Salvation | Severus Snape

Chapter 9 - Thinking

He was once again sitting at the Black Lake, pondering. Severus did a lot of thinking nowadays, wondering who he was, and what his purpose truly was. If he hadn't pledged his life to helping Potter defeat Voldemort, where would he be? Surely not teaching... though his first job had been an assistant at the Leaky Cauldron, which was less than pleasant as he was often assigned with cleaning the dishes. Then again, he realised he'd most likely be in Azkaban because the spineless Karkaroff had revealed to the whole Council of Magical Law that he was a Death Eater. Without Dumbledore's help, he wouldn't be here.

"What are you thinking about?" Katherine asked, plopping down next to him. Nowadays, it wasn't uncommon for her to see him and strike up a conversation, which she'd done a few times. It was hardly believable that they'd never met before last December, because now she seemed to be frequenting many of the places he did.

"Just... life," he replied.

"Life is a strange thing," she deliberated, "One moment we love it, one moment we hate it.

Severus stared at her with his usual impassive face. "Love? I do not understand how you can ever love such an unfair thing."

"True, have you heard of that metaphor? In the valley of life, some birds flew and reached the sky," said Katherine, "And others dreamt of flying, but their wings never opened again. It's really a shame that there are so many unfortunate situations."

"Especially those you can't control," he agreed. "You should add, 'The rest refused to dream knowing they'd never be able to fly.'" It was so peculiar. When he talked to her, it almost felt as if he was normal, as if he wasn't an ex-Death Eater or a wizard who'd made all the wrong choices.

She gazed up into the sky, "But you know, it's not bad to dream. If you look around, there are so many sights worth seeing, so many reasons worth living for that you might not realise. The clouds remind us that things are always changing. If we just continue fighting for our freedom, there's always a possibility we could one day reach the sky."

Severus scoffed. "How naive."

"Better than sulking and being half-dead every day, though. A lot of times, dreams are what help me get through it, hoping that I'll live to see another beautiful scene, discover another delicious food or talk to another brilliant person."

He felt envious of her positivity and her ability to turn trivial moments into treasured memories. A thought came to him. "How's Lupin?" he asked, curious to what went on between them nowadays.

"He's fine. We've been to Hogsmeade and talked a few times, nothing too serious yet. Oh and, I think he's still tired from his illness. I hate it..."

"You hate what?" inquired Severus, raising an eyebrow. 'Hate' was not a word he'd expect to come out of Katherine's mouth.

"I hate that illnesses exist. They can ruin people's lives and most of it's based on luck. I mean, who asks to be born with a defect or a disability? Even the flu can turn into something deadly — if it weren't for medicine, that is." Sadness laced her voice.

Severus couldn't help but think of Lupin, even though he didn't have the same type of illness she was talking about. He had been cursed at a young age by Fenrir Greyback, and his lycanthropy became a huge issue, isolating him from other children and almost denying his entry to Hogwarts. Lupin had been fortunate to meet friends who accepted him for who he was. It was a miracle that the Wolfsbane Potion had been invented recently, allowing him to transform while keeping his sanity, since most people despised werewolves. "You'd think, being wizards, we would've discovered a way to be completely immune," he said, frowning.

"You'd think," she concurred, "But there are some diseases even the skilled Healers can't help."

"I recall you said you worked at St Mungo's before?"