Reviews and recommendation

Autumn Finch

By Snowheart19_03

This might be one of my harshest reviews.

Sorry, @Snowheart19_3

The reason being the author doing something that honestly personally stung me.

Read the review and you'll know.

The story is centered around two 17 y.o.

Autumn, returning to school after a severe trauma, and Leo, coming to school for the first time of his life.

What nobodies know, not even Autumn, is that Leo is secretly the son of a, overprotective billionaire.

Positive Notes:

1. Fun

In real life, you would have to walk over my dead body to make me say it but... I've read a lot of romantic comedies book.

They're fun. Hot. Romantic. Entertaining.
Realistic?

Not for a single bit.

But they give you exactly a dream scenario and let you play in it.

This book is exactly the case.

Neutral notes:

1. Mary Sue

This is more a Negative note, sorry. I've put it into the neutral because, maybe, you're already planning on this and it's just a temporary thing. 

Anyway. 

Leo can be shy, distracted, stubborn. 

But Autumn?

She's beautiful, super clever, a book nerd, adorable, she loves her family and is the perfect daughter. And?

For characters  in general and "hated" one in particular, they're supposed to have flaws. Thanks to this flaws, they're going to move the story in a direction or another. 

Considering it's a romantic book on Wattpad, those flow can be small. 

Maybe she's unable to dress herself properly. She has a pet tarantula. She's messy as fuck. She swears. She's boring. 

But something. Even just something to make the reader relate to her better. 

Right now, Autumn is a perfect Mary Sue. 

Negative notes:

1. Continuity.

Switching character's POVs can be tricky just for this. But when you're switching between two MAIN characters, you really have be careful. Leo is shy as hell, almost unable to speak to a girl (he never spoke to a girl?!) at their first meeting, yet, five minutes later, in Autumn's POV, he's a seducer. I understand he's supposed to be the "guy of your dreams"... but... choose one dream.

Or give him character development, he can be always become a latin lover a few chapters in. But give the boy time.

2. Story

This one is just for the author, because they have sent me the complete story, even if it's not published.

A poor traumatized girl meeting a guy-of-your-dreams who falls for her straight away, helping her trough her problems is quite romantic.

Not deep, not heavy... but why should it be?

I'm a fan of the romance genre.

The fact he's a bilionaire's son?

Mmmm... a bit too much. Realism completely disappear, but again, why should it be realistic?

It's fun, entertaining, dreamy. It's wattpad, we're all going to appreciate it.

The problem here is:

Once you've set the mood (which, considering the elements, can only be romantic, optimistic, feel-good and maybe comic) you can't betray it.

The story you've sent me is full of heavy drama, often unjustified and not foreseen.

You're riscking the "beautiful" effect.

My advice is: don't try to fit a story into something it isn't.

This is not drama. Of course, you need conflict to keep the story entertaining, but since the mood is light, you need a shocking but light conflict.

I would recommend you reading "Can you keep a secret?" By Sophie Kinsella.

3. RESEARCH, FOR FUCK'SAKE

Is the title rude?

Yes.

Am I regretting it?

Oh, god, no.

In the first chapter, he speaks Italian.

As an italian, I was delighted. He even had an Italian lame.

Few chapter in, he's declared... SPANISH?

The meaning of his name even being translated bad.

Leo... just means lion.

Leo...nardo, means literally courageus lion which might be translated to Braveheart in a freely way, but that's not the literal meaning.

And it's Italian, anyways.

This really enraged me.