Severus bolted upright in a cold sweat. He shuddered as he tried to recollect his thoughts. What was that dream just now? he thought, his brows furrowing. It had been so out of place compared to his other dreams. At first, he thought it was another terrible memory, with Potter and his friends tormenting him at school. But now he recalled a hazy image of a familiar pair of eyes. It leered down at him mockingly, full of loathing... and then those condescending emotions morphed into a soft compassion, full of affection. He couldn't tell what it had looked like any longer. The only other part he could remember clearly was those necklaces. The silver and golden wings clasped together, forming some sort of bird, and flew into the starry night sky.
What did it all mean? Why hadn't he dreamt of the torture and nightmares? His heart felt constricted, as if this was some sort of premonition. And speaking of the necklace, Severus climbed out of his bed and rummaged through his drawers. It had to be in here somewhere... not underneath the stacks of paper. Not in the chest he kept important objects. Not in the bottom drawer either, there were only old books. Wait, he thought, running his fingers over the spines of the books. He felt a material that was frayed and tattered. Severus brought out his Advanced Potion-Making Book from sixth year. Sure enough, the cover was tilted, and underneath it... the thin, silver necklace. His hand began to tremble as he gripped the wing pendant tightly until it was blood warm and his knuckles were white.
They had both worn it all throughout fourth year, but in his fifth year he suggested there was no need to wear it anymore, and told Lily just to keep it as a reminder of their friendship. He'd acted as if their friendship didn't need to be proven by a piece of jewellery, but in reality, the reason was that Severus had begun to hang out with Mulciber, Avery and the other Slytherins. They thought necklaces on boys were lame and he was slightly embarrassed to be wearing it all the time. It was a small thing, but one tiny thing led to another and soon affected his whole future. If only he hadn't listened... if only he hadn't given into the pressure from his group of Slytherins. Lily had warned him multiple times that they would all turn out to be Death Eaters who manipulated the Dark Arts to hurt others, but he hadn't listened. His friends had talked so excitedly, convincing him that being a Death Eater meant being strong and conquering enemies proudly.
"Why would you listen to those blood supremacists over your best friend?" he'd asked himself multiple times after realising the truth. He really wished he hadn't. All he wanted was to be accepted by his fellow peers... but he had chosen the wrong ones. Now he was sure Katherine was wearing Lily's half of the necklace. So she had re-gifted his present to someone else... it just proved how much she loathed him for what he had done.
Severus set the necklace down. He quickly changed into his black robes and placed it in his pocket. I need a drink, he thought, deciding to head to Hogsmeade soon.
"Hmmm," he made out as his eyes were now directed to the potions textbook. He flipped through several of the pages, scanning over the annotations he'd made in his younger years. Of course, he'd memorised these recipes long ago, but it wouldn't hurt to review them again. When he walked out of his chambers, he placed the textbook in the classroom cupboard. Perhaps he would find another useful idea to include in his lessons, though he knew most of the students were too incompetent to understand anyway.
When he finally settled down in a dark corner of the Three Broomsticks, Severus let out a long sigh. It had been almost a week since Katherine had left him in the forest. He had come to order a Firewhisky every morning since that day. Her words had triggered memories he never wanted to relive. He hated himself for submitting to his drinking habits again after he had quit five years ago, not wanting to turn out a destructive drunk like his father. He wouldn't keep it up once school started, of course, but he took every opportunity to drown out the turmoil in his heart. All he wanted to do was forget — forget all his problems and forget how worthless he was. He downed the glass and basked in the familiar sensation of burning in his throat, filling his body with a fire that incinerated his sadness and regret.
أنت تقرأ
Salvation | Severus Snape
قصص الهواةSeverus Snape, stuck in an endless cycle of grief and hatred, was prepared to lose everything at any instant - his life bound to only one purpose: protecting Harry Potter. He thought even the daunting task of a spy against Voldemort was not enough r...
