerful and remorseless enough to want someone killed.

- "me": the person speaking is a killer. And a strong one. There is no cringey expectative. Just put it out.

- "the spectre": if the person speaking is someone you wouldn't want as an enemy, a spectre is what you have nightmares about.

2. Brilliant dialogues

Let's be honest, nobody goes directly from Instagram to wattpad.

From memes to a full book.

Normally, there is a twitter phase were memes are actually written text around 2-3 paragraphs long. Lately, this kind of meme have started to appear on Instagram, helping people transition without actually having to download twitter.

Thanks, Instagram and illecit appropriation.

Anyway, almost every dialogue here seems to be generated directly from these memes, filled with witty comebacks. Absolutely hilarious.

NEUTRAL NOTES

1. Present simple

What is the matter with present simple? Two books in a row. Read my previous review.

Again, not an actual mistake. Just not a fan.

There is to say, though, that the natural witty dialogue between the characters helps recovering that fictional strength that is lost by present simple.

2. Chapters length

SPOILERS

Chapter 1: a tavern. People talking, we're introduced to a few characters and spectres. The spectres get to the point, we get to see their relationship and backstory, they fight the old lady, the army arrives, one spectre betrays, they fight the army, he tries to save the boy, plot twist, the boy dies, he defeats the army, the second spectre destroy the town and go on a killing rampage.

Chapter 2: he gets a new mission. A new character is introduced. They get to a tavern. New character is introduced. Assassins try to kill them. Huge fight. They escape. They get to a side road. Sig's sex sketch. What do they do now? They get to Musk's office. Plot twist. What do they do now?

As you can see, there are several narrative arches for every chapter.

I might have ADHD, but every reader attention has a climax that follows an arch and restart every time a new chapter begins.

Within a chapter of this length, a reader attention gets up and down, up and down, up and down without ever getting the fresh restart of a new chapter.

In my opinion, you're risking people abandoning mid chapter, which is much worse than an end of chapter leaves because it's harder to refind the point you left at.

3. Sig

Sigh. (pun intended).

He's clearly the comical relief and a great one.

Still, his kind of comedy is 100% vulgar, contrasting with the tone of the book.

It's like putting Barney Stinson in Game of Thrones. I feel like he takes too much space, redirecting the direction the book had taken. Still, he's very fun and keep the reader glued, therefore I don't know whether it's worth it to rewrite him.

NEGATIVE NOTES

1. D & D

Magic, aliens, spectre, there is a lot. It is well-handled, but what is the core?

While in Drugs, Treasons and other demons I could picture the writer a bit before I actually spoke to her, reading this book I can't.

The characters stand by themselves, but I can't see the writer behind the story.

I can't see people behind them, I can't relate to any of them. Most of them seems to be based off cinematic archetypes, which, even if entertaining, can be superficial.

In a movie, handsome actors and acting make you care about even the dumbest of the characters, but (I'm talking from experience) most of them have backstories that are useful to the actor, even if not shown in the movie.

In a book, we don't get any of that. To care for a cinematic character, we need some realism to be inserted.

For example, I started caring for Squad when you mentioned he's the first black spectre. Realistic, cool! But his feeling, emotions, doubts and problems are rarely mentioned in the present, dissipating most of the empathy.

In general, every character has a cool visual and backstory, but it's hard to relate to any of them. Most of the book feels like a D&D campaign.

2. Slow down

The book starts amazingly, with the perfect rhythm. But soon, the walk becomes a run and we're lost behind.

First chapter, we're introduced to at least 4 characters. By the end of chapter 1, 3 of them won't ever to be seen again. Chapter 2, four more characters are introduced. Their backstory is sharply explained, but hard to remember in the flow of events.

Chapter one, 40% of the paragraphs are dedicated to describing a fight. Not a fan (hard to read), but necessary since you're describing a battle. But what is the need for killers in chapter 2?

Chapter 2, we finally get to see the head of the Samarians organization and see a little how they work. Just a little. Because in the meanwhile, we find out how the previous chapters ended, where the other spectre is, and are introduced to the second main character as well as her backstory.

Also, side note: that little exchange wasn't too good. While Squad oversharing makes a lot sense after a trauma (bravo!), her oversharing just feels like info-dumping. It's not the right moment to unravel her backstory and it waste a lot of potential suspence. 

IN GENERAL: 

Loved this book. It's fun, entertaining, alive. 

It is not the kind of book you can read on the bus (chapters are too long), yet it's a perfect action movie to revive a boring night.